Why Can't I Get Pregnant Darn It!!! Any Sugesstions? (Be Nice LOL...)

Pregnant Belly - Someone's pregnant belly...not mine...lol...
Australia
February 21, 2008 4:22pm CST
I'm 29 and I will turn 30 in October. I got married in April of 2008 and I had been on birth control for almost a month when I did. I got off of the birth control around June or July of 2008, in hopes that I would get pregnant. I'm still not pregnant!!! I would really like to get pregnant before 35, heck before 31 because I would like to have at least two. My GYN that had checked me out when I went in for my birth control said everything looked great. I went for another check up a little less than a year ago and she said the same thing. She suggested a few things for my husband and I to do and we have slacked off a bit in carrying those things out but this passed month we kept to them. I hope it works LOL...Do you guys have any suggestions because I really would like to get pregnant and it's just not happening? Also, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder. For the most part they are under control because I am on an anti-depressant that pregnant women can be on. However, I am really nervous that pregnancy will be hard on me and so that makes me a littl scared. However, I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. What do you all think in regards to this? I would really appreciate your suggestions, experiences and exc...
6 people like this
28 responses
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
21 Feb 08
Ok, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that its because you're living in the future ... 2008 just started! Sorry, couldn't help being silly. :) I don't have an answer for you as there could be dozens of reasons, or no real reason at all except its just not your time. Has your husband been checked? Good luck!
3 people like this
• Australia
21 Feb 08
LOL...I'm retarded...Sorry, I meant 2006. Did you ever have one of those days? ;-P Thanks, no he hasn't been checked yet but if it doesn't happen soon, he may just have to...
2 people like this
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
21 Feb 08
Since its been almost two years, I think its time for him to get looked at too. Could be something very simple. And yes, I've had those kind of days and no, you're not retarded.
3 people like this
• Australia
4 Mar 08
Thanks! Yeah, I really think that he may have to get checked...
@dodoguy (1292)
• Australia
22 Feb 08
Hi SassyKittyKat, Both you & hubby should go for a naked frolic down the beach, rub olive oil all over each and do wicked things that couldn't be shown on daytime TV. It might not get you pregnant - but it'd be fun!
• Australia
22 Feb 08
I know, I know, I asked for that one but hey, you never know, that sounds like fun! Thanks for the suggestion ;-P
1 person likes this
@rinaaus (1201)
• Australia
22 Feb 08
during process of making baby, put one pillow under your back (it's a tricky treat) i don't know but it works for me... try it no harm.. if you have good result ... happy for you. Good luck.
2 people like this
• Australia
22 Feb 08
Hmmm...interesting! I will defintely have to try this one. Hey, it couldn't hurt or do any harm...Thanks!
9 Apr 08
About putting a pillow under your back, is that during?? Sorry but Im also wanting to get pregnent and when I strolled along this discussion I thought the tips would be good. Thank you x
• United States
21 Feb 08
Well if you are ovulating and having regular periods, I would suggest getting him checked to make sure his sperm count is up to par. they have ovulating test at the Dollar store. Go get some of those and try them out this next month. I also heard that sperm are more active in the morning so try a quickie before he goes to work. Don't forget to prop your hips up aftewards for about 10 minutes so those little guys can get a sense in which direction to go. Cut back on the caffine products too.Wouldn't hurt to start taking prenatals if you aren't. And try not to stress out. It will happen, Hope to hear you are preggo soon.
2 people like this
@a1intnet (248)
• Mauritius
22 Feb 08
Sassy when I started reading your post I had to check that you weren't my closest friend disguising herself on mylot - lol! You sound just like she did a year ago - word for word!!! She tried everything - from taking her temperature during ovulation to lying with her legs up against the wall for half an hour afterwards :-) My advice was always: Stop thinking about it!!! Just have fun and relax and it will happen when it is meant to. I know it's tough when it's all you want in life but sometimes these things only happen when we forget about them. Good luck!! I hope it happens soon.
2 people like this
• Australia
22 Feb 08
LOL...Too funny! Yeah, I know what you mean but it's hard and there have been plenty of times when I did say to hell with it but that hasn't gotten me pregnant yet LOL...Thanks though!
22 Feb 08
has your husband been checked out?
2 people like this
• Australia
22 Feb 08
No but I think he really needs to be, just in case...
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
22 Feb 08
I would suggest eating a healthy diet - heavy on the vegetable that contain folate, take prenatal vitamins, exercise, get plenty of liquids, and drink the Womens Tea w/rosehips (you should be able to get this in any store, I know that whole foods carries it and it is available online). When I was doing all that (not to get pregnant, for health reasons) I got pregnant LOL The Dr said it was just the right combination of things.
1 person likes this
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
22 Feb 08
Oh, I will be 30 in October as well. My hubby isn't ready for kids (I have a 9yr old from a prior marriage) and he is running out of time. I don't even want to be more than 33 and pregnant.
1 person likes this
• Australia
22 Feb 08
That's what I'm saying :-P
• Australia
22 Feb 08
Wow, I have to try some of your suggestions. I know I don't exercise enough. I need to work on that. I will have to look into what vegatbles contain folate and try them. As for the Tea however, tea makes me sick. I hate the taste, otherwise I would seriously consider that one. Thanks for your suggestions. These are all great suggestions and I'm really going to use them. Thanks all!
@TiffanieC (827)
• United States
5 Apr 08
When your Dr said everything looks good... what did this Dr check? Do you know if you are ovulating for sure? I would suggest getting Taking Charge of Your Fertility and reading it and doing FAM and charting your cycles for a while. Also I would suggest sending hubby for a semen analysis (I wish we had done that sooner). Has your Dr checked your hormones, done ultrasounds and such? I knew that I had PCOS but recently my cycles got whacky (thank God I was charting) and pain increased and I told my dr that I thought I have endometriosis. She didn't take me seriously. I decided to get a second opinion at the cleveland clinic and I was scheduled for a laparoscopy. During the lap I was found not only to have endometriosis but also adenomyosis and some cysts on my fallopian tubes. While he was in there he flushed out my tubes but only one spilled so I may or may not also have a blocked tube. This on top of hubbys infertility of course has made things difficult and we are looking into AI with donor sperm. We are also looking into adoption. I know you have pretty much ruled out adoption but so did we until I picked up a book called The Complete Adoption Book/Guide or something like that (sorry I can't remember the exact name but it's a huge book and really super helpful!!). I too am 29 and my husband is 54. I wish you luck.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr 08
I'm sorry, that must be terribly difficult. Have you tried other things for your anxiety like meditation, biofeedback, vitamins and such? I would still suggest getting the book I suggested because charting is not only for when you are TTC but also to help you avoid and/or just plain get to know your body better... then, when you are ready again you will know so much more about your body! Also, maybe adoption really would be a better option for you? There are more options with adoption then one might think... check out the adoption book too. I hope you heal soon and are able to move past this bump in the road. Also, I know it may sound silly but it might also help to read positive self help books. I'm sure you have heard of A New Earth... that's a really good one but if you haven't already read at least a few self-improvement books then it might be hard to get through. A really good and easy book to get through that's super enlightening is The Four Agreements. I don't know if you are spiritual at all but if so the new book by Joel Osteen is really good as well. I wish you health and happiness.
1 person likes this
• Australia
5 Apr 08
Well, my husband and I decided to put off getting pregnant for an indefinite time just recently because I have Generelized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder and I had a really bad episode about a couple of weeks ago and they had to change my medicine back to the one that is not safe for pregnant women. So, I think it's best that maybe we should not think about having kids right now and although this upsets me, right now there is nothing I can do about it.
• Australia
5 Apr 08
Thanks, my husband bought me two self help books to read on combating anxiety and panic attacks. I have tried St. John's Wart and it helped for a while but then I had a ste back. Meditation helps sometimes but when I'm going through one of my major panic attacks, it doesn't work. I'm going to see a counselor on the 14th and hopefully she will be able to help a bit as well. My husband said he would not mind not having kids, he also said he wouldn't mind having kids either but he likes it just being the two of us as well. So, that comforts me somewhat. However, I am still holding out the hope that someday I will be able to get pass these disorders and have a family.
• United States
24 Feb 08
Hello :-) I would get a second opinion or ask to be referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. There are things they can check and medications to help you maybe ovulate better. Also, I recently found a great online resource. Do a search online for the American Pregnancy Association .org and sign up for the forums. There are a lot of women going through your same situation and I have found it to be a wonderful source of support and comfort.
• United States
24 Feb 08
You're Welcome!! Feel free to email me anytime!
• Australia
24 Feb 08
Oh, ok, thanks! I will definitely do that. Thank you so much!
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
22 Feb 08
Awww I have been trying to get pregnant for 3-4 years now and no such luck. I have a 5 yr old son and have been wanting a girl for the longest time. You have done a lot more than I have done and may try out the suggestions you have made as well as the others that have posted on your page. Just a thought, has your husband been checked? My husband has recently been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and I think it has had a great affect on me not getting pregnant. I bet when you stop worrying about it, it will happen. Well that's what everyone tells me. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
22 Feb 08
I will love him just the same :)
1 person likes this
• Australia
22 Feb 08
Cool! Boys are cute too. I want a girl though but I would like a boy too...
• Australia
22 Feb 08
I feel for you, I do! I hope you get pregnant soon and have your girl! What will you do if it's another boy however? ;-P
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 08
My wife couldn't seem to get pregnant and we went thru all the test and we ended up having to have (I'll keep it clean) my stuff helped along the way. Stangely, after the frist child was born it was just over a year when my wife found herself pg again which was a total shock as we didn't think we could do it on our own, the 3rd one again caught us out(no regrets). I have no ideas how number 2 and 3 came along as we tried everything(naturally) we could to get pregnant.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 08
My wifes doctor did the procedure, but, (and I am not been crude here) I have heard one can do the same with a turkey baster.
• Australia
22 Feb 08
Wow...I never thought about that. We definitely may have to give that a try. Thanks for the suggestion!
• Australia
22 Feb 08
ouch!!! lol...
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
6 Apr 08
hello, i am not yet at the point of planning to have a baby yet but we're talking about it. anyway, not sure if someone had mentioned this yet to not (i dont want to read lots of post, sorry im sleepy) but to most cases i have heard and know of, it is mostly because of the stress level. i think you worry too much and stressed yourself for not having a baby yet. most people who have the same thoughts and feelings like you do are advice to take a rest, relax and just make love for the purpose of making love and not solely for making a baby. sorry i am not expert but i have known at least 4 person (friends/relatives) who have the same dilemma and finally have a baby after following such advice. often times our body if it's not relax seems to do the opposite of what we desire. if both of you guys are healthy and there is no problem producing a baby, then it is mostly the stress level. please dont get me wrong, i just assume that this might be the biggest case coz you said you are really nervous of not being pregnant and the fact that you are too cautious of not being pregnant before you turn 35. stress can cause so many negativity in life and it is not healthy for you and for your soon baby. i am in the same position and my husband is training me to handle stress and anxiety well. we do talk about it and he tries to relieve all my fears and encourage me to express my self more so it can help me when we are ready to have our baby. also, dont let the baby thing be the only reason why you guys make love, make it a moment of intimacy and being ONE. who knows maybe one of those time you can finally have it. anyway, i really wish you guys the best. i know how tense it is and i know how happy you'll gonna be ones you see the POSITIVE sign on it. takecare and goodnight!
• Australia
6 Apr 08
Thanks! However, my husband and I have decided to put off getting pregnant for a while because I have Panic Disorder and I just had a major episode recently and I just feel like right now I can't handle pregnancy. Hopefully someday I will be able to combat it but until then we have decided to just wait on it. Thanks again though!
• Australia
6 Apr 08
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it :-)
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
6 Apr 08
hi, you're very much welcome! sorry to hear the story bout your panic disorder, i feel you are doing the right thing of postponing the baby coz it is not healthy for you and your baby. dont worry, when it happens you will be the happiest person the world, just wait and be patient. you're not alone, i am in the same position just different situation though. i wish you both the best! takecare!
1 person likes this
@ruthinian (2309)
• United States
22 Feb 08
I just got married and raising a 6 yr old autistic step-son gives me the creeps. But I am already 42 years old and never had a child of my own. I do want to have one someday. I wish I know what to tell you and give you suggestions. I guess the best I could do is to give you the suggestions given to me. It's not working for me yet, but it might with you. RELAX... your anxiety and desire is your psychological disadvantage. Forget about having a baby and enjoy your intimate moments with husband. Sometimes when we give up on something... that's the time that we get it.
1 person likes this
• Australia
22 Feb 08
Wow, that's amazing and I admire you for helping to raise him the way you are. It's not easy. That's great though that you are doing it... I know you're right about just forgetting about it and letting it happen and I have tried this for a while and it was not very successful but maybe I need to try harder :-P I hope all the best for you and I hope soon we both will find ourselves pregnant :-)
@ruthinian (2309)
• United States
22 Feb 08
Thanks too. Well, it worked with my friend who is the same age as I am. For so many years she hoped and tried and tried harder. She was so desperate. Then she got tired and stopped hoping. Then the miracle happened. Now the baby girl is already 3 years old and very smart. Miracles do happen... just have faith and believe. I will pray for you.
• United States
20 Apr 08
SassyKittyKat: I also have a panic disorder and was on medication for YEARS and I am pregnant now and not on anything. If you want to talk about anything, I'd be happy to :) I know how scary the aspect of being pregnant and having a panic disorder and anxiety attacks can be.... But I think it's great that you and your husband decided to wait if that's what you both feel.
1 person likes this
• Australia
20 Apr 08
How are you doing it? I don't think I can do it without medication if I did decide to get pregnant. Especially after this last episode that I had. How are you dealing with the disorder now that you're pregnant?
• United States
25 Apr 08
Well first off, I could NOT stop my medication suddenly-my body would have gone though so much stress and panic and withdrawal that I'd have wound up in a hospital (literally). My life revolved around taking medication so I wouldn't wind up in the hospital or drink myself into calmness. For me, in the end, it had everything to do with (and I don't know how this will sound to you but it's absolutely true) it had everything to do with handing it over to God and then taking the proper steps by being taken care of by doctors. They weaned me off of the medication I was on (with cognitive behavioral therapy) by lessening the milligrams weekly, It took about 2 1/2 months to wean all the way. That's a really short version of the story. Now, I am pregnant (AHHH!!!!) but I'm definitely not panic and anxiety free by any means.....but it's nothing like it was before and alot of that had to do with FEELING so hopeless and dependant on things to keep me calm.....and feeling like I was going to freak out at any second. There are still things I do to keep myself calm and as relaxed as possible, like staying at home and not going out when I'm feeling overly sensitive and breathing techniques that I learned in therapy and praying a ton (which is what does make the biggest difference). I'll also drink a TON of water and that really does m,ake a difference in your body. And there are other things, but I'm running out of time! LOL! I would definitely talk more about it if you want though!
• United States
21 Feb 08
It can take your body 1-3 years to get back to normal after using birth control. You have been tested to make sure your ok. Have you had your hubby tested? You never know he might have a low count and thats why you cant get pregnant. Also you could try one of those tests that tell you when your ovulating. Thats the best way to know when your ready to concieve. Best of luck to you and I hope you get a baby.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Feb 08
Your welcome. It wont be so bad for him to be tested. Atleast youll know what to do next as far as if hes ok and you to that you can have a baby naturaly or you might have to turn to fertility or even adoption.
• Australia
22 Feb 08
Yes, I have been tested but it was like a year ago. So, I'm thinking maybe I need to be tested again. The hubby has never been tested but he really needs to be, just in case. He's not too thrilled about it though LOL...We are christians and we are not too happy about the means in which we have to go about doing it...LOL... I have one of the test, I need to actually use it! Thanks for your suggestions. I really appreciate them...
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
19 Mar 08
Some of it could be your nerves/feelings (understandable) but it can cause a type of stress for the rest of the body. Probably not as helpful, but change your mindset and outlook on it. Relax a bit and try things naturally. Health and nutrition wise you could increase your intake of folic acid and other B complex vitamins. Your husband should focus on multiple vitamins (A, C and E).
1 person likes this
• Australia
20 Mar 08
Oh ok, cool thanks!
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
6 Apr 08
I've found that prayer often helps in these things, and in all the things that you're concerned about here.
1 person likes this
• Australia
7 Apr 08
Thanks!
• United States
15 Mar 08
The problem could very well be your husbands sperm count,he should be checked if not, maybe bad timing?have you thought of fertility treatments?i know how you feel but i have turner syndrome so i will never be pregnant without an egg donar,Good luck to you i hope you get your baby soon!
1 person likes this
• Australia
17 Mar 08
Thanks! Honestly, the last few days my panic and generalized anxiety disorder have been pretty bad and so, pregnancy has not been looking to enticing right now lol...
@ruthinian (2309)
• United States
7 Apr 08
I responded to this post more than a month ago. And gave you some advise on your problem. I am responding here again... TO GIVE YOU HOPE. I am 43 years old (just turned 43 last month) and right now I am pregnant. I just found it out yesterday I took the pregnancy test (3x) and all the tests proved positive. I had a previous post during my first few days here in myLot regarding this... if a 42 years old woman should get pregnant or not... and I received a lot of responses. I was not really expecting this... as I have told you, you better not think about it anymore and just enjoy your intimacy with your husband. So I used my own advise. Now I am pregnant. I know you will have your time. Just keep the faith.
1 person likes this
19 Mar 08
Stressing about it really wont help get you pregnant, not the best advice I know - I am in the same boat and for years charted temperatures and cycles and all sorts. I have stopeed all that now! I really beleive it will happen when the time is right. My husband and I are currently going through fertility treatments and are looking into Clomid first. I think it is really important to get the fertility tests done for both you and your partner, once they find the problem then they can fix it! Good luck!!
• Australia
20 Mar 08
You're probably right...