In Mylot Land...Does Age Matter to You?

Raia, What You See Is What You Get :-)

Yes...it is...especially when view others from the inside out...rather than the outside definers. Raia

Hi again...and thanks for adding some good perspectives to the question of age on Mylot. The examples you cite are great ones and reveal that sooner or later who we really are speaks way louder than the age we say we are or...are not. You are so right when you say there are some here who are very emotionally immature even though they claim to have been around the sun a certain number of times. Glad you liked the word nebulous...and yes, one does have to be discerning about befriending people and offering too much...too soon. When I read your comment about some on-line buddies who were WYSIWYG...you will have to forgive me...I have no idea what that means. Some of the short forms people use are beyond my zone of familiarity. As a writer...I am committed to the long form in communication...so if you'd be so kind to fill me in on that I'd appreciate it. In my case I have exchanged e-mails with a few people and chatted with three women on the phone and my felt sense of them in Cyber space is proving to be true. However, like you I do my best to follow my 'intuitive knowing' when connecting with people here...and so far it hasn't let me down. So...in the scenarios you have presented I can see why age is not a concern for you...and thanks for your well presented reasons why. Warm regards, Raia

Thanks for dropping by...and welcome to Mylot. Always great to see new members among us. Anyway, I appreciate your viewpoint...and I agree with it! Raia

I don't think it matters too much, obviously it depends on the topic, I'm 46 and I definitely won't be able to talk about music with someone who is a complete generation younger than I, because their taste in music is completely different, not that I don't like any of today's music at all, but we'll just have different tastes, so all we would have would be arguments over which music is better, then or now. And this is true with a lot of subjects, but I do think I can have a decent interaction online with anyone, regardless of the age.

Hi..I totally 'get' where you are coming from in your example of age differences and how they can be glaringly apparent within generations and their musical tastes. That is very true. Your observations about being able to chat with most anyone of any age on Mylot does create a different level of communication and one that I continually enjoy. This is the first forum I have been on...and have no inclination to go elsewhere because I value the open mindedness members portray. Thanks for adding to the topic. Raia

Excellent response!

Yes, I agree...this is an excellent response. Your points about deliberately distorting one's identity to the degree you experiences is something I wouldn't like either. People who have chosen to add or subtract years on their profile have done it for personal reasons..that are theirs to make. However, you said it all when you said that you do no care about age when the wavelengths match! Good one...and thanks for contributing! Raia

lol am getting close to that 70 mark 2 more years I was just thinking yesterday that my oldest son will be 50 in OCt. and the son that was here just turned 48 so I got some old kids as my brother once said about our mom. as for ages that dont matter is how young your spirit feels Hugs and blessings

Hi my ageless friend! You are a wonderful example of how insignificant the number of birthdays a person has nothing to do with how young their spirit is. I love the fact that you are a free spirited person...I wouldn't care if you were 20 or 70...because we have connected at a level that is rather timeless. If people were planning to meet in person I am sure they would disclose their real age...no surprises that way! (chuckles) Hope you are feeling better...sent an e-mail today. Raia

With not having kids ourselves..we often see where we are in life by watching our friends' children 'age.' Yes, there are markers of time..but in our spirits we can be any age we want. You are right it really does not make any real difference when we are connected to people. Hope you are enjoying your weekend..good to have some time to catch up here. Warm thoughts and big hugs, Raia

I never thought about it that way, Darkwing. I've always said I prefer for people to be honest with me about such things... not because I care about the age itself, but because the honesty means so much to me. It's interesting to look at it from your perspective! :)

Hi dear one...good to hear from you again. Hope your leg is improved and your mobility is coming back. I am happy that you and I are of the same mind on our views about age. I also use discernment on line and posting actual ages does not seem like a good idea to me because of things like identity theft. Not that I intend to invite that in...but a healthy does of reality can prevent things from happening. Your circle of friends sounds like ours..both here and in our personal lives..we love people for their essence..not their age! Good addition as always. I have missed you but as I have said other times...my world is brighter because you are in it...whether we chat or not. Love and warm, light filled wishes, Raia

Hi to both... Yes, we see things the same way...again. No big stretch there! In regard to Lecanis's comment... I absolutely agree with you that honesty is important...and one to one I have no problem with revealing my age to people I have deeper connections with. However, just like other things in life discernment and 'a need to know' basis are other considerations that go deeper than always revealing things about ourselves that may not be relevant. In new situations I usually ask myself.."Is there a need for them to know this..and will there be any benefit to them having this information?" Sometimes revealing too much too isn't healthy...even it is...'honest.' Raia

Hi and thanks for dropping by. I like your viewpoint and agree with it...especially about many 'senior's being young at heart and well informed. The same is true with a lot of younger people...a lot of them portray an emotional maturity beyond their years. So yes, we all are a part of this great Cyber community and the unique parts make a very dynamic whole! Best regards, Raia

Hi...and thanks for adding your view to the topic. I agree with how you see it and from what I have read here most everyone feels the same way. Good to know. Good conversations among good friends...who cares about a number! Raia

I guess the honesty issue here for me is holding other people to my own honor code, which isn't really fair of me. *shrugs* I just don't like lying. I will completely withhold information if it's a safety issue (not everyone here knows my name, for instance) but I won't give false information. It's just one of those things for me. I love having friends of different ages than me, personally, because it's neat to see which experiences they have are drastically different from mine because of time period and which are similar... basically which things are affected by time and which aren't. It's also neat for me to have older friends, especially in religious circles, because they tend to be closer to my level of experience than people my own age (since not that many people grow up pagan as I did). Young people are interesting for the opposite reason: fresh views on everything!

Hello again... Hope you are feeling better...from what I read on your site you've been going through another rough time. I like your approach to the age question...on or off line. Yes, in an ideal world it would be great to think that everyone could tell their age without concern about consequences...but other things can apply in Cyber space. I respect those who tell their real age...but also honor the right of others to keep it more private...for whatever their reasons. David and I also do not place a person's age as much of an indication of anything...just how many times they circled the sun. We also have friends of all ages and find it keeps life interesting. Good input as always, Raia

I appreciate your strict code of ethics and respect you for it. Darkwing just posted her response and she says she never gives her real age...and I know her to be an ethical person...even though her lack of 'truth' about her age does not fit for you. In my view people have their own reasons for making the choices they do and it is not for me to judge them. In regard to having friends of all ages...I really like what you said. Yes, elders have more wisdom and experience...and younger people having fresh perspectives. We need variety to keep life interesting and thriving...and mingling with people of different ages, beliefs, cultures or whatever can provide a lot of growth and insight. I appreciate the strength of your voice Lecanis...and I am glad you keep speaking your truth. Raia

Hi again Joyce.. Thanks for offering your views on this. The way you see is akin to my views...not only here..but in personal exchanges. In our work we interact with individuals of all ages and have come to see as you have that people are unique...and opening ourselves up can help us learn more AT any age..FROM any age. Raia

Hello dear perspective friend. Thank you very much for your support to my viewpoint. I appreciate it very much. Yeah, my posts have been increasing very fast, especially before I started my winter vacation on campus rather than when I was enjoying my vacation at home with my family and relatives, when I did not have that much time for mylot. I really had a great vacation with my family. As this new semester is a busier one for me, I think that I will not have as much time to mylot as before, but anyway I will try my best to post more during my 4-day rest from work after working for twelve days or more before we have that four-day rest, when it is a time for me to have more posts. By the way, I will start to have my days off from March 3rd to 6th. I am looking forward to my days off to mylot. Thank you very much for your perspective discussion as always and I don't think that it will take you before you reach 2000 in the event. Happy posting and have a good day.

Hi again William...and look at you go...almost to your 6,000th post. Wow...it didn't seem that long ago that you reached your 5,000th. I admire that. It is taking me forever to reach 2,000. Partly because I post longer responses here and when I visit friends...and the fact David and I have projects that take away from my time here. Anyway, good for you...keep going and adding all that you do here my friend. I appreciate your viewpoint about learning from people of all ages and agree with you. Opening our minds to people of different ages can teach us much when we allow ourselves to learn. Like you I would never refuse someone because of age..the young man I mentioned showed me that it really doesn't matter...who a person is the key. Good chatting as always, I value your support here. Raia

Hi again.. Thank you and I will be watching to see when you do make your 6000th..are you going to post it as a discussion? I know Mylot doesn't like us to do that but each 1,000 is a milestone. I am also happy to hear you enjoyed your vacation...you seem to give a lot out to others...and caregivers need time for self-care too. How is that student of yours that you have been mentoring? Hope things are going well for her too. Wow..12 days..that is quite a shift. Good to know you will still be posting between your busy shedule. I always enjoy hearing from you and appreciate the warmth and caring you exude here. Thanks for you vote of condidence on reaching 2,000. Yes it will happen..slow and steady that's how we are make lasting changes...and progress of coursse. We will continue to keep in touch..that is what friends do..on line and off. Warmest regards, Raia

Your approach seems to be aligned to others I have read so far. I agree with your viewpoint that most people here have valuable life and personal experiences to contribute...regardless of their age. In Cyber space there is a different level of communication where strangers can quickly develop connections that have an ageless/timeless quality to them. It is a unique world alright. Raia

Good chatting between both of you. In regard to what you have said Programer...I have no idea what age you are because I have always been very impressed by your well thought out and highly intelligent responses. I wouldn't care if you were 16 or 60 because in our various chats I respect who you are. Sorry to hear about those who were subjected to ageism here. I appreciate that you do not pay much attention to the age that is stated...or whether it is valid or not. I don't care either. The content of discussions and the people who offer them is what brings me back...and I think most members feel that way from the responses I've read here. Thanks for dropping by again..I always enjoy hearing from you. Raia

That's one of the problems with a site like this. People become self-important and forget that they were once.. or will be the same age as the person the are looking down upon. What they fail to understand is EVERYONE is entitled to their opinions based on the past experiences, beliefs or whatever. THAT is what makes this world so diverse. I think everyones opinions count. Gives me a better understanding of the world around me and on the subject of opinons.. Opinions are like @ssh0les.. everyones got one and they ALL stink!! LOL After the speech above .. you all HAVE to know I am kidding ;)

Hi again..we are sharing some fun exchanges lately. I like your attitude and approach. I totally agree with you that when we open our hearts and minds we can learn a lot from everyone...of any age. Good input..chat soon.. Raia

Hi, welcome to Mylot and thanks for your viewpoint. Yes, having a healthy sense of discernment anywhere is useful. I find it especially so on the internet...because things are often not as they are being presented...or as they appear. Raia

Thank you Deepak, you are very nice...:)))

Pola! what a logical and an excellent response. It is you only.....who can write such wonderful responses. :):) Dpk

You too!:):)

that is true I enjoy it in here in mylot.

Hi and thanks for sharing your views. Age obviously isn't a concern to you...or most others here...and doesn't that say a lot about the whole community. Probably why we all enjoy being here...people sharing and caring and not thinking about age...just the connections we make. Best regards, Raia

Hi again...by the time I am reading your post it is ten hours later...so I imagine you are back home by now...it is 5:39 PM here. Yes, we have sunny weather here too...and have had all week and I love it. It sure elevates the mood alright...as does the longer days of light. In regard to posting the correct age...I can understand why people do not and I am fine with whatever their reasons are. One gal I know did it because she lives alone and probably thought appearing older would create less interest in her than if she was younger. My friend did it because she wanted people to get to know her as the youthful spirit she was rather than by being 'older.' I respect whatever reasons a person does it...and for those who are new to social forums and do not know what to expect it makes sense to me that they would lie about their age until they get their footing. So yes, it is an interesting question and does make one wonder if the same rules always apply in Cyber space as they do in real life. I do not care much about age in any area of life...so what people choose to say about it is less important to me that who they are. Fun sharing...hope things work out OK with Bailey. I read one of your responses where you are still having trouble with him marking. Hope you don't have to make the hard choice of letting him go. That is tough. Warm caring regards, Raia

Yes, people have their own reasons. I would prefer that it would be possible not to display the age if one didn't want to. I am sure that many people would feel more comfortable with that. But since it's not possible there is the other option left. It was a smiling sunshine day:) ANd you're right, the fact that we have light for a bit longer. AS for bailey.. yeah... it's a bit complicated. WE can actually sleep now, which is a big improvement. But he's still spraying. It's not that unusual but it creates a bit of stress. THis is a house filled with teenagers - my kids, the girl that is living with us right now, my kid's friends. There's always something around. It's the clothes Andre forgot to pu in the hamper, it's the outfit that one of the girls thought about wearing and ended up changing her mind living it in the sofa, it's the jackets of the friends that came to visit, the backpacks from the kids that came from school with Andre or Katt, it's our sofa bed, that sometimes if I'm late I leave open...it's even the baskets of clothes to take down to the laundry - many baskets sometimes - the key word is teenagers LOL. ANd usually those are the things that Bailey sprays. I am not really sure of what to do. I will probably wait a bit more and see how it works, but if it persists I will have to make a decision. It's making me sad. Bailey is a very gentle cat, he is the one that craves our company the most. He is the one that jumps on my lap when he feels I'm not at my best, and looks into my eyes like he's reading something in there. But the smell, is so strong and difficult to clear...

Hi good to know the sunshine is a mood elevator for you too. Lots more of that to come. That will be great after the long, cold, dark days we had awhile back. The situation with Baily sounds very distressing...I cannot imagine what we'd do if any of our three males were spraying like that. Is there nothing that the vet can suggest? We have never had that happen...but we usually have our pets fixed around 6 months as the vets suggest and so far it has worked out well. My thoughts and well wishes are with you. I still miss Tasha and our cats are like yours...very lovey dovy fur-babies. It would be very sad to have to put him down because of a behavioral problem. Keep me posted...I hope you can find a solution. Raia

I really understand your reasons for not sharing your true age, Coralie, especially now when working out someone’s true identity is a lot more easier than what it used to be some 10 years ago. Identity theft is still a major cybercrime in Northern America. So, the more you keep your personal information with yourself, the more you can feel safe; that’s quite understandable and I won’t judge you, or anybody for that matter, based on this. When I said about losing confidence and trust in someone, It’s when I have already developed an advanced level of friendly interaction with someone and upon my ‘explicit (though private) enquiry’, that person still tells me the wrong age. Otherwise, it’s of no consequence per se i.e. even if someone is on more advanced terms with me but I don’t “ask” explicitly, I won’t judge them for showing wrong age. My interactions here, friendly or otherwise, do not factor in the age parameter as such. The only exceptions are when I like to be…more respectful with people who are close to my parent’s age and older…or more fatherly with those who are close to my youngest sister’s age or younger. Still, there is no difference in the core of my content! I don’t know If I am making sense here anymore!? LOL! Thank you for all your kind words, Coralie! You are one of the most respectful and understanding people here! :-)

How good of you to come back and add some more clarity to our first chat. Thank you for your understanding about why I chose to tell a beige fib about my age. Like you truth and integrity are very important to me and in my personal and professional affairs it is my clear intent to 'walk my talk.' However, being the Newbie I was here I was not about to compromise things and I proceeded in revealing things slowly. Now that I have a circle of friends here I am more inclined to discuss things in a more open way. However, I do think that we all need to be discerning because not everyone lives with the same values as we are discussing here. Within the circumstance you describe about someone lying directly to you that would be off-putting to me as well. Breaches of trust can create great divides between people and that is why I have come to believe that truthfulness is key to creating any meaningful relationship. So we are on the same page on this one. I am very touched by your parting comments...thank you very much. I am honored that you see me that way...and I respect you immensely as well...and that is the truth! Coralie

Hello Kamran...we haven't chatted in awhile and I always enjoy it when we do. As you always do what you have offered here is so well thought out and presented in your articulate inimitable style. I appreciate the fact that you read the discussions and responded to all of it...not everyone does that. In my case I did not reveal my true age for a few well thought out reasons. The first one was at the suggestion of the gal who signed me up...she didn't put her real age either. For the reasons you said...to somewhat blur our identities...and secondly for concerns about identity theft. I had never been on any discussion site...and she was much more experienced than I...she was always on this site or that...so I followed her suggestion. Similarly my real name is Raia...but it is my second name...not my first. I chose to put my toes in the water very tentatively at first...but as my sense of community has grown here...so has my trust with a variety of individuals...so now I would be more comfortable in people knowing my first name...which is Coralie. If people have checked out my Blog or Homepage they already know that anyway. I am committed to truth in all areas of life...but to my being more discerning in Cyber space disclosures has a different feel to it than in everyday life. I hold to my reasons for not stating my exact age..and I know others here have similar reasons to mine when they distort things around age. In my view it is a personal choice...and a beige fib around age in Cyber space will not cause any harm..other than some might feel betrayed. However, if they can listen and hear the person's behind it I expect trust could be established. However I agree with the point you presented about a Cyber friendship was being taken to a different level. Then I absolutely agree that a person should fess up so that openness and trust are at the foundation of their relationship. Otherwise age is of no real consequence to me and David and I have friends in a variety of age groups too. I can appreciate why some of your friends would be older..you have a lot of 'soul' wisdom that has an ageless/timeless quality to it. I have always appreciated who you are and how you present yourself and enjoy our chats whenever they occur. Warm regards, Raia

No sure...but they sound as though we have a similar level of respect for their 'wisdom beyond their years.' Yep, the number doesn't matter...but attitude and state of mind does. I am sure with the way you and I are approaching life we'll be ageless wonders! At least I hope so! Keep on keeping on there..you are doing great! Raia

Hi again... I had a similar thing happen when I first signed up here. A young fellow started responding to my discussions and I never checked out his profile page and had no idea how young he actually was. When I found out I...like you was delightfully impressed by his 'soul' knowing. That was what convinced me that whatever age people post...whether it is true or not is of little consequence when I can relate to them. I know there are many here who have told a beige fib about their age...(me too) but it is not going to cause any harm to anyone...so I say go for it! I also like your comment about how connecting with younger people with emotional mature attitudes does give me hope for the next generation too. Good addition as always, Raia

I wonder if we are talking about the same person- it sounds like it! Have a great one!

Hello and welcome to Mylot...good to have someone joining us with your attitude. What you have offered here is appreciated and I look forward to hearing more from you. Your reasons for being here are akin to most people and age is of little conseuqence in Cyber space if the content of discussions is something we can participate in. It is a great site and I am sure you will find an abundance of great conversations...there are a lot of intelligent, thoughtful, insightful and caring people here. Enjoy! Raia

Oh brother do I know that one...my 'thinker' gets so wired up some nights that it takes awhile to wind down and get to sleep. I am sure you will find your way and figure out topics that will reflect who you are and what you believe. Navigating around and getting a feel for different members' sites and responding will help them get to know you too. Before long you'll have a regular circle of friends...and the fun and enjoyment factor is always here. Good to have you here...take care and warm regards, Raia

I am beginning to find that out. I am slowly learning the ropes and the do's and dont's (i think) I've started a few discussions.. but nothing as in depth as to what I have been responding. I know now to try and think a little more deeply about my topics to illicit the intelligent responses I crave I just hope my brain doesn't explode in the process.... lol