Do you give in to your kids every whim?

@snoopy04 (718)
United States
February 29, 2008 12:01pm CST
Zacs and Logans birthdays are coming up in March and I am planning a birthday party for them. I friend of mine is helping me with decoratins and the invitations. I told her what Zac and Logan wanted for thier birthdays and she just shook her head and smiled.She asked me how did I raise such great kids and I told her I dont give in to their every whim. This what my Zac wants for his birthday 1 Hot Wheels car,1 Batman,1 Teenage Mutant Ninjage Turtle and some Moonsand. Thats all he wants no more no less. Logan just wants 1 Hot Wheels Car and a monkey. My friend thought it was wounderful that my kids didnt ask for the moon and expect you to buy it. Her daughter wants the most expensive presents and if she doesnt get it she throws a huge fit. Her daughter is the same age as Erica so she says she wants a ipod,a cell phone, Wii. Anything her friends gets she wants. I love my friend to death but she just cant say no. When my kids go to Walmart or any type of store they dont expect mommy and daddy to buy them a toy just because we are at a store. My husband and I take the kids and walk around the mall to window shop.My kids arent expecting any type of toy just because we go to the mall. If we do on the rare occasion tell my kids they can get a toy they tell us no. My three year old daughter will put the toy back if you give it to her. I see to many friends and family members giving in to their kids every whim and the negative talk that goes along with it. My husbands neices and nephews are spoiled like that and they have the worst reputation of the family. I want my kids to realize that the world is not going to bow down and kiss them in thier behind. You have to work for everything you get and own and your life and that their is nothing wrong with a hards day work. Life is not going to hand you everything on a silver platter, you do have to work for everything you get. I try to instill that with Logan as well because I dont want him to feel sorry for himself and not try because of his disability. I hope one day he can get a job even if its at Mcdonalds and make his own money. I never want to keep him down or make him think he cant reach his own potential. My friend told me to keep up the good work because I was teaching my kids to make something of themselves and not expect everybody else to hand them life on a silver platter. So do you give in to your kids every whim or do you think its ok not to give them everything they think they need.
2 people like this
5 responses
@ersmommy1 (12596)
• United States
29 Feb 08
No I don't. My daughter knows she is loved. We try to instill this in her with actions. Spending time reading with her. Playing games with her etc. Unless it's around Christmas or her birthday (where I make a mental note of things she states she would like, at 4 it's not a big list.) the answer is no.My daughter has favorite activities. Going to the library with her dad, cooking with mommy or her aunt. Playing in her groups or with her cousins. This year she was old enough to decide what toys she no longer uses to give to our local childrens home. She did a great job.I think you are on the right track!
1 person likes this
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
1 Mar 08
Well not really I always evaluate things that might harm them or not.. If she cries and really wants it and I know that she will never hurt herself then I tolerate it.
@chertsy (3804)
• United States
1 Mar 08
If I gave into my kids every whim, I wouldn't have any money. I am straight forward with my kids. When we go to the store, for anything that I need, I tell them, we only have money for what we need on my list and nothing else, so don't ask. I was raised that food, shelter and clothing is all a person needs to survive and everything else is luxary items. Some food items was on the luxary list. I try my best to teach my kids that. Only time they are allowed to get what they want is when they get bday or Christmas money from family. Even then I try to get them to get what I think is best for them. I think with times being on people with prices of everything being high, it's not that hard to tell a child that they can't get everything. You are raising your kids to know that this world doesn't revolve around them which is really good. Wish more parents did this, makes you wonder how this country would have been. I do hope your son wants a stuffed animal that looks like a monkey, because if not, might want to double up on the hot wheels, lol.
@cripfemme (7713)
• United States
29 Feb 08
As a kid, I got tons of stuff. Some I needed, some I wanted, some both (those were the best gifts), but no my parents did not buy me everything. That's not okay to by a kid everything they want, however, I think it's better let them buy their own stuff with allowances that you give them for chores and grades, even if they buy things you don't like. They'll learn financial responsibility.
• United States
29 Feb 08
A parent has to provide the structure that their child needs. This is very important, setting appropriate limits. I believe a child should know that you care about them, their feelings, their point of view, but that they can't have everything their own way. Understanding a need to compromise is, I think, an important lesson. Your children are unusual. Perhaps they see admiration in your eyes when they turn down a toy. Perhaps material things just don't mean that much to them. That, I think, is a blessing. I don't think it is a lesson that is easily imparted to a child.