Another night staring at the ceiling.

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I spent most of last night observing the spackle on my ceiling again. It seems to be a common thing now. If a speck were to fall I'd probably notice it's absence at this point. I don't know what's going on, the start of my mid live crisis maybe? Last night was Valentines day & yet I was feeling a lack of affection. My wife & I don't share many common interests any longer( She's got her own problems which I won't get into on here ). It's hard to have a conversation with her & the whole "whatever" response she commonly gives is really starting to make me feel like there's no real interest. My crafting has all but stoped due to the weather, funding & lack of an outlet which has left me feeling somehow crippled. The reinactment groups that used to excite me have fizzled out. I'm stuck doing menial paperwork at the office making me feel like the spare tire which is growing around my midsection. My only real outlet is a video game where my character acts more like I used to than I do. Reading what I've wrote so far it looks more like some kind of depressed funk. IDK. My wife's probably going to read this & tear into me for it but at least I've gotten some of my thoughts out. To top it all off I'm probably going to have to work tomorrow because corporate can't get their heads out of the &^%$* & schedule the trucks to arrive during our regular shift when we're actually needing work. Instead they all show up on Friday , Saturday & Sunday. Sigh....