Would you go up to someone and ask "What do you not like about me?"

@ahgong (10064)
Singapore
February 26, 2008 5:57am CST
In line with one of my previous threads, I was asking how you would react to the question if it was asked to you by someone you know. You can check it out here -- http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1416564.aspx Now come the question... will you go up to someone you know and as the same question? It can be your boss, your spouse, your children or even your buddies, go up to them and ask, "What do you not like about me?", what kind of responses do you think you will get? What kind of response are you expecting? What kind of response do you think you will get? Share your views.
4 responses
@applefreak (3131)
• Singapore
26 Feb 08
hmm if someone were to antagonise me to my limit, i'd go up to the person and ask this question. especially if i have absolutely no idea what i've done to deserve this. i also ask my partner this question sometimes. though i tend to phrase it differently. more towards what habits do i have that is not so desirable. coz i know that it's not easy for oneself to see what's wrong but it can grate on another person's patience. this helps reduce conflict between us and makes life more bearable. :p
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
27 Feb 08
I guess we all have our limits. It is a matter of how we handle the situation when our limits are reached. But not all the time when you approach your antagonizer will he or she tell you the truth. You know they have something against you, but they will never tell you. And that will only get you more frustrated. I know, cos in one of my previous work stint, there was this supervisor who is all out to make things difficult for me. Even though I put in the efforts to get the job done, working late when necessary and liasing with the different customers to ensure the job is done and done well. I am never given a fare share of the rewards when it comes to distributing the pie. And when I approached him for a reason, he brushed me off on some performance issue. Frustrated, I moved on to another company which treated me a little better for the efforts I put in to get the job done. Life... all sorts of people make up this world. I could only look back and say, as the chinese would put it, "ba zhi bu her" -- Our characteristic fates are not meant to be.
• Singapore
27 Feb 08
yupz all sorts of people make up the world. sometimes it's really ba zi bu he that's why the person couldn't say what's wrong. but sometimes the antagonising factor is so minor that this person also feel embarrassed to say it out. it could be something as simple as forgetting that person when ordering tea for everyone! slowly it builds up and everything you do is wrong. guess what you did was the best option available.
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
27 Feb 08
In our society, it is THE only option available. If we were to confront the antagonizer, it would depend on what is your rank and his/her rank. If you out rank the fella, still got some lee way to play with. If both of you are on the same ranking, then it would depend who your immediate supervisor like better. It is a battle of patience to see who will blink first and leave. If the fella out ranks you, you can kiss your career advancement good bye. Simple as that.
• United States
12 Jul 08
No, I wouldn't ask someone that. Mainly because I don't want to hear it. I would much rather ask a person what DO you like about me and hear the answer to that question. Why submit ourselves to a bunch of negative stuff? Most of us already know what our faults are and most of us need all the help we can get to increase our sense of self esteem. Look for positive things about yourself and others!
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
17 Jul 08
Ha ha ha ha... that is true also. Looking at the positive rather than the negative is a good thing. But there are times when you know some one hate the sight of you. And you have to interact with the person for some reason or another. Aren't you the least bit interested to know what that fella is hating your guts for?
• India
18 Apr 08
yes i always ask my friends about they don't like about me.i think we should change for others also
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
5 Jun 08
What do you mean we have to change for others? How do you intend to change? Sometime it is easy to say we want to change for others. But is it really that easy to achieve? How far would you go to please some one who openly tells you what he or she doesn't like about you? How do you deem it as reasonable to make the change for him or her?
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
26 Feb 08
Yes, if i have the face to ask that to know what he likes about me Of course i want to know
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
27 Feb 08
ha ha ha ha ha... I guess you are not alone in wanting to know how much a person likes about you. But what if he starts to tell you about the things that he does not like about you? What would you do then? Would you change yourself in order for him to love you more? It is easier said than done you know. A lot of hard work and effort.