Why must people be judgemental of others.

@wrongway (277)
United States
February 26, 2008 8:07am CST
I am at a point in my life where I have come to realize that in past years I was very judgemental of others for the way they lived, their lifestyles, or things they did, and am wondering why. Was it because I saw my parents being judgemental of others? Was it because I was instilled with certain values and did not see them in others? Or was it because I just felt I was smarter and had to voice my opinion? At any rate I now realize how many friendships I may have lost because of it, and also the meaning of the saying, "what goes around comes around". I am happier than I have ever been in my life right now, however my lifestyle is not accepted by a lot of people, (No, I am not a thief or drug addict, live on welfare, or a member of the mob.) and I overheard a comment the other day made by someone who hardly knows me and it got me to wondering why would they say something like that when they don't even know me. Then I got to thinking about how I used to do that years ago, which got me to thinking why are we like that. What are your thoughts on this. Why must we be judgemental? Why can't we just live and let live?
2 people like this
12 responses
@bond0077 (375)
26 Feb 08
I can answer this question a number of ways,but firstly let just let me say this,in societies where getting ahead is not the end all of their exsistance you won't find this problem,of course over here higher pop.less good paying jobs to go around,we compete everyday for affection at home,attention at school,attention at jobs for promotions etc..for relationships,friendships,social groups,it is easy to see why people judge others even in the year's presidencial candidates,the reason why we can't live and let live in this society is a matter of survival,we all judge by the way ,including you,if you are driving on a long lonely road in the darkness of night,would you pick up a older bearded stranger?no ?why not ?because you just judged him!right?if a judge sees a defendant dress in a suit and another in rags who will be judged less harshly?hillary clinton is judged to be a hard unfriendly candidate ,even though she is more experienced and is better as president than obama because he has no experience and is more softer,friendly ,he is in the lead right?the truth is you should know when to be judgemental and when to let things slide,so what is most important is your realistic view of who you are,don't assume you unattractive when you are and if you are not ,well there so many things you can do to change that,not a face lift but wear better more attractive clothing,or your hair the way you walk is very big in my book,showing more confidence to me is a big turn on!i have seen very attractive women ,with no confidence no thanks,how you speak,very important,i love the way holly hunter talks,or laura linney,or Reese witherspoon uuumm uumm!anyways what i am saying blame the game not the players,you have to be in the game to have a shot at winning!
@wrongway (277)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Very well put and a lot of food for thought. It really gives a better perspective on things looking at it this way. Thanks for posting.
@bond0077 (375)
28 Feb 08
We as human beings have to do whatever it takes to accept others but it does take two to tango,like i could say hi or good morning all i want to bus driver yet they never respond,they are so unfair sometimes,rude other times etc...now i stopped saying hi and i am thinking of them in that light so i don't know!it take two to make this work!
@dianagnes (1088)
• Singapore
27 Feb 08
It normal for human beings to be judgemental of others.Lucky,you realized that you used to judge others when you felt that others judge you wrongly.Its not a good habit to judge others.I dislike people who like to jugde others without knowing the real things/story/problem.To judge people in a positive way is fine,but to judge in a negative way is totally wrong.Its a sinful mistake.They tends to have negative judgement and will expose it to someone else.That's even worst. The karma itself have stated.People have mouth to say,eyes to see and etc..they use it to view others lifestyle,and their mind are always ready to judge what they see.They would love to share what they have judge(wrongly)..these may results to misunderstanding and hatred to others. I dont judge people when i dont know them.I try not to judge in a negative way.
@wrongway (277)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Very true. There are any number of reasons a person can be the way they are and many of them are out of the person's own control. Kinda like the frog who turned out to be a prince. He had no control over the witch who turned him into a frog, but given the chance he became the handsome prince again because someone took the time to see what was inside. Thanks for posting.
@bond0077 (375)
27 Feb 08
Good question,thanks for asking it,i had 45yrs of experience to come up with that answer,i hope you fair better than me with this problem!
@wrongway (277)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this question, just a lot of opinions, reasons and food for thought. I guess the best way I can put it is that one needs to do what they feel is right, treat others as they themselves would like to be treated and live life to the fullest.
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I think some of its in our nature to judge others but alot of it has got to do with our ego, and how by judging others it makes us feel bigger and superior than them. I am currently reading Eckhart Tolles Book The Awakening and it talks alot about this. I am still trying to understand it so I could be totally wrong here but it makes a little sense.
@wrongway (277)
• United States
28 Feb 08
You and several other people have mentioned ego and when I think about it I can see what you all mean. One word that comes to mind is power. Hmmm, something to think about. Thanks for the tip on the book. I will try to get it. Thanks for posting.
@mansha (6301)
• India
27 Feb 08
We are humans and humans with opinions about everything and everyone. This is good this bad, this is right this is wrong. Anything that is out of normal accepted behavior of our society scares us-preplexes us and we need a reason to justify it so we form an opinion and we do not limit ourselves to just that we share it to. If we have authority or power(provided we can stay safe from strong retliation) we even go to the subject of our opinion and tell it point blank (mostly very rudely) what we think of him. We love isolating fellow humans as it gives us power over them. So its just our nature nothing else.
@mansha (6301)
• India
27 Feb 08
I can't understand where did the picture go. I will try again now.
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
27 Feb 08
yeah i think its human nature to comment on peolpe that you dont know , just to make us laugh for humerous reasons , and then the other part of that is people just have to say something cause they want some type of reaction out of you , as if they get off on that you know ?
@wrongway (277)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Can human nature be changed? And just where do we learn human nature as not all people are like that. Thanks for posting.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
27 Feb 08
There is a saying that when a person says something bad about you, it's really about him/her, not you. Meaning, people become judgmental because of their own insecurities about themselves. They "project" or transfer their flaws to other people so that they will feel better about themselves. This is the reason why I couldn't care less if someone has a bad thing to say about me. What's important is how I see myself.
@wrongway (277)
• United States
27 Feb 08
That goes along with the saying "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" as my mother used to say. I have told my daughter that it doesn't matter what others think, as long as she is happy, and that her true friends will accept her no matter what. Your thoughts are very valid. Thanks for posting.
• United States
27 Feb 08
I think the answer to your question is really very simple. We get older and wiser. LOL The older we get the more we realize that we don't know it all and that the universe does not revolve around us.
@wrongway (277)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Nicely put. Thank you. I guess I got wiser but I absolutely refuse to get older. LOL Thanks for posting.
• United States
26 Feb 08
I was only judgemental when I was a kid for a short period of time. I had a really hard life so I couldnt be judgemental of anyone really. I think its just in human nature to be that way. Some people do it to look big. I know a few people that judge others and say things and I dont like it when they do. I think its wrong. They dont know the person and further more there may be serious reasons behind what they happen to be judging.
@wrongway (277)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Yes, been there done that. I have had my share of ups and downs and I think that is what made me realize I was judging people. It is very wrong and I have tried to instill that in my daughter and told her that "looks a person does not make" meaning that even a rich person who could afford the best of everything could walk around in jeans with holes just cuz they are comfortable. Beauty comes from within. Thanks for posting.
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
26 Feb 08
people has a wrong way of jumping into conclusion at firsthand. maybe because people are born with envy and so their mentality is to spy on other people and talk nasty things behind their back. a crab mentality to be exact, it's when people pull you down and drag you to dirt whenever they see some success in you, if you have alot of money you can be sure to have alot of friends tailing in your back for obvious reason. people are judgemental, they judge people according to what they see and to what they think is right. not caring about how they live their lives and if they are living their life correctly.
@wrongway (277)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Good point about the envy. I never thought of that but I guess it's true. I know I have often ask myself how come that never happens to me, or why must she be so lucky. Thanks for posting.
@patzel88 (3311)
• Philippines
19 Jun 08
some people are judgemental because they under estimate the ability and didnt know how they break the heart of the person they judge.
@subha12 (18452)
• India
27 Feb 08
I think its not only that we are only judgemental. But its good to judge it yourself and just do not go vocal about it. It can create problem there. If you keep mum and just act according to your judgement(like whom to avoid, what to keep away from) its beneficial actually.