lovers can never be friends

@shynie (556)
Philippines
February 23, 2008 10:53pm CST
Before my boyfriend and I get into a relationship, we became best of friends. He has been there for me for 6 years. We share common interest. We indulge in the same hobbies, ideas and goals in life. But when I got pregnant, he broke up with me. I was shocked. I thought he was genuine. But as I see he was one of those coward guys that's scared of the responsibilities of his actions. I felt bad to think that I did not only loose a lover, but I lost one friend too. I hope he wakes up one day and realize that things are meant to happen. We just need to be open to trials life has to offer.
4 people like this
20 responses
@am_mad (57)
• Egypt
24 Feb 08
friends may be lovers but lover will not be friends naymore if they broke up with eachother as lovers, i think you don't need to get pregnant in these days also he is not lucky to live with you any more, but anyhow, god with you in your life for your baby
1 person likes this
@nomoso (650)
• India
24 Feb 08
guys use "friendship" for getting into love with a gal... but a gal uses the same "friendship" to end a love relationship with a guy..
1 person likes this
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
That's unmanly indeed, he should've stood up for you and your child. I hope he realizes the consequences of his actions, maybe a little explanation could make a difference. There are times that I also ended up with losing both a friend and a partner, but each and everyone of them have different reasons why we chose not to continue and maintain the relationship we had. I always believe that some are still bitter for what had happened, as that's what I also feel at times but life has to move on for me..
@shynie (556)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
I tried everything for us to be ok. I fight for that love we once had. But maybe there will always be a reason for everything. And I have to move on. I dont think I could ever be friends with him for what he did. But I know we never know what the future holds. I just hope for things to be ok.. Maybe one day I could forgive him though.. maybe
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
24 Feb 08
I am so sorry that happened to you. Lets hope that he does wake up. My daughters dad left me when he first found I was pregnant and I refused an abortion. He surprised me by showing up unexpectedly one nite with a change of heart. He said he was just overwhelmed and scared and needed to think. lets hope that is the case with your boyfriend. Kids need their dads and not just for financial support.
@shynie (556)
• Philippines
25 Feb 08
I am 8 months expecting now. I was happy I never thought about abortion. Now I know this baby will be my inspiration. Well, I am not closing my doors to him because he is still the father of my child. I just hope someday he will realize what he has done. For now, I know I should just move on. Thank you
@manya_pearl (1901)
• Singapore
24 Feb 08
I dont think lovers can never be friends. I and my ex-b we dont have prob since we have our own business. We still contact each other as friends.
@shynie (556)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
Good thing for you. I hope someday I could forgive him and be able to look at him the way I look at him before. Thanx
@jaredlp (418)
• United States
24 Feb 08
why would you want to... he has shown who he really is now. when things get tough he going to cut and run.
@whyrm88 (12)
• Hungary
24 Feb 08
Hello! Thats horrible. Im so sorry to happened that with you. I cant understand guys like that. Its a shame!! Thye see this as a responsibility or as a problem but i think its pne of the most beautiful thing of life ever. 2 years ago my girlfrined got pregnant too. I didnt know how to react because she was 17. I always would like to be a father but i know that its really gard a young mothers life. I tried to encourage her i said i will be her and we could solve everything together. She made her decision. She go on an abortion. I was sad but i cant blame her. She has a whole life to wait on her before she give lifefor a baby.
• Hungary
24 Feb 08
It was the hardest thing in my life to see my love in the hospital. She was so vulnerable and defensless. I felt sorrow for her cos i knew this will escort her on her whole life. I was by her side to the end and after it. I tried to help her as much as i could. I dont know how could a man just leave her love in such a situation... Its disgusting. This is the cruelest thing i could imagine could happen with a girl/woman. I hope you are fine and you and your baby are healthy and happy now (wow how many "and"... :-S). I wish you to find real love. Whyrm
@plumwish07 (4057)
• Indonesia
25 Feb 08
i am sorry to hear whats happened with you my dear friend. but i agree with your opinion. i know some people still able to make up with their ex-boyfriend as their best friend but the total is not too many. most of them could not be best friend each other. i also don't think so that i would be best friend with my ex-boyfriend. he was nice and sincerely when we were best friend but when we were couple, he little bit different. and nowadays i realized that he can't be with me. he doesn't deserve to live with me. i am feeling sad but this matter. however i still loving him no matter how. but to be together in rest my life, i really getting doubt on it :(
@subha12 (18441)
• India
26 Feb 08
hmmm.. its the situation with many. But here I guess that the loss is not only yours, he has lost a good friend and lover.But what can be said to this situation? he was just not able to handle the responsibility. hope in future it never happens with you.
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
24 Feb 08
I've had ex-lovers that remained my friends. I even remained friends with a guy who cheated on me, because in the end he had some very good reasons, and I cared more about him as a friend than I did about the relationship his cheating destroyed. I can see how your situation is different, though. There's a difference between just breaking up with someone and breaking up with your pregnant girlfriend. It would be pretty much impossible to be friends after that, at least unless he was willing to take some amount of parental responsibility.
@shynie (556)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
Yes, I dont think the pain will never go away. And I don't think I could find anymore reason to be okay with him.
1 person likes this
@ayou82 (3450)
• Philippines
25 Feb 08
Lovers Can be friends.. sometimes they end up being the best friends. In some relationships that ends because they have some misunderstanding with ones attitude they still become friends.
@goldwin65 (935)
• Malaysia
26 Feb 08
6 years and end up nothing? He is a real jerk if he doesn't dare to face the reality of life and accept his responsibility. All I can say right now is that he didn't love you or perhaps just puppy love. Don't ever dream of coming back to him even if he beg you. Look for a nice and resposible gentlemen out there. Mr. Right is out there waiting for you.
• Australia
24 Feb 08
That's awful! What a jerk! Trust me, years down the line, you are going to look back at this and be glad you didn't wind up with the jerk because you will be with a man who truly is genuine and treats you the way you treat someone when you love them. However, you need to look for signs because there are always signs of this sort of thing. However, sometimes when we care for someone, we wear blinders and so therefor we don't see the bad things. Either that or we tend to just ignore them. Just be careful and look for them. Plus, on another note, sue his butt for child support. It will deserve him right pfff...
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Feb 08
If he really loved you and liked you. then he should have stepped up to the plate and said he was thrilled to be a father but evidently something was missing in him. He wanted the fun of creatingwithout the responsiblity that comes with having a family Maybe in a way you were lucky to find out what he was lacking before you had your baby since I doubt if he would have been an a one father thats too bad. I am sorry for you but bet uyou will find Mr right pretty soon.
@merjun (158)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
Lovers can be Friends and Friends can be Lovers. this always depend on both sides. but its a good thing for you that your friend is not your real friend nor a good lover.
• Guam
24 Feb 08
hmmm.. maybe, but then, all my ex-BFs are still my friends
@gandatwo (602)
• Australia
24 Feb 08
One door closes,another door opens shynie,one day you will understand,and I do hope you will be able to laugh about this experience a little.you are correct about being open to lifes trials,this in itself shows maturity. All the best to you.
@wjolene (265)
• Malaysia
24 Feb 08
i treated my ex(s) as enermies in a short period and back to friends again
@shypoet80 (112)
• United States
24 Feb 08
Some men...or should I say boys, are just to stupid to deal with real life. I am sorry hun *hugs* I know one of thse types too. 6 years of friendship down the bloody drain
@nomoso (650)
• India
24 Feb 08
most of the lovers i have seen were friends once and some they managed to get into relationship...so why can't a friend be your lover.Most of them want their spouse or lover to be their friend...it helps in understanding a lover more as a friend..
@ditsi85 (30)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
for me lovers can be frends if u break up poperly or talk before u decide not to see each other u can still be friends..me and my ex where still be friends we still chat and txt each other and cre for each other.