Do you feel like people take advantage of you?

United States
February 15, 2008 12:29pm CST
Do you feel that those in your life take advantage of you? Have you ever thought that they are taking your kindness as a weakness? And if your answer is yes, but you continue to allow it to happen, why do you suppose you are unable to put your foot down and say "enough is enough". Are you afraid of losing someone's respect or friendship? Is there anyone in your life that you think takes advantage of you over and over?
6 people like this
20 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
15 Feb 08
I was kind of like that when i was younger but I have learned to stand up for myself. I have no problem helping others out but now if I feel someone is taking advantage I just move on from that person and stop allowing it to happen. no one can use you if you don't allow it.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Feb 08
That is my personal philosophy now also. I don't blame the other person, because I allowed it to happen to me.
• India
16 Feb 08
i first dont like later i feel itz my friend so itz kinda 50/50 but if i feel they are taking a lot then i try to move away from them without blaming...
@jennifer611 (2514)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Yes, I do feel like people take advantage of me. lately I am just so fed up with it though. I always find it hard to say no. I let family move in with me and they repaid me by stealing my son's clothes, stealing my puppy and stealing my $2 bills from my photo album. there were other things and it was just so much. I was so stressed. when I had the proof they took my puppy (which was the same day I noticed my $2 bills missing) I threw them out without any questions asked. I was so mad that these people could do this to me especially after I let them come in my home when they didn't have any place to go. it's been since summer (07) that this happened and just the other night would you believe this person called me asking if they can stay with me again? It took me a very long time to be able to get over what happened last time and this just makes me so mad that they could even attempt to ask me something like that. from now on I will not allow people to walk all over me any more.. it doesn't matter if it's family or not. I have learned in the last few years that your family can hurt you worse than anyone else..
• United States
16 Feb 08
I'm glad that you took the initiative to throw them out and I can't believe they have asked to come back again. I have a sister that treated me in the same manner and she is not welcome in my home ever again.
1 person likes this
@den85730 (51)
• United States
16 Feb 08
I'm really enjoying this subject. It's hard, sometime, to say NO to people that may need your help. But, it has to be done. It's unfortunate that there are people out there that just seem to be parasitical. They need to learn to fend for themselves and earn their "keep" in this cruel and often "cold" world. I've recently had an experience that finally made me "shake the bad fruit from the tree". I'm already financially unable to take care of my wife and myself and had a border that got mad because I wanted him to rinse his dish and put it in the dishwasher. He felt that in a month, paying a seventy dollar electric bill, buying two loaves of bread and some pepsi was "paying his way", I guess. Anyway, thank you for letting me "vent". There have been several of such incidents in the past year that were similar and I'm plain tired of it too. This is a good subject, because it seems there are a lot of us "doormats" or "x-doormats" out there.
1 person likes this
@stvasile (7306)
• Romania
17 Feb 08
I certainly believe people are taking advantage over my kindness. Sometimes I find myself helping everyone around me and not having any time left for myself. But it makes me feel good... it makes me feel... well... useful. Not to mention some of my friends would never make it through college if it weren't for me... I know that one day some of them won't even say "Hello!" when passing me by on the street (it has happened before, with high-school mates), but I am hoping that maybe one or two will return a bit of the favor and help me in a time of need.
1 person likes this
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
16 Feb 08
hi kb, i think that in life everything is a choice. a person can either be a victim and think that all are taking advantage of him, or they can decide to look at life at a different way, and then no one will take an advantage of them. if they do choose to do somthing for the other person it will be because they want to give, without expecting the others to return them favours. give without want. what do you think?
• United States
16 Feb 08
I think its a wonderful perspective, but unfortunately you can give out of kindness, but the other person doesn't know when to stop asking.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Feb 08
i don't want to think that way on those people around me.. However, sometimes, i cannot stop myself thinking that way.. Maybe i'm just too good to them that i can't say no to their requests to me.. __
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
16 Feb 08
Yes.I know that people always want more from a person who does things for them.It is a sickening trait.By birth I am a helper.I never hesitate to help others. I tell yo0u one incident.I volunteered to regulate the traffic and parking in the school parking lot with the school attenders.Once during the function as the principal was taking the guest through the parking a fool tried to cross with a bike.Before I could stop that chap the principal gave that 'what the hell are you doing here' look as if I am a paid servant.And the sudden change in my face and eyes made her to walk away with the tail between her legs.So much for being helpful.I still continue to do that job because I want to do something to the orderliness inside the school campus.
@balasri (26537)
• India
16 Feb 08
Thanks friend.I know what I am doing and I am doing it for myself only.Thanks again.
• United States
16 Feb 08
I think we have talked about your job at the school before and that it is something to be proud of. Don't let them get to you.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 08
In the past yes, but I soon hardened up, maybe that's thanks to my ex, who took me totally for granted, would walk on me hand and foot and I would be the doormat, he took advantage on me having the car and I would be the taxidriver, the house cleaner and the counselor all rolled in one. If he needed to offload crap that was going on in his life then I was the mug! In the end I couldn't take any more, it was a big lesson in my life to just switch off, enough was enough. There is only so far you can push me. Now he hasn't got me he is dire straits and now he realizes just how much I did for him. As the saying goes you don't know what you've got till you've lost it!
• United States
16 Feb 08
LOL. Been there, done that, not going there again.
@Deea48 (1166)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Amen...
@gloria777 (1674)
• India
16 Feb 08
I don't think there is anyone who takes advantage of me. If anyone takes advantage of me to some extent, then it is my parents and we can't say anything to them. Its our duty to make them happy.
1 person likes this
@maxsee212 (799)
• United States
16 Feb 08
if you feel like people are taking advantage of you, you are probably not a wholehearted generous person. why do i say this? i say this because if you whole heartedly give and help people no matter what, i mean you don't expect anything from people that you help, you would not feel you are being taken advantage of because you are giving the help wholeheartedly and you don't expect anything more or less from the people that you have help besides the fact that you like to these for the people.
• United States
16 Feb 08
I understand that, but sometimes you can only give so much of yourself, before it becomes detrimental to you.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
16 Feb 08
who should know more than this than me? My so called best friend took immense advantage of me and played with my emotion. few months back he behaved very badly with me and now we are no longer in touch. he just took my advantage. few other people also take advantages. but i think its my helpful nature that i can't change.
1 person likes this
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
16 Feb 08
My mom is such a good person. I saw how her friends, relatives and even families took advantage of her. So I am aware up to what point should I only be good. So people around me will not take advantage of me. Although sometimes, there are still who does it to me.
@zabmer (36)
• India
16 Feb 08
What if one of your very own close and dear person starts doing this to you. At the same time you have small children to take care of without any external help you dont have a single minute to spare even to say 'enough is enough' and especially your financial need is more than what you get.And the whole of your in laws are out to kill you they demand to celebrate your husbands birthday instead of helping you and understanding your position.At the same time you have to handle a rich epileptic mother in law whose wealth every relative in the joint family is swindling by giving her sadastic pleasure in making you a bad person.Would you concentrate on your children or put your foot down ? Your husband who should be with you is with them due to physcological reasons in these circumstances what choice do we have?
1 person likes this
• India
16 Feb 08
I think most of friends and family members takes advantages of me. They are very close, hence I am not in a position to get rid of them.
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Feb 08
People don't take advantage of me, because I don't allow them to do so. Sadly, people take advantage of my husband, but I am helping him with that. I have had to teach him that he is not responsible for the entire world, that he needs to carve out a bit of it for himself, before he blows.
@humbleme (1004)
• India
29 Feb 08
Hello kbourgerie,Yes people loves to exploit and always ready to take advatange from you if they find out you are kindhearted,generous broadminded person,and people will consider you weakminded foolish man/woman unless and untill you become intelligent yourself to come out of this image intelligently yourself.But dont change yourself and dont become like one of them selfish human, rather continue your kindness and good humanbeing mentality, all you have to do is to do is judging people if they are eligible to get your kindness and companianship/friendship in deep level, if you find someone not eligible then dont get involved, give a smile or say sorry straight and walk away from that scene and erase that matter from your brain.If you cant follow my suggestion you will be exploited as long you will live. Thanks
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
15 Feb 08
They would if I let them. No, I am not afraid of losing someone's respect for refusing to be a doormat. Obviously they don't have any respect for someone they would try to take advantage of repeatedly. A foolish friend is, I think, much worse than an intelligent enemy.
• United States
16 Feb 08
As always, said with such wisdom. Thank you.
@xboxboy (5576)
15 Feb 08
yes, i think i was guilty of letting things go. now i have let rip! i quit my managerial job of 5 years and stopped smoking and stopped bitting my nails, i am a new person!!!
• United States
16 Feb 08
Good for you, stopping smoking is a task in itself. Wish I could do it.
@o2bfree (225)
• United States
15 Feb 08
Okay who gave you the right to tell my life story???? LOL I am so joking. Well not about the fact that I have mistaken my own kindness,compassion, and generousity as being the best way to treat everyone!!! I have just recently learned this is not the case, initially yes, but once someone proves to you Over and Over that they are not worthy of these gifts from you, you should have alteast that much respect for yourself and detach. My most recent story is long, but you can see it as one of my first discussions on here. Which has been less than a week ago, but for whatever reason I have finally learned this lesson in life. When enough is enough!!! I guess it takes a different number of times for us all before learning that lesson. I wish you and all that respond to this the best at moving beyond this and congratulate the ones who have already done so ; ) Do unto others as you would have them do to you, applies both ways!
• United States
16 Feb 08
I understand, sometimes it takes learning the hard way.
@Deea48 (1166)
• United States
29 Feb 08
When I was young it happend much more, hmmmm I would say in the last 5 years I have learned to not let it happen any more. Now , I just say no. I like it this way much better, not so many resentments and no more dissappointments in myself.