My neighbor said I was a poor excuse for a mom......
By snoopy04
@snoopy04 (718)
United States
February 27, 2008 10:00am CST
This has really been bugging me so I thought I would get your opinion. My neighbor said that I was a poor excuse for a mom because I told my ten year old daughter Erica that she couldnt ride her scooter the rest of the afternoon.She had her scooter privaleges taken away. I was outside with all my kids about two weeks ago letting them enjoy the nice weather.My daughter was playing with my husbands nephew riding their scooters up and down the sidewalk.Well they asked if they could bring something else outside and I told Erica no.Well she threw a big fit and she called me a big fat weiner and that I was so mean. Well instead of having a screaming match with her I told her that because of her smart mouth her scooter privalges were taken away for the rest of the day. I told her next time she needs to think before she mouths off to me. I said that she may not like my decisions but that I am her mother and she will show me some respect.Well she started crying and went and sat down at the end of the driveway. My neighbor saw her crying and came over and asked her what was wrong. She said she couldnt ride her scooter and she was bored. Well my neighbor comes up to me and says that what I did was terrible and that I should be ashamed of myself. I told my neighbor to butt out of my business because she didnt know the whole story. She said that I shouldnt have taken it away from Erica because it didnt solve anything. So I told her that my daughter was not going to talk to me in a rude way and call me names just because she didnt get her way. She said it was just a phase and I should just lighten up. So she took the scooter and took it over to Erica and told her she could ride it. Well before I even had a chance to go off on her so told my neighbor taht she wasnt allowed to ride it because she was disrespectful toward me and that she didnt deserve to ride it after the way she acted.Well the look on my neighbors face was total shock. So she threw the scooter in my yard and said I was a poor excuse for a mom and left.
So when my ex husband came by to get Erica, she came over and apologized and said she was out of line for talking to me that way. I told her I loved her and that I was proud of her for realizing her mistake and giving me a sincere apology. I got my point across to her without screaming and without hitting her and I feel like I can conqure the world now.
I dont think I was out of line at all. I believe I would have been out of line if I hadnt done something about it at all. What my neighbor doesnt understand is that if you let your kids talk to you that way then they will grow up thinking they can talk to any adult that way. Kids need disipline and they need to understand and show respect to their parents and any other adults they come in contact with. I believe that I am instilling good values in Ericas life if she realizes the consiquences of backtalking her parents.
But I may be wrong, what do you think?
4 people like this
13 responses
@nova1945 (1612)
• United States
28 Feb 08
You did exactly the right thing. Children need to be taught to show respect to others. And good for you for not "getting into it" with your neighbor too. Kids learn more by example than our words. You daughter will remember your reaction to your psyco neighbor and learn from it. I'll bet that neighbor would be the first to complain about how disrespectful these teenagers are nowdays! Where does she think this attitude starts?
@kblakley (247)
• Loveland, Ohio
28 Feb 08
You are NOT a poor excuse for a mom, had you not done anything then you would be. You were totally in the right and your neighbor had no right at all. She would be the poor excuse for a mom thinking that what you did was wrong!!
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
28 Feb 08
‘…because it didnt solve anything’ what would have? Your bowing down to Erica and pampering her more. I am for one fed-up of ‘trying to understand’ kids. When we were small, our parents made no efforts to ‘understand’ us, they would smack us when they felt we were wrong, they would discipline us and love us too. We felt angry, we felt defeated, we felt resentful but we accepted it as part of growing up and our love and respect for our parents never wavered because of their behaviour. I mean this thought never came into our minds that mom does not have the right to slap me...and kids today! Just the other day I came across another friend’s woes here whose daughter threatened her point blank that if she was hit one more time, she would call up Child Protection (whatever that is)…amazing. And I think mothers like your neighbours are more at fault than the children themselves for spoiling them in their growing years and then complaining about their roguish behaviour later. What you did was absolutely correct according to me.
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
28 Feb 08
Not sure if your neighbor has kids or not, but if she does they will probably grow up to be juvenile delinquents. Since I only have your side of the story my reaction is who in the heck does this neighbor think she is? Get out of my yard and don't ever come back. Children need discipline and you did the RIGHT thing. The neighbor is a poor excuse of a neighbor. You can tell her i said so. lol Anyway you did the right thing and i commend you for being such a great mother as to care enough for your child to discipline them when they need it.
@Latrivia (2878)
• United States
27 Feb 08
It's great that you can find more creative ways beside hitting your kids to get your point across. You're neighbor is an idiot who needs to mind his own business. Sounds like he's got some parent/child issues with his own parents if he's going to throw a hissy fit over someone punishing their own kid in a non-violent fashion.
Keep up the good work. No parent likes to hit their kids, and it's good that you don't have to. Because you held your ground your daughter knows you mean business without having to go through the humiliation of corporal punishment. That's an ideal situation, right there.
@rockerchick (289)
• Canada
27 Feb 08
I believe you absolutely did the right thing! Children need discipline and learn to respect people not only adults. It would only get worse if you don't do it now while they are young. My brother's fiancee has a son and she used to be really soft on him when he was young. My brother, even though he is not his kid by blood, treated him like his son. He disciplined him from the beginning whereas she did not. Now, her son won't listen to her at all when she asks him to do something, he also talks back to her all the time. When it comes to my brother, he does what he tells him to do and he never talks back to him because he knows my brother will discipline him if he does. So it definitely makes a difference when you discipline your children!
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Good for you!! I am glad you did not back down. She had no business butting in. Stand your ground.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I think your daughter's apology after the fact says all you need to know! Your "lesson" taught her something very important and she obviously got the message. Good Job Mom!
It's your neighbor who's a poor excuse of a...whatever. First she had no business coming over in the first place, secondly it was wrong of her to take your daughter's side without hearing the whole story, third she should never have undermined your authority as the parent, and finally to throw a tmper tantrum like your daughter when she didn't get her way obviously didn't solve anything either!
@asgtswife04 (2475)
• United States
27 Feb 08
You definitely weren't out of line. If you let them get away with talking to you like that even once, then they assume they can start talking to you like that all the time. You have to be firm with them and it's not like you were beating her or spanking her all over the yard. you told her she lost her priveleges...big deal. You handled it very well with not getting into a screaming fight with her. The neighbor needs to understand that you are being a good parent by not letting your child do things that disrespect you and further more it was SO wrong of her to pick up the scooter and hand it to her after you told her she couldn't ride it. At least your daughter was smart enough to know not to get it and ride anyways. Your doing a good job...keep it up. They only get older and their mouths only get worse, unless you stop it now. Good luck and God bless
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
27 Feb 08
I think you acted more than appropriately, and that it is your neighbour that is the sorry excuse.
It's true that kids need discipline. They need to know their boundaries, and they need to know that there are consequences to their behaviours.. both positive AND negative. It works even better when the consequences are appropriate to the situation, and can be given immediately. In your situation, you did a perfect job.
Kudos to you for not getting into a screaming match with your daughter. Kudos to you for not slugging the neighbour too. ;)
@littleone3 (2063)
•
27 Feb 08
No you were not wrong as a mum of five children i would have done exactly the same thing in your situation. Your neighbour had no right to interfere in the way you disipline your children.
@miller1978 (1101)
• United States
27 Feb 08
I do the same thing with my children. I don't take it away the first time. They get a warning and if they continue then I start deducting time away from whatever activity they choose for that day. If that doesn't work then the next time they want one of their privileges they are grounded from it for that week. Children are getting away with so much more nowadays and it's not right for the parent to sit back and be abused just because it's a "phase". I don't think I would have been so friendly towards the neighbor like you were. You handled the situation well and your daughter apologized for her actions after the fact, showing to you that she did learn something from this matter.
@selby70 (283)
•
27 Feb 08
As a parent of three adults 31, 27 and 20 I would say you are totally right in what you did I would have done the very same thing, and I am glad she gave you an apology as she had no right to interfere in what you do with your children, unless you were abusing them which you were not, if you know what I mean that is the only time anyone has the right to interfere. .
