I have a second family

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This is actually something that means alot to me and causes me alot of stress and worry every single day but feels like it is something out of my control. I am 24 years old and was brought up by just my mother. My Mum and Dad were never married and split up when I was a baby but it was not a bad break up or a hurtful one with no resentment. My Mum and Dad wanted different things from life and I think they had no intention of ever being together for any length of time but a result of their relationship was me. This itself doesn't bother me at all cos I had a Mum who was a brilliant role model and provided everything I could ever need. My Dad married his childhood sweetheart when I was 1 (he would have been 23) and she came with two children, my step sisters, right up until I was 12 I went through there every weekend and spent time with them and I didn't think of my circumstances as strained or unusual and I just accepted that this was the way my family was. I have a big sister who has a different father so I had my two families and I was happy. My father though is not someone who speaks up, he doesn't ask for much and lets his wife make all the decisions so when I was 12 I got accused of stealing jewellery from my step sister and was basically banished. I wasn't picked up that weekend and he never called to speak to me or explain but I knew that I was being punished. When I was 18 or so I made contact again and he claimed to be looking for me, which personally I think is a load of BS cos he could have easily found we in all those years. He knew what area I lived in and he knew what school I attended in the following years but to cut a long story short it turned out that my step sister sold her own jewelerry to fund her drugs and had been quite happy to blame it on me at the time but confessed years later when she didn't think it mattered anymore. So we spoke and met a few times and we lost contact. I have a sister on my dads side of the family that was born when I was 10 so she never really knew me and through a social networking site she contacted me and bullied me into meeting up with the whole family and I think she wanted everything to smell of roses. But..... I know I am 24 and should be more mature than this but to me it feels like so many issues have been left unresolved and I feel so much confusion and hatred that now I can't even bring myself to speak to any of them. Whenever I ask they never explain about anything and it is almost like I have to forgive and forget so easily but how can I when I feel like they walked out on me for the most important parts of my life. Yeah, they knew me as a child but they will never understand who I am now and they didn't experience me really become myself and develop my own character. I just feel like they really expect me to just play at happy families with them and I don't know how I possibly can. They hurt me so much when I was growing up. I was always a Daddys girl. It was always my Dad wthat I had that special bond with. So now I am 24 and I know that he is getting older, I know my sister is getting older too. She is 16 now and as much as I love her to bits she can't understand why I am hurting. She goes on about how much of a fantastic father and person my father is and even although I used to know it I know now that he isn't. I do know that he loves me and I do know that he misses me but he never explains anything, he never phones me, I always phone him and I really do think that him saying he had been looking for me was complete utter rubbish. He has a son, two years older than me, he never speaks to him either, he's my big brother and he has done the same thing to him. Well to tell you the truth he takes a back seat, his wife, Jackie makes all the decisions, she tells him what he should be thinking and feeling and I just don't have any respect for him cos he lets this happen.