How do you keep your relationship alive?

@kiran1978 (4134)
Australia
February 24, 2008 7:08am CST
In relationships, after being with someone for a few years or so or even less, things can become a bit stagnant. You start to get caught up in routine and day to day living and often forget to enjoy each others company. Slowly the relationship can become very boring. I am not saying this is what happens in every relationship, please don't take me the wrong way. Just saying some of experiences I have had in past. Was wondering what you or your partner/spouse does in your relationship to help keep the sparks flowing ?
2 people like this
13 responses
@mindrich (183)
• Philippines
25 Feb 08
For me relationship is a time value to be nurtured. It is just like a garden that needs sufficient care that makes the garden grow lively. Relationship is a garden in our life. It gives us a happy life of every moment if we give a value time to nurture and make the relationship grow naturally. Both of you are responsible for it... Not to the extent I'm promoting the book I highly recommended for my friends. But it really helps me personally. Please find yourself to secure the book that would guide you to good relationship by balancing your life. The book is "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People"
1 person likes this
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
25 Feb 08
Thanks for your opinions on relationship. It definately is like a garden and I think that both people need to work on that garden, it is hard when one person is always picking out all the weeds whilst the other one just kicks back and watches, lol. That is some of the expereinces I have had. Unfortunately i have had some bad weeds, that physically abuse me. I will look into that book. Thanks again, :))
• United States
24 Feb 08
Well right now I'm not maintaining a realationship and lord knows that I have so much going on that I'm not forsure if I want one either. But enough of that ramble. I think Communication is a big key. I think dates help, going new places, trying to compliment each other everyday. Its so important. Of course I was never perfect at these things, but those are some things I've learned from my past realationships
1 person likes this
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
25 Feb 08
You are right communication is a big thing, if you can talk about anything, then you can resolve anything. Going new places also would help keep the relationship exciting. Thanks for your wise words. :))
@slaveeva (213)
• United States
24 Feb 08
It sounds stupid, but it is true. You only get bored, because you are boring. So when I start feeling the relationship rud away, (which happens at least every 4-5 years), I change myself. Present my partner with a new me so to speak. Find new interests,change my appearance, or deepen something old.
1 person likes this
@etavasi (749)
• Malaysia
24 Feb 08
I think you should need to know more about your partner. What i means is what your patner favourite. If your partner like to going out, then always bring them go out to watch movie, eat together. Always consider about what your partner don't like do.
1 person likes this
@NCgirl (487)
• Philippines
24 Feb 08
Yeah, that could happen to some relationship, because they caught up doing the same thing everyday, I agree it'll be boring for me too. In my case, my husband and I just do whatever we enjoy doing together, we love watching movies while eating some fries--this is our midnight thing on his off. Sometimes we just enjoy driving around and do household chores. For me it's all about us two being bestfriends than lover, friendship makes up a good partnership/relationship :)
1 person likes this
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
25 Feb 08
Hi NCgirl, thanks for your response. I agree with you it is so important to be best friends with your partner. That is the key to success. Watching movies together is great, I love that too. Have a great day :))
• United States
24 Feb 08
Well I have been with my sigificant other for nine years. When we met our relationship started out as communicating. Some start out with entercourse. So I knew that communication was his strongest ability. So when i want to talk, he listens and responds because it is how we started. The way you start a relationship should be the same all the way through. If it is based on entercourse, then yes there will be issues along the way, and you will start to complain about something he never gave in the beginning. There are three things that keeps us strong Communication, dates and lots and lots of entercourse! Yes we make dates and we go out. Movies, comedy shows, casino, restaraunts, bowling, all kinds of stuff, get drunk together and pass out. Alot of times we don't even have entercourse just hold each other and go to sleep. So once you determine how is started you can predict how it will end. If u looking for constant romance, see how well he commumicates
1 person likes this
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
25 Feb 08
Thanks for your response. SOunds like a great realtionship with good communication and lot of dates. That would definately keep the relationship alive, going out to movies, shows, restaurants and stuff. Getting drunk together can also be fun, good to have a laugh at each other. :))
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
25 Feb 08
Well, first of all, we are completelt honest with each other wether it hurts feelings or not. Honesty builds trust. But we have been married for 13 years so to keep things alive we compliment and flirt with each other A LOT. We also make sure that we have time alone together to go do something unusual and fun atleast once a week. Relationships are work but for me, it's worth it.
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
25 Feb 08
Sounds like you have an alive and kicking relationship, I like it. Flirting with each other after 13 years, that would be great. I think it is great that you do unusual and fun things once a week. Can you give me some ideas on the unusual and fun things that you have done lately, always up for new experiences. :))
• United States
30 Dec 08
I am sorry that it took me so long to get back here. I had no idea that you had given me best response. Thank you for that! You asked for a few of our unusual experiences...well, we waded across a very cold creek to pick buckeyes off of a tree. LOL! It was SOOO cold but we laughed the whole time! On Christmas Eve, he made me sit in the car while he ran into Goodies. When he came out, he had bought me a Christmas Eve present which he had me open at Applebees after we left the store. He grinned like a little kid the whole time! I love that man! LOL!
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
25 Feb 08
Hi Dear Kiran firtunately not much of such thing is happening at my end we have one thing in mind that this relation is forever. u have to stay life time so automatically u mind is set like this, u ignore some thing and adopt to the habits of ur partner, as u r aware that no one is perfect, have good or bad habits and other thing, litle chit chat, small fight, some times going out, family gathering keep things moving and not make it stagnant
@sang2k2 (1833)
• India
25 Feb 08
hello, i agree with you and it is true as even i have seen that in my life among my friends or even people around me. Well but these are also the reason for splits as well as betraying the partner. But i think that keeping the relation live and happy should be from both the sides as one cant clap with single hand it should be from both the hands. this phrase is true in many respects ..
@littleowl (7157)
25 Feb 08
hi kiran wish i could help on this one--in previous reationships i have never found the answer to that but the relationship i'm in know though as you know it is a long distance one there are a few things that i've learnt one is to have one of you surprise each other with a romantic night out for dinner perhaps if you can afford it to go away for a few days somewhere you both like and have the quality time that you both need-even if you cant go away perhaps get some relative to look after the children for a couple of nights--doing things on impulse is another way of keeping your relationship alive-i hope oneof mylotters has some good ideas-your friend littleowl
• India
24 Feb 08
realtionship - alive relationship
Hi kiran, to have our relation ship alive we all need constant love support and appreciation.we have to shed our egos for some times for good relationship. nothing can makes stronger relationship than the healthy respect of your partner.In the present days peoples are changing partner's like clothes. But one thing we all need to realize is at the end of day we need some one who would care for you and would be their for you always. one just don't need company but a loving partner who can understand you for what you are.
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
25 Feb 08
Sounds like you have a very solid and happy relationship. Thanks for your response :))
@nomoso (650)
• India
25 Feb 08
ya it quite difficult to stay in touch but its very essential to keep the spark flowing...i like to call them then and there may even meet, give surprises to her or him... hey people i am not talking only about spouse/lover relationship...i mean others too..like friendship etc..
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
25 Feb 08
Yes I agree surprising people helps keeps the sparks alive. It is also very important in frienships too. I am currently searching online for a fun adventurous present for my friend for her 30th, thinking about kayak voucher and snorkelling. Just to show her that I value our friendship. Thanks for your response. :))
@nomoso (650)
• India
25 Feb 08
hmm thanks for u too... what kinda gift r u trying??
• Philippines
30 Dec 08
Eventhough it's hard, i still believe that constant communication and openmindedness coupled with honesty and loyalty is still essential to any relationship. If the relationship starts to stagnate... or starts to be on shaky grounds... it's better to talk things out and remain openminded to accept each other's shortcomings, with a goal of creating ways to meet at a halfway to settle your differences whether on a short-term or a long-term process. Good luck
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
5 Jan 09
I think you have the key ingredients there to a successful relationship. it would be great if all relationships were like that however some people are too stubborn to meet halfway.