Should we interveen?
By sam305
@sam305 (74)
February 21, 2008 9:56am CST
My sister never really had a good role model as her real mum was an alcholic. My mum always tried to help her even adopted her but she still lived with her biological mom because she would let her do what she wanted. However her mom died when she was fourteen but didn't return to us until she was 18. Now she has a daughter of her own and i no it's horrible to say but she doesn't look after her very well. My neice is nearly three and my sister leaves her crying in her cot until 12 miday. Even though shes been awake since 9 am. While my sister goes downstairs watches tv and smokes. When she does eventuallt get my neice up although my neice has already missed one meal of the day all she gives her is biscuits. There is never any proper food in the house or even the basics like bread and milk. All my neice gets fed on all day is biscuits until her dad gets home and they will usually give her a take away. With me having my own daughter i find this hard to understand as i try to make sure she has fruit and veg everyday and try not to give her many sweets. And would never leave her to cry for that lOng. My mum is considering trying to get my neice to stay with us for a while and wants to suggest to my sister that she goes to a couple of parenting clsses. We don't want to take my neice away from her but also don't want my neice to be put through this anymore. I think my sister can't be bothered with her, but now she's trying for another child even though she can't cope with the first and hasn't finacially able to have another.
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2 responses
@madlees (1377)
• India
22 Feb 08
What you had said is right Sam, she is not a baby. If she is 25 she has to learn to live with it. She has married and has a child on her own. Nobody forced her to do that. She has been following her mother's footsteps I think.
You can do something for the baby. You can at least take her over and look after her. I think your sister will be very happy to let you do that. You have to convince her to take the parenting classes if she will not learn it otherwise.
I have never been able to attend any parenting classes but still we learn being mothers. You have to teach her someway or the other. Ask your mother to do it. There is no point in your sister getting another baby when she is not able to look after the first one at all. Just biscuits the whole day!!! OMG what will happen to the baby? Poor thing...
@sam305 (74)
•
22 Feb 08
I can't really take her child of her, as i have my own to look after and thats hard enough and considering the two are the same sort of age i would find it hard to cope with two on my own. We don't want to take my neice away from her just to help out if she will except our help. Maybe she just doesn't have the mothering instinct that i have or my mum. I admit it is hard at times but to me your child comes first not something you want to watch on tv or because you can't be bothered to cook. Even when im ill myself i still have to take care of her cause if i don't who will. I have started having her one day a week as thats all my sister will let me, so when she is here i make sure she's fed properly i don't actually like biscuits myself so we don't actually have them in our house but when my neice is here or at my mums she asks for an apple cause she knows biscuits are off the menu. She has already had one social services visit and im just afraid that if she doesn't get help my neice will be taken into care and thats the worst thing that could happen as it would destroy my sister as i know she loves her even if she can't cope. I have never been to parenting classes either but i had a great teacher through my life my own mum so i don't think i need them but if i needed help i would ask for it no shame in that.
@madlees (1377)
• India
22 Feb 08
Sam,
I am sorry, I hurt you. It is because your sister was not looking after your niece and you were worried. That made me write to you. But she should know that she has had one visit from the socila service people and the next visit they'll take the baby with them. If she doesn't take help now then when will she take. why don't you try scaring her up a bit? Will it work?
@sam305 (74)
•
21 Feb 08
She is 25, so i think the whole her being a child herself can be thrown out the window. I just dont get it she is six years older than me but i can cope alot better, she gets the same amount of support offered to her as i do from my family as there is loads of us, so i don't see if she can't cope why she doesn't just ask for help theres no shame in that iv done it plenty of times as i do find it hard juggling college and looking after a young child.
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