I HATE it when this happens....
By byfaithonly
@byfaithonly (10698)
United States
February 27, 2008 5:32am CST
Well, in my mail this morning I found the following e-mail:
"Subject: ClickAwayAds-Update
Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:35:45 -0600
Beginning March 1st, 2008 Free members are not allowed to cashout with us; they can only convert to ads
admin"
Do to this development I am removing ClickAwayAds from my list of Favorite PTC sites. I was also not pleased to see that when I clicked on my own referral link I was taken to a page where the visitor is forced to answer 'survey' questions before being allowed to continue.
I do work with a lot of PTC programs but I refuse to be forced to 'pay' any program so I can receive money I have earned...
Now for some updates on my :)
#1 After the discussion I posted "I'm Depressed but..." I am feeling much better, I spent time in prayer, looked at my life and am in the process of making some changes. Most importantly I want to thank all those who posted encouragment and support for me when I was 'down'.
#2 I am going to be over the next few weeks 'weeding out' my so called 'friends' here on mylot. My policy has always been when I accept a friend's request I turn the notification on. This means every time one of my friend's posts a new discussion I get an email letting me know. I do believe part of my depression comes from sooooo many discussions and feeling quilty if I don't respond to them.
Well, bull pucky - I'm lucky if I get 20-30 responses to my discussions and not all of those are my 'friends'. With over 300 'friends' this means that a whole lotta my 'friends' are NOT responding to my discussions so why on earth should I feel bad about not responding to their discussions. So, I am not going to feel badly about it anymore, I apolgize to me 'true friends' you DO respond to my discussions. I am going to be turning my notification off for many of those who have never or very rarely responded to my discussions. This is not in any means ment to be or sound like a threat - I am merely simplifying my life and devoting my time available to the people who matter. In my book friendship is a two-way street both on and off line.
Ok, I vented, updated, and wish all a wonderful day... So what do YOU have to say :)
22 people like this
23 responses
@sminut13 (1783)
• Singapore
27 Feb 08
it's good to know that you're feeling better now. also, it's good to weed out your friends. hehe i sometimes wonder how you can keep in touch with 300 friends. for me, i don't think my friends exceed 50 and i still don't keep in touch with everyone. only if the discussions are interesting and i think i can contribute do i respond. i have all the notifications on. but for 300, if all were to post discussions in the same day, i think your mailbox would be too full. and definitely it would be tough to look through all the mail; what's more, even post. don't feel bad about it. i think they will browse through and if they like the topics, then they'll respond even if their notification is switched off by you. best of luck and have a great day too.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
It's impossible for me to keep up with ALL of my friends discussions and I think that's part of why I've gotten so depressed - I didn't feel like I was being a friend. At the same time when people request a friendship I hate denying it - I am doing that now. I've had 11 friends requests in the last 24 hours and only 1 of them had taken the time to respond to one of my discussions.
Thank you for being my friend :)
2 people like this
@sminut13 (1783)
• Singapore
27 Feb 08
i too would feel depressed and feel like i wasn't being much of a friend if i didn't respond. in fact, i felt that way when i just joined. but for me, people don't really request to be friends unless they need links or maybe i don't know, i seem to post to the topics often i guess. but yes, it could be partly why you were depressed before. i hope everything is ok for you now. take care
3 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I think there are a lot of people who are mainly requesting friendships so they can promote their money making programs to more people - I will admit I believe networking is a great way to do that but how about getting to know people to see if they might be interested first.
When I first joined myLot all I did was search for discussions I was interested in commenting on. I've been going through my friends and am amazed that friendships I developed a year ago are some of my most active friends. Both ways - that to me is good networking whether it be for business or pleasure.
3 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
27 Feb 08
Hi Faith. I agree about not paying tojoin sites and certainly not be forced to do so. I would have acted the same way if I were a member there.
I too have many friends on my list here. Some have disappeared and some reply when they cane. We all have our own lives to lead with all the ups and downs and even though I try to respond it's just not always possible. I will not be weeding out as I'm sure my friends understand that as much as I'd like to it's impossible to be here all day replying to everyone. I read them and I assume they read me but it has to end there on most occasions.
If this will take some of the stress out of your life, and I can quite understand your point, then you should do as you suggest. Happy posting and hope your life quietens down soon!
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Whew glad to know I'm not the only one that feels this way. I'm also going back to my original plan of not accepting friend's request unless they have responded to at least one of my discussions - how else do you get to know someone and know if you do want to be 'friends'.
2 people like this
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I am so glad you are feeling better and that you and the Lord have come together to make changes you feel are necessary in your life. CJ is going to perform a song with the kids at church (we finally found a good one) and I'm in a little 'skit'...Mark will be coming for the first time and that's an answer to my prayers. I pray your week is a blessed one.
2 people like this
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I'm not sure what the name of it is. The kids practiced it last Wed. and I hadn't heard it before; it's a real upbeat one, though. They will be playing African instruments as well and CJ loves the drums. I can't wait and I'll keep you informed on how it goes. Yes, He does answer our prayers; in His perfect timing!
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Amen, amen, and amen!
I can just imagine CJ on a set of drums - it sounds like great fun for the kids and the audience
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Oh that sounds great - what is the song? Praise the Lord for answered prayers - I am so happy for you, CJ and most of all Mark, there will be good come from this I'm sure.
2 people like this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
27 Feb 08
wow..the first thing I want to tell you, my friend, is that it seems that ...you are definitely feeling better. Being strong and full of plans is a good sign, he he. I hope you will never delete me from the list of friends in your heart. Have a nice day, my dear, and as always receive my best wishes for you.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Oh no dear friend - you are a true friend and thus I know you are busy at times and may not always be around, but I know you and that's what makes a friend. So many of these 'people' just post and post and post but NEVER respond to anything of mine :(
Yep feeling better, spent some deep time in prayer, got a new plan not only for myLot but many other areas of my life also. I am hoping that all this will help in all areas as I know oh so well that one thing can effect many...
best wishes to you also dear - have you heard anything on the book? How does this work, do you have to wait months and months to hear? I'm so excited about this :)
2 people like this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
That stinks :( I understand they need to read your novel before they decide but with modern technology I think they should let you know 'fast'... Opps their priorities may not be the same as mine - I would say - read bea's first :)
2 people like this
@maribea (2366)
• Italy
27 Feb 08
oh faith. the worst thing is that you have to wait and wait a lot and they are not always sending you a reply...you have to guess depending on the silence and the amount of time passed. However, I am not worried too much. I am very happy because I finished my work and now I am concentrating on a new and more difficult novel that I am writing...I love writing and I will keep on writing published or not..but better being published!!!
1 person likes this
@tess1960 (2385)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Take the bull by the horns girl...applause...cheers...You Go girl...Nip it in the bud...get it all out...LOL...Hurray for You...more applause. We all must find that one thing that will help us to stop feeling guilty all of the time. You have found it and that is great. If you turn me off, that's ok. I'll still find you from time to time and you will find me from time to time. It's all GOOD!
Have a great day!! :)
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
27 Feb 08
Hi faith, I'm about to drop by at my e-mail when I saw your discussion and I felt a little guilt, although I'm not that active these past few days because of my schedule. Sometimes I felt the same way specially with some friends who I actually responds most of her discussion but never responded in my discussion nor response to the response I made in her discussion. Well that's life we can't force others to do it so the best thing is we are the who will control our selves from be affected for not to ruin our day. So we must do is to cheer up so that blessing will be come more.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I'm sorry I don't like to make others feel guilt but in a way maybe it's a good thing - now we both know what's going on :) I do understand people are busy, I've had plenty of times like that myself but at the same time when I see 'friends' responding to other people's discussions but never mine or posting tons of discussions but not stopping by mine then I feel it's time for some new friends. Personally I enjoy getting to know people and you can't do that if there is no communication between them.
2 people like this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
27 Feb 08
There's nothing be sorry about friend, at least you been relieved from stress in sharing your thoughts about these few friends of yours. Have a nice day and smile always...
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
28 Feb 08
Maybe they have attracted with your topic hehehe, it's really hard to understand others people minds.
@icyorchid (2564)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Hi,
I am glad you are feeling better and you are right on the friend issue.
I have about 15 friends or so, not as many as you, there are only a handful that actually post though. I do respond to their discussions, if it is something I can answer. Some things they post, I know nothing about or don't have an opinion about, but for the most part, I answer.
I would not worry if I don't answer all the discussions from my friends, because I know they are not worried if they don't answer all of mine. lol We are all busy people and so we try and that is good enough.
Get rid of the one's you feel are no longer worth the time and have fun. That is what it is suppose to be about getting paid and having fun doing it.
There is another place you can get paid for writing articles on how to do something, it is called ehow. Maybe you can do that also and get more income through that.
Good Luck in your efforts to simplify your life, we all have to do that at some point.
Have a great day :)
@icyorchid (2564)
• United States
28 Feb 08
If you still have the same acct.
once you join the writer's compensation program, any new articles and already published articles will start earning compensation from your enrollment date.
Payout once you get $10 on you acct.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I never had an account - the company I worked for gave me a list of 'requested articles' and I wrote them, then someone else uploaded them to ehow...
I checked the site a bit and all I see are points, do you write for ehow? have you gotten paid? how much do you earn for example per article? Sorry for all the questions but I really might be interested in this.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Oh oh oh - ehow is paying for articles now?
I actually wrote over 200 articles for them when they first opened, they hired the company I was working for as a ghostwriter. At that time they didn't pay others to post articles. I am going to have to check into that as I don't work for that company any longer but certainly could use more money.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
27 Feb 08
It is sad that these sites change things all the time. I have given quite a few up. I also know what you mean about friends not responding. I sort through and respond only to the ones that I feel I can contribute something to.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Personally I don't think it's right that they do this. I can understand change but I think there should be a grandfather law or something like that - if you joined before the change the original policy holds true.
I can totally understand not responding to every single discussion posted by friends but at the same time NEVER responding is certainly not a friend. It's great not having to search for discussions but yesterday alone I had over 100 notifications - yes I can respond to that many if I do nothing else but at the same time half of those seldom if ever respond to mine.
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I'm sorry you are feeling down sissy. Hugs. I hope you feel better soon. I know i don't always answer all of your posts and I apoligize for that but I do answer the ones I think that I can answer. I hope I'm not one you are planning on throwing away. I still gotta see if my sweetie has a single brother for you lol. Feel better soon Lots of xxxxxxx
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Hey your my sister I couldn't throw you out - although I almost deleted my own daughter :( I'm referring to the ones who have been on my friend's list for months and months, have posted 100s of discussions but never respond to mine - it's just too over whelming for me getting that much mail, not so much the mail but knowing I can't respond to all of them so end up negleting the ones who are true friends.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
LOL - I've gone through them all, left notification turned on for you, deleted 80 some inactive or never have responded, and put over half of those remaining on 'off'. That will certainly cut back on my stress level right there and give me time to respond to my real friends...
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
27 Feb 08
"WHEW!! ok thats a releif. I know how you feel about mail. Its tough to get so much mail saying so and so has just added a new discussion. I only have a few people on mine. I could not handle having all my friends in my email all the time. Love ya sissy hugs
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
28 Feb 08
It happens, Faith.
Like you, I don't see why I need to pay.
One of the PPC sites I was on offer special payment arrangement for premium members too.
It just doesn't make sense to me... well, alright, it does - they want to rip you off. :P
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
28 Feb 08
LOL - this is the only place I gamble - and yep I figure anything you do in life is a leap of faith - you can work your butt off for 10 years for a company that over night sends all it's orders to another country leaving 100s of people without jobs too. It's a gamble but I figure a numbers game too - I do my best to only promote programs that are solid working/paying programs and have fun along the way. I do enjoy trying different things and learning along the way - we'll see how it goes, I may be doing something different next month, opps month after this one is almost over already.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
28 Feb 08
Do you gamble, Faith?
If you do, take it as such. All PPC sites are leaps of faith anyway (no puns intended here :P).
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Faith
Glad you are doing better!
I know what you mean about friends, the weeding out or at least turning notification off! I need to do that to some. Though I don't start a lot of discussions here, I do mainly respond to the discussions. I don't have nearly as many friends as you do, maybe 100. And probably only about 25 are active. The thing that is getting under my skin here lately is the one's that start tons of discussions, and don't tend to respond back to any of their responses or if they do respond at all only a very few! Not alot of my friends do this, but there are a few!
Have a great day!
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Yep - that's why I'm starting to 'weed out' I can't respond to responses, new discussions, and keep up with everything else with so many. It may take some time for me to go through and decide what I want to do but one thing forsure just clearing out the totally inactives helped me - not looking at so many to decide/figure out 'leave on' or 'shut off'.
and thank you dear I am feeling much better today - moving forward always helps along with figuring out some of the problems that shouldn't be problems such as the discussions thing.
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
4 Mar 08
This is a good post as it anwers a lot of questions that I have been thinking about.
I agree that it seems silly to have to pay for the surrveys as this is a money making business for somebody but I have never won anything or gotten much out of spending a lot of time filling out these surveys. But it was not all in vain as sooner or later we just get numb to these "survery" with or without false promises to "get rich quick" ;P ;or "easy money"
I don't believe in "something for nothing:" ..as this is not going to happen..sorry
So, I think you have a good point in choosing whom you want to include or exclude in your friends. My e-mail list of address of friends is very short..you can count them on one hand..but my wife's is much bigger then mine..lol..
Its ok to vent as this gets our frustration out of OUR system. Most people do not respond and that is sad but if I get an e-mail and even if I don't like the message or even if its rude..I just say ..thanks for responding or something like that..but sometimes it does make you feel a little sad that people think this way.
You never know who is responding. Some people are just young and immature and others English is not a first language and they come off rude or arrogant or they are prejudiced against a faith, belief, or some other reason.
Thanks the good post. The time I spent on mylot has enriched my life but with every laughter there sometimes has to be a tear.
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
14 Mar 08
I totally agree with you about the friends thing. I have over 125 friends on my list and I am lucky to get 20 responses to my discussions, and like you say, some of them are from members that aren't on my friends list. By the way, I have your notify button on and I do respond to as many of your discussions that I can. But in saying that, I don't see you responding to very many of mine, but that's okay because I know you are busy starting your own discussions. I have my notify buttons turned on so that I get a lot of discussions in my email so I don't have to search for discussions to respond to. I get so many emails that I am always about 3 weeks behind but I like it that way so I am not responding to any discussions that are being deleted after. I don't like to waste my time responding and then having it deleted.
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
14 Mar 08
Ooops, I guess you deleted me from your list because I just went and checked and you are no longer on my friends list. Oh well, they come and they go, just as quick.
1 person likes this
@babiegirl45 (227)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Good for you! Its hard sometimes to get out of a slump (a.k.a. depression). I totally understand what you are saying. Dont feel bad about not responding to EVERYONES discussion. If they understand anything about this site they should understand that it is hard to keep up with every discussion. I am new and I understand this. I hope this will help. My aunt told me something to do when you are in a slump. If you are working from home get outside and walk or at least sit outside and let the sun shine down on you. If you live anywhere like I do at this time its tooo cold to do that so she said stand by the window with it open and let the sun shine in. I hope that helps. I am trying to get out of my own slump so I know how it feels.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Your aunt gives excellent advice but this is a common condition this time of year - freezing cold, snow, ice, wind, and next to no sun for several months... I set and look out the window and picture how different it will be when spring comes.
One other thing I've found that helps is to do a little indoor excersice - streches, running in place and such. I hope you get out of your slump soon, I'm doing great again and should be fine for at least a few more weeks :)
@babiegirl45 (227)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Thank you! Yes I have tried walking up and down the stairs couple a times a day (each time going up and down 2-3times.) Yes this is the WORST time for the SLUMP. But hopefully we will start to see spring weather soon. I CANT WAIT. Thank you for responding to me.
@venshida (4836)
• United States
27 Feb 08
300 is a lot of friends, If your friends are not participating in your discussions, I agree delete them. You are 100% correct friendship is a two way street. I once had my email on like you did, and the emails were just to much so I turned mines off. I have not being on Mylot like I use to in the past so I am guilty of not keeping up with my friends discussion either so I am sure quite a few has deleted me from their friends list.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I've done it, I went through all of them and only left the notify on for the ones that fairly regularly respond to my discussions and I respond to theirs. I think this will work much better than trying to keep up with so many who don't return the favor so to speak.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
3 Mar 08
Hello Faith dear...so glad to hear you are over your depression...you always seem to me to be too busy to be depressed. :)
I have to admire you, truly. You have over 300 friends and expect to get over 300 responses to your discussions??? Now that's what I call hope....lol. I know you realsise this will never happen but I still think it's lovely to think it will and expect it will happen. I have about 200 friends and I would be very surprised if 10% of my friends responded to me. LOL.
As for alerts, I accept anyone's offer of friendship but only turn the alert on after checking to see how likely we are to have a couple of things in common. I end up turning some alerts off because I just cannot respond to them but I don't delete them as friends. Mind you, if I did delete some they probably wouldn't be aware. Hope you get things sorted sweety and I hope your days are happy.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
3 Mar 08
Oh no, no way I would ever believe or even think for a moment that I would get over 300 responses to one of my discussions but out of 300 'friends' I would like to see more than 5 or 10 of my friends respond.
I am doing much better and enjoying myLot more since I deleted a ton of inactives or ones who never ever responded to a discusion then I did turn off the notify for a few more. Less stress from not feeling like I have to respond to so many.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I've found quite a few sites that do that and I stay away from them. Their not worth my time.
@kelleydian (175)
• United States
28 Feb 08
I've just finished reading through this discussion and have gained some valuable information from you. I just joined a month ago and am now getting my feet wet here. I had seen the notification link but had no idea what it was for. I only have a handful of friends at the moment, but I can definitely see why you got so overwhelmed with all that email. Yikes! Right now I'm just subscribed to the daily newsletter from MyLot. (That's how I found your discussion)
Now that I know what the notification is for I'll be very selective as to who I turn it on for!
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Well, welcome to myLot, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do and have for over a year now. Some people don't like the email notifications from friends but I found myself spending hours just looking for 'good' discussions. For the most part I have a great group of friends and 90% of their discussions are something of interest to me or something I can contribute to - note, I am a writer and the main reason I joined myLot was to have a place to 'write' when I didn't have an assignment to work on. Some discussions I have to stretch a bit to make a quality response but it works my brain and writing talent.
It does save me a lot of time having the discussions sent right to my mail box so I don't have to look for them. I just got too many :) Best advice I would give is make friends, ones that you have things in common with and see where it goes from there.
@daniraius (98)
• Romania
27 Feb 08
Hi.I'm new on mylot and I read it with real interest.I read dayli "today's top discussions" and when i find some interesting ideas i try to answer or to explain my point of vue.Because i have no much time to spend in my lot, because i try to improve my english and to remind me words and expressions that i have been forgotten.I understood that many persons are active for the increasing of their earnings, this is the explanation for the many referral links?I don't know how works this, I know only that I answer when I like the ideas and isn't only a waste of time.I wish you all good, don"t go to my profile, I don't know what to do with it,I try to learn how to navigate in this site.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Well, welcome to myLot - it really is a great place with a ton of great people. I've heard others say they come here to help improve their English and I admire that greatly as English is my only language and sometimes I have trouble with it. I must say I don't think I've ever had anyone say Don't go to my profile :) The system sets it up just plain nothing fancy but the important information is there. As you spend more time here you'll start learning how to move things around and make changes...
@daniraius (98)
• Romania
27 Feb 08
uou, you received a lot of answers and you still have time to respond to all of them...You have my respect.Maybe now you are pleased of all this posts or am i wrong?I don't think some of your 'friends'will be very said if you'll turn them off..They'll have another friends.This is for the earnings?I think so.Have a good day ..or night.
@jervischin (17)
• Singapore
27 Feb 08
i am very happy to hear that your feeling is very good now, so i don't know how you can keep in touch with over 300 friends, that's so many, i think that your life is very wonderful. As for me, i have got 20 friends in here, i think that the friends are very important to me, because i need to their help when i meet the difficult in the life, i will have a happy life when i have friends. I believe that your more friends will respond to your discussion.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
27 Feb 08
That's the problem - I can't keep in touch with that many and they are not all responding to my discussions, only me responding to them. Your new so friends will come in time. Many of my best friends have been my friends since the first month I joined myLot (over a year ago). Those good friends came from responding to their discussions and letting them get to know me - building a friendship.
