Is it wrong?

@sam305 (74)
February 20, 2008 10:48am CST
I have a really close boy mate, we talk all the time and have been friends for years. However my boyfriend is really jealous and says its wrong to be that close to another boy. And that we obviously must have feelings for each other. Which is totally untrue he has a girlfriend i have a boyfriend. And have never felt anything for each other. So is it wrong like my boyfrined says?
5 responses
• United States
22 Feb 08
This could really go either way. If your boyfriend trusts you, and you give him no reason not to, you should be able to be friends with whoever you want. On the other hand, take into consideration your feelings if he were to be just as close to another girl. Would you be jealous too? Just some food for thought. Good luck in your relationship.
21 Feb 08
Maybe your boyfriend is jealous because he wants you to spend more time for him. He is your boyfriend and he wants you to treat him as a bestfriend too. Though you are not in love with your guy friend, the person you are attached to could be hurt because of the closeness and intimacy you share with others. Just make sure that you give more time and importance to your boyfriend. Because if he so secured of you, he will not feel aggravated.
@SukiSmiles (1991)
• United States
20 Feb 08
Growing up and through college, I always had more guy friends than female friends. Even when I was dating. It seemed that they were just easier to get along with. But your question has made me think - where have all those guy friends gone? We email from time to time, get together rarely and usually in a group setting. Now that I have been married for 11 years, I only hang out with my female friends. It was not a conscious thing I did. My husband was never jealous of my guy friends, but he didn't have any close girl friends and maybe I would be jealous if he did. He is definately jealous, but I would not break off a friendship that I have had that was longer than the person I was dating just because he was jealous. Good luck!
• Japan
20 Feb 08
i think, it's not wrong. unless otherwise you're talking about your friend to your bf, avoid talking about other boys to your bf and spend more time with him than your close friend, show to your boyfriend that you much care for him not your close friend...in this way, he will not get jealous again with your close friend.
• United States
20 Feb 08
You're in a tough situation. Honestly, no, it is NOT wrong for you to have a friendship with a guy. What you are dealing with, as it sounds to me, are your BOYFRIEND'S insecurities. This is HIS issue. Why does he have such a problem with you being friends with this guy? Also, step back and look at how YOU are. Are you doing anything, unintentionally of course, to make him feel insecure? Do you put him first in most things? Is he like this with any other subject? There's no easy answer that anyone can give you. If your boyfriend feels very strongly about this issue, you could be sending him the wrong message in trying to stand your ground. (He may take that as you choosing the friend over him.) The only things I would suggest would be to first, talk openly and honestly with your boyfriend to try and get at his true feelings. Then, you'll have to decide if there's any compromise to be made. My biggest worry would be if this was a way for him to try and assert control over you.