In laws always asking to boorow money. I'm sick of it

@cmofi123 (344)
United States
February 22, 2008 12:07pm CST
I been living with my husband for 2 years and we a newborn baby.Everyone knows that with a baby at home, you waste a lot of money. Well my baby is not the concern, my concern is my In-laws. Since Dec 07, they being asking money (to my husband) so they can pay their house rent. I wasn't even working at that time. My hubby gave me a whole story on how low his family was on money blah blah blah. On Jan 08, Feb 08, they have asked for money too. I'm sorry I know people have problems with money ONCE IN A WHILE, but they have to understand that we a kid, we have rent, bills to pay also. Have anyone gone through this and it might sound immature, but how did you solve this? I tried talking to his mom gave her a whole speech on saving money, I forbidden my hubby to lend money to his sister. I'm out of ideas, my last resource is to leave this men.
5 people like this
10 responses
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
22 Feb 08
I'm sure that's very frustrating for you. When you and your husband are working hard to keep your own finances in order and you seem somone older (and supposed to be wiser) always needing extra money. Have they had any unexpected setbacks? Like being laid off or an illness? Maybe some unexpected bills - car repairs or something? I know that sometimes it takes a while to get back on your feet after that, but they do need to know that you can't always be there to help them out. They do need to start to help themselves. Best of luck to you!
1 person likes this
@cmofi123 (344)
• United States
22 Feb 08
His mother owns a day care. She had a surgery (had a tumor on her head) the daughter took over the day care. Aside of that she has a husband that works and 2 of her sons work and rents one of the rooms. Here is the problem: this people her daughter helps out in the day care (she has a really nice cherokee Jeep) that she has to pay every month for. If they have $500.00 they don't go wasted. In November her daughter trew a huge b-day party for her son. I mean we are talking about 150 guest. Why they get to have all this luxury, buy cars have a great parties BUT THEY DON'T HAVE MONEY TO PAY RENT OR BILLS. I can understand the sick part but this is outrageous.
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
24 Feb 08
I see your point and totally understand your frustrations. It seems like their just moochin' off of your generosity. Looks like you are right in feeling it's time to cut them loose.
@drakesuyat (1063)
• Philippines
23 Feb 08
o my goodness!! you guys need a real heart to heart talk. you must let him realize that first: you have a family of your own and it should be his priority. second: when someone borrows money, he must learn to say NO sometimes. because if he always lend them everytime they ask, the tendency is, they'll get used to it and its really a bad habit. im sure its not bad to give sometimes but not all the time.
@cmofi123 (344)
• United States
20 Jan 09
I understand the issue were you said, that your father worked really hard to get you into school. But in my opinion, that is his duty as a FATHER. Now think about this. 1. Who is going to pay you back all the money that you are sending? Is the money that you are sending a completely loss? What is your father doing right now to repay part of the money? Why isn't your brother sending anything? Is it you alone, who is paying the money? Why do you have to pay for it? As for your wife, she has every right to get mad. It takes time to earn money and to save it oh my God, it takes forever. You should really sit and analyze this situation. You are in a middle of a hard situation but think about it, you have kids and with kids you got to have food for today, tomorrow and the beyond the future. You can starve, but you do not want to see your children starve.
@kiran1978 (4137)
• Australia
23 Feb 08
Gee that is pretty bad, I know your circumastances. I am about to have a baby and it is extremely hard just trying to cope financially with new baby, plus this is my third child. I have not had my inlaws borrow off me, but I have my partner that keeps quitting work and borrowing off me. I am not quite sure how you can solve this as I keep giving in to my partner, lending him money when I am broke. My mums advice to me is "tough love" maybe that is what you can apply to your situation too. The only way they are going to learn and stand on there own two feet is by having to support themselves, say no from now on. Then they will have to find another source of income. I don't think you should leave your hubby, it is hard, saying no sometimes, especially to your family.
@sid556 (30997)
• United States
23 Feb 08
That's messed up. You just had a child. They should not be borrowing money from you. so tell me...do they pay you back ever?
• Philippines
23 Feb 08
You should tell your husband that givcing the in-laws money is out of your budget.The in-laws should work and not be dependent on you.
• United States
23 Feb 08
I just went though this with my in-laws about a month ago. My husband was finally the one to say enough is enough. He told them that we were tired of being there door stop. He no longer wanted to talk to them until they could call and say they were stable, Had their own house/aparment, and a steady job. He told them that we did not want our kids to grow up thinking it was ok to have evey do evrything for them. It was very hard for him to do but we could not take it anymore it got to the point that we did not want to answer when we show their number on the caller ID. I was so proud of my hubby.
@cricket1 (487)
• United States
23 Feb 08
I know what you mean. People used to always be borrowing from me. I had it because I'm a tightwad and try to hang on to my money for things I need or emergencies. The people borrowing from me had more than I did. I got tired of it and what I did was just say I don't have it. I didn't care if they knew better or not, it worked, people need to learn to take care of their money. Now the only time I loan money is to people who most of the time don't need it. These people hate to ask for it and you know they will pay back. Anyone may need to borrow sometimes but if its all the time, they have a problem and need to work it out. Handing them money anytime they ask is not helping them, its just making it worse. If they are blowing money on stuff and not paying bills it's because it's easier to get people to loan money for bills than it is to get money to go shopping at wal mart.
• United States
23 Feb 08
I also agree that about your frustration. That would be very annoying to go through. If they feel like they cant pay their bills need they need to file for some sort of assistance.
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
22 Feb 08
well i dont see how you didnt see these grubby in laws in the first place , after the first borrow i wouldnt have let them borrow anymore until they paid it back , they think they can get over on you both in which they are cause they borrowed several times , if your husband is making BS excuses than yeah bounce or tell him to get his balls up and tell his family off that they need to stop
• United States
22 Feb 08
Honey, I can definetley relate to your situation. My boyfriends family bums us like no other. The only time they EVER call is Wednesday cause thats pay day and it never fails EVERY SINGLE week they have a bill they can't pay. There income in a months time is more then ours yet in the two years Ive known the family I have noticed that every time they have money they want to run to Walmart. I got fed up with it to the point that right after Christmas I told my boyfriend if he was going to support his entire family he could move back in with them. Since then, the only money dished out has benn $50 one time to his little 13 year old brother and when his mother calls wanting money he tells her he doesn't have it.