Three year olds can do things my 14 year old Downes Syndrome granddaughter can't
By ctrymuziklvr
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
United States
February 18, 2008 12:48pm CST
Since I have my granddaughter for the winter vacation from school I can't help but worry about a lot of things she can't do. How many times have we heard about 3 and even 2 year olds calling 911 because their mother has passed out? I'm no spring chicken and have my share of medical probems. Nothing life threatening but we never know. She's taught what they say is everyday life skills but nobody has ever taught her how to use a phone! She doesn't even know how to answer it never mind call someone. She won't talk to anyone includin her mother on the phone. She just sits and listens. Her vocabulary is very limited and a lot of what she says is gibberish unless you know her. I don't know if my daughter has tried but I've tried a number of times to teach her how to use the phone but how do you teach her to call 911 without actually calling them? I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate that since they are there for emergencies. Maybe I'm paranoid but I worry about me dieing in my sleep and she can't do anything about it and will just sit there on the bed never answering the phone if it rings since my daughter calls to check in on us often while she's at work. I have been carrying my cell phone around with me when she is here as a precaution and it would help if I were to fall or something where I am conscious but what if I were to be unconscious what would happen to us then? She's tested every year for her progress and they say she is now at the 9 year old level and I totally disagree with them. The kid can't communicate with people even when she herself is hurting. How can they say she is at 9 years old? If you were to ask me she is only 3 years old in most life skills. What would make them say 9 years old?
2 people like this
9 responses
@ellie333 (21016)
•
18 Feb 08
I feel you are worrying unecessarily on the 911 factor. If you were there on your own and something happened who would call them. You mention that you daughter phones everyday to make sure all is ok. If she phoned and didn't get an answer from the land line or cell phone I am sure she would drive straight over to make sure everything ok. My friend has a downs child who is in fact three years old and is a joy to be around. They all progress at different times in different ways the same as any child. Are you worried about the responsibilty of having your granddaughter and if so speak to your daughter about it. I'm sure she would understand if you voiced your concerns to her. I am aware through other discussions she probably needs a break herself and as a family you have all been through tough times but tell her your fears. God bless you all at this difficult time. Ellie :D
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
19 Feb 08
I have talked to my daughter about this and we both feel that my granddaughter would just sit on the couch waiting for me to get out of bed or off the floor...lol...whatever the case would be. She would probably think I was playing if I was on the floor. Yes my daughter is going through a tough time right now and I'm all she has and I'm happy to be here for her and my granddaughter.
1 person likes this
@Modestah (11177)
• United States
18 Feb 08
I suppose you can practice on a play phone.
when our son was 3 his father used the back half of a picture frame - you know the cardboard with the little easel stand thing?
On it he drew a police car and next to it the number
he drew a doctor and next to it wrote the number
he took a picture of my father and cut it out and adheased it - next to it the number
he took a picture of our neighbors, and did the same thing.
----
this was before the ease of 911, but son was able to press the numbers in the order given... with 911 it would be much easier.
this can work even if the child does not know how to identify the numbers 9 1 1,but can press what she sees.
1 person likes this
@Modestah (11177)
• United States
19 Feb 08
I am so glad that I could be of some use, lol.
we still have that little picture directory he made our son. tucked away for prosperity.
I did not mention that he laminated the front - or actually he used clear contact paper. and then it stood up on the telephone table like a picture frame might...
my father and neighbors were so thrilled to come to the house and find their pictures next to their phone numbers too.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Another awesome idea! I knew I could count on the members on mylot to come up with things I never thought of. Everyone here is so awesome!!
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
19 Feb 08
lol...I can't even get her to answer the phone while I'm in the bathroom. I don't know what her phobia is about the phone. Maybe it's just that she knows she doesn't really talk well.
@heavenschild (4777)
• Canada
18 Feb 08
I truly do understand your worry and concern here as my son will be five in June and has Autism...He is around age three developmentally and is still in diapers etc.
Thanks to an early diagnosis and an excellent private therapist I found a year and a half ago he is doing marvelously. He can do some dressing like put on his own coat and boots and he has a large vocabulary but not all clear...He can count to twenty, knows his shapes and all of his colors and loves to sing and look at books etc. He has certainly come a long way but I know that he would not call 9111 if something went wrong...He would just be here doing whatever while I was in trouble and he would be alone until someone came...It is a scary thought!! Her also does not understand danger and so I am working on teaching him that but his understanding in some things is that of a two year old! We are working with him on many levels and hope that he will continue to improve.
As for them saying that she is nine years old developmentally I am not sure how they arrive at that...I have a back ground in education and so I go on what I know in order to figure out where my boy is developmentally and do my best to progress him but can only work on so many areas at once....
I know the difficulty and worry of having a special child but I also know the joy and how he is the sunshine of my life...He is a very sweet boy and very loving and I am sure your granddaughter is this way also...We just have to do the best we can with them :)and enjoy them because they are a blessing!
~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@heavenschild (4777)
• Canada
19 Feb 08
Yes, I feel the same way with my son....
I guess that is why we want what is best for them and to progress them as much as we can.....
However, as I do that I have come to the realization that what I want for my son is his happiness and he is so happy....I wish I could be that way sometimes...He looks at the world in a different light and is so beautiful...I won't stop fighting but I will allow him to be himself and enjoy life as he does :)
HUGS
~Heavens~
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
19 Feb 08
I'm sure you do understand since your son has autism and you have been through a lot also. My granddaughter is the sunshine in my life and sometimes I think she's the only thing that keeps me sane.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
19 Feb 08
I have to agree that they are the happiest kids in the world aren't they? The smallest thing like listening to the Wiggles just makes my granddaughters day!
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
18 Feb 08
It doesn't sound like she's at the level of a nine year old. Sometimes doctors aren't as good a judge of things as the people who live with the child/patient.
How old is your grandaughter?
I have two cousins that are mentally retarded. I think I've heard is said that isn't the politically correct way to say it, but at least one of my cousins definitly did not have downs syndrome.
My other cousin, I only met once, so I dont' know if he has downs syndrome or not.
The one that I did meet a few times had severe brain damage. I would guess that she was at the level of a 6 month old. She didnt' speak. She had to be assisted when walking. I don't know a lot of details, but I know when I visited, she just sat there and rocked and played with some bracelets that she always wore. Kind of like an infant would play with a rattle. She was fifty something years old the last time I saw her.
Sorry, enough about my cousin. I just want to suggest something about your situation. Do you have any neighbors that are reliable? could you make sure that your daughter has those numbers? That way if she calls to check on you, and you don't answer, she could call one of your neighbors and they could just go over and check up on things for her.
Good luck and God Bless.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
18 Feb 08
I just noticed that her age is in the heading of your discussion. Never mind that question!
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Stupidly enough...lol...my daughter doesn't have the phone number of any of my neighbors and that's an excellant idea. I do have one neighbor who I know can be counted on if there was a problem and my daughter had to call him. Thanks for the idea.
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
18 Feb 08
I am not sure what they check for when testiing children with Downs Syndrome but it might not hurt for your daughter to ask them. As for her learning to call 911 maybe you could call the police dept. and explain to them the circumstances and ask them if anyone that works with 911 could maybe help with teaching children with handicaps or learning disabilities.
Also have you ever checked into these home monitoring things for people who may not be able to get to a phone if something goes wrong and the police and medics will be notified and on their way to your house? You might not ever need it but it would put your mind at ease I'm sure.
Also I'm sure if your daughter called and you didnt answer she would have help coming to check on your.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Yes, I have checked into the lifeline monitoring systems and they cost more than I can afford. Your idea about the police was a good one and I'm going to check into that if only for my granddaughters safety and it would be something I think she should know how to do. I'm also sure if my daughter got no answer here she would make sure someone checked in on us.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
19 Feb 08
I am not that experienced with Downs Syndrome, although I have met a number of such wonderful people in my life.
It doesn't sound to me like she is at a 9 year old level. Although some kids (and adults) can be paranoid about the use of the phone.
Not being able to communicate when she is hurting is not good fpor a 9 year old level.
Regarding using the phone. There are some really fancy toy ones available. I think you get get two, so that make believe phone calls can be made. If they are expensive, the Downs Association should be able top help out with the cost.
@slickcut (8140)
• United States
24 Feb 08
Ctry, i hate to say this but i just believe that your granddaughter needs training by a professional..My sister has a step son that is downs,and he is not as high level as a 9 years old but he is very smart..My sister and her husband got him some training in a facility at Richmond, they deal with children like this and while he was there they taught him many things,and now he can even have a simple part time job...Now he is home and he is very talented and can do a lot of things...He dresses himself,talks on the phone and can hold a conversation..I think maybe they are probably right that she is on a 9 year old level,but without proper training they cannot reach their full protental...I so feel she could do a lot more with proper training....
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
20 Feb 08
Maybe you should meet with these people, ctry, and ask them to explain to you exactly how they arrive at the age-level your granddaughter is supposed to be at now. I'm sure they must have tests and guidelines to go by. I also believe it is possible to teach her things like using the phone. I have seen 3-year-olds do it often. You are in the best position to know how to get through to her with this. I would suggest you make up some type of game where the phone plays an important part. You'd be surprised just what can be accomplished once we put a lot of effort into making it work. Good luck!
