Do you ever get crushes
By novataylor
@novataylor (6570)
United States
February 29, 2008 3:47pm CST
on people you meet? Like people you might meet here on the Lot? Here you are, fooling around, typing around, responding to comments, getting responses back, and you find some kind of connection. That feeling of connection is pretty much always mutual, so you get on each other's friends list, and you start PMing each other, and things get flirtatious, and before you know it, you're having what amounts to a cyber affair. Has this, or anything similar, happened to you? Will you tell me about it? I'll never judge you or berate you and will be as supportive as I possibly can. So, will you tell me?
15 people like this
41 responses
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Good evening Nova :)) I have actually done some work today if ya have missed me. And I know you have. LMAO I kinda read through your responses thus far, I will go back and enjoy after I post this. Anyway I see everyone is joking and jovial and I sure do not want to kill that mood, but I am going to tell you maybe the darker side to (internet crushes.
I met a man several years ago when I was playing spades online quite often. It was during a period in my marriage that we were really struggling to communicate and had other problems. I got so close to this man who was my partner in spades, we talked on the phone for hours at a time, spent every free moment we had online with each other. I really fell for him as he did me. At the time he was also married but divorcing. I really was not anywhere near divorcing my husband but this attraction was as strong as two people can get. I did meet him, he flew here 2 times to see me and spend time with me. I always stopped short of letting it get completely physical. My marriage deserved that much.
I told my husband finally because I just could not handle it anymore. It was tearing me in two. Of course my husband was devastated. He was broken I had never seen him like that. To show you what kind of a man my husband really is, he gave me the space to figure all of this out on my own. He even met the man and is now friends with him.
What it came down to is that I really love my husband. he is my one true love. there was something missing at the time of this flirtation and intense courtship, in my life. I do not fault my husband for it was my own inadequacies. I choose my husband.
let me tell you though Nova, my heart was crushed as was my friends. This is a dangerous game if you are in a committed relationship. If my husband had not been the man he is, I would have lost the very love of my life. This was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. It took me a year before I could talk to my friend again with out my heart being tugged as if it was quartered and drawn in all directions. We are all friends now but I still have to keep myself in check.
Online cheating is still cheating. Even if there is no real physical conntact, your are giving something away that belongs to your spouse. Your emotional support is with drawn.
Now don't get me wrong here, I am an incorrigible flirt, and I can get down and obnoxious with the best of them. I love to give the fellas a rise... I just know where the boundaries are now. I do not cross it. Its not worth it.
Man you are nosy :)))) LMAO LOVE YA
3 people like this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Oh Sugar, I did not mean that you meant anything more then what you have stated. I just wanted to say there is a dangerous side to online crushes. Thats all :))) Other then that, Baby I am right here with you wallowing in the gutter :)))
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Well, my goodness, Angel, where do I start? First, thank you for this remarkable story and for the wisdom it offers. Your cyber-affair went much, much further than anything I have in mind, certainly. What I'm talking about is nothing so serious as that. Not even close. My flirtations are just that. Flirtations. They are fun, and I enjoy the hell out of them, and intend to continue doing so. But the warning you give is taken to heart, my friend, and I thank you for opening yourself up like this and sharing what you have.
Um, if you were to quit giving the fellas a rise, darlin, there would be many, many disappointed fellas out there. So, keep typing. Just keep typing.
Yes, I am nosy, Angel. And curious. And interested. And, well, after all, this is me, you know. Sister in smut. Gutter dweller. Voyeur. Ah, I hang my head in shame. Ok, actually so I can get a better look at that a$$. lol ;-)
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
1 Mar 08
I don't really know, Nova my friend. I guess I'm just too innocent for that stuff, maybe I'm just enjoying and just too friendly?!LoL
Respect is what I have for people here, be it crushes or friends and I always do my best to share some humor with them. Though there are times that I'm not that funny, I just want to let them know that I'm glad to have met them and share whatever it is that I could.
And if someone would think or treat of me like that, then I guess I must be doing good here and I won't stop doing that lest they don't want to hear anything from me at all!;)
@raijin (10345)
• Philippines
2 Mar 08
Shucks, now I can't find the right words to say here!;)
But I know you've heard of the saying that, "age doesn't matter." What matters is the maturity a person has, in all aspects of their being!;)
You know that I'm all out for fun here, I only care less of what other people would think or say in what we do here as long as we know that we haven't stepped on someone else. Sometimes, we get to learn new things from stuffs we talk about. Call it flirting or just a simple conversation, I enjoyed and hope to enjoy more from of it!;)
Take care my friend, pangga/waswit/mahal!;)
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Raijin, your presence here brings me such delight, as you well know. You never waver in the respect you bring to each and every answer you post, and in the humor that you unfailingly add to those answers. I know that a couple of us have gotten a bit flirtatious with you, and if you were a few years older, you might just have to watch out. But, alas, you are a young babe, and are relatively safe from the clutches of women like me. :) And you are definitely doing good here, and if I ever stop hearing from you, I shall feel a hole in my life that won't be filled by anyone else. I love your posts and always look forward to them, my waswit pangga mahal!
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
5 Mar 08
They are only minor, barely anything. Just like I told xboxboy, I'm not naming or giving clues. But then again, some of my posting might give it away to the very observant. (Hmm, or perhaps I've not looked at it carefully enough...)
Now to talk freely.
How'd I miss this thread? Seems like all the cool people threads happen when I decide to not go on mylot for a few days. I'm also a bit sad... I'm not crush material it seems. Or maybe I didn't read the clues good enough. And after all the posting, helping and fun I've done... so sad T_T. Well not really. Its alright, honestly. Its just something I noticed, but nothing that major. I'm still me.
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
5 Mar 08
How can you say you're not crush material, progamer???? You're young, gorgeous, and you have a brain, for goodness sake! And that's just the tip of the iceberg. So don't say that you're not crush material. 'cause you are.
Re missing this thread - I don't know how you missed it, but I'm so glad that you finally got here. When I saw that you had posted here, I jumped right in to see what you wrote and answer you. I'm supposed to be on the phone right now, but I'm typing to you instead. I wish you'd give us a clue as to your crush, progamer. Come on, tell.... Ok, you don't have to, but I think it's great if you have a crush. They are so fun, and harmless, and what's the point if you can't have fun, anyway? Flirtation is good for the soul, honey, so don't hold back.
Thanks for stopping by. I'm truly glad to see you.
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Xboxboy, I think it makes you exactly my kind of man, darlin! A little weird, but terribly exciting and adventurous, and clearly very strong, to fantasize such a bacchanal as this. Hmmm, if you care to share any details of that fantasy, feel free.......
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Ahem, I daresay Goodie is right, Xbox, darlin, so eat that protein and start working out! We're hungry, and you're looking so sweet..........
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
16 Mar 08
No I can't say that anything like that has happened to me. It would be okay if it did happen because it would only be in fun and it is only on the computer and not in person. And as long as the other person doesn't take it serious and stalk you or something. You talk about this because.... it is happening to you? Are you trying to see if other members here thinks it's okay? Well I think it is okay and I am sure so would most others here. It could actually be fun. lol
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
18 Mar 08
Thank you, chrislotz, but I'm not trying to get permission from any other members here for anything. I have some little crushes that have developed here and I just love each and every one of them. They are what they are - harmless flirtations that bring many smiles and giggles and lightness of heart. I wanted to know how many other people have experienced the same thing as I and how they enjoyed their own crushes. I also thought it would be a way for some people to talk about their crushes, maybe make some admissions, and fess up a little. They say confession is good for the soul, lol. And you're right, chris, it is fun - you should try it, that is, if you haven't already............:)
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
5 Mar 08
Well, I wouldn't equate myself with Pam Anderson, that's for sure. If that's what you're visualizing, then you're way off. lol
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Oh, absolutely, balasri! In fact, my own blood has had quite a few rushes this morning, answering these responses, my dear, quite a few. What a delightful way to start the day! So glad you responded here - I hope to see you again soon.
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I have, of course, accepted your friends request, balasri, and am honored to have gotten it. Thank you.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
29 Feb 08
Damn I typed out a right funny response and guess what the site went down! Grrrr, I see if I can remember it. I don't have crushes now but as you know I lovvvvvvvvvvvve to flirt, because it's all harmless fun, my friends and sisters know exactly where they stand with me! I don't have crushes on anyone that stage has gone, I am not the crushable type. But in my youth many eons ago I would always fall in love with the wrong people, those that batted for the wrong side as it were. There was this lovely person called Chris who had all the qualities I wanted in a partner and I really really had a terrible crush, we even flirted together! I think Chris knew about me anyhow and his other half actually worked in the same office, I have never seen envy rear it's ugly head before but I was soooooo envious of her! Trust me eh, always falling for the wrong types. That's why I've given up, I leave crushes for my lovely friends here on Mylot xx
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
29 Feb 08
I hear you and I feel your arms, Wolfie, and thank you. I'm sighing as I type.
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Oh, Wolfie, don't you know how many people here have a crush on you? Geez, don't be so blind. Go over some of your responses, and take a look at them, and see what you see. You never know....
Btw, I'm one of those people, Wolfie, she says, shyly.
@dierdre (2207)
• Philippines
1 Mar 08
ah nope, never felt "attracted" to someone based on how they answer questions,i appreciate them if they respond sensibly but thats pretty much it. im a "visual" kinda person, i have to be physically attracted first before getting interested in a certain person.
@dierdre (2207)
• Philippines
2 Mar 08
oh i see that's why.words have a powerful effect on you. too bad, i dont read books anymore. unless its self-help or something useful to me.novels are way too time consuming, id rather spend it in front of the pc.so im guessing you're a sensitive type of person as well?
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
2 Mar 08
Yes, I think you could safely say that I'm a sensitive type of person.
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
2 Mar 08
You're not alone in this, dierdre, I know many people who feel the same way. A question for you - do you love to read, and do you have a favorite author, one who you look forward to each new book written, the excitement of opening that first page and beginning? Words can have great power for me, dierdre, whether in books or simply on the pages of the Lot, and there are some here who I so look forward to reading, like opening a present.
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
29 Feb 08
There are a few people with sharp tongues and razor edged wit on this site that sometimes leave my breathing a little heavier. Sadly the majority of them are women :)
There is this one particular gentleman though.....
I shall say no more. LOL
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Nope, my lips are sealed :) But I seriously adore the way this man comes across in his comments and he is always at the ready with a witty response. I told him yesterday in a comment session we were having that seeing him type he likes watching me get things off my chest made me moist. lol
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Oh honey, I so know what you mean, believe me. One or two or so people can get me positively weak, and very, very moist.
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
29 Feb 08
One particular gentleman, Cyn? And who might that be? come on, darlin, fess up to mama. No one else will know. lol Maybe this is just the place for all of us to 'come out', hmmm? What do you think?
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
29 Feb 08
I never could resist having just one more peek. Me have a cyber crush? Well, I think that with some people it is very easy, but of course it takes two to tango. If your crush responds then that can be the start of something quite beautiful. Of course you and I being such shrinking violets would never get on anybody's crush list would we.
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
29 Feb 08
speaking of crush....where is that tribute to my thighs you promised me :P
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Yes, Cyn, I've also been waiting for that, but I think he might be working on it. Either that or something equally exciting and naughty, I'm sure. He won't let you down, I can almost promise you.
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
29 Feb 08
I so know what you mean about having one last peek, p1kefish! I'm unable to resist just one more, then just one more too. Oh well, such is the Lot. And no, darlin, not us! Never would we be on anyone's crush list, never happen, no way, no how. Oh brother, I can't even type that with a straight face! Ha! Ooooh, I love my cyber crushes so much. There! I've said it. I have cyber crushes. I hang my head, guilty, guilty, guilty.
1 person likes this
@vulgarlittleprincess (919)
• Canada
1 Mar 08
I have a ton of online crushes, perhaps because people pay more attention to me online than in real life. I also have real life crushes on people who live no where near me. Too bad I can not find a cursh in a ten mile radius.
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Well, vulgarlittleprincess, don't stop looking! Crushes are everywhere and we must take them where we find them. They're usually harmless, and bring so much fun into our lives, I say go for it, darlin. You will find that crush within your l0 mile radius, I'm sure of it, absolutely sure. And hey, welcome to Mylot!
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Well, you know how men are about directions, princess! He'll find his way to you, though, all in good time.
This is a really good place, true enough, and I well know what you mean about not having enough time to do all the posts that you'd like to do. The thing is, it's really worth doing them, you know? It's really gratifying when you start a discussion, and you actually get responses to it, and quite clever ones, too. Responding to each of them can get tiring, but it's a labor of love, as far as I'm concerned. I'm just so touched that people bother to answer, to put themselves out there like that, and I feel something for each and every one. Newbies like yourself are always so welcome. A discussion like this one, with all the responses, is a good place to interact with some of the posters, and get some friendships started. I started out with just 3 friends, two of which were the same person, oddly enough, but my circle of friends has grown by leaps and bounds and continues to do so almost every day. I of course, have a smaller circle of friends who I correspond with the most, but I'm always open to new friends. Keep posting, keep typing, and keep having fun!
@vulgarlittleprincess (919)
• Canada
1 Mar 08
Thank you for the welcome :) I reall like it here. Some days are just too busy to post a bunch tho.
Some day my prince will come, I am sure of it, right now he is just a little lost. I think someone may have given him the wrong directions.
@MissOrlz (51)
• Ireland
1 Mar 08
I was on a different site... A social networking site... And I met this guy, and we started chatting, exchanged email addresses, started IMing, sent Valentines cards, now he's plannin on getting a working holiday visa to come over to be with me, (he lives in australia).... Some people just have a connection straight away...
Souls know when they have found their mate ;)
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
MissOrlz, I think that's wonderful! So exciting, isn't it, thinking of him actually being here, right in front of you, so you can touch, for real, and kiss, and look into each other's eyes? Oh, I'm so happy for you, darlin. If you don't mind, please give us an update on it and let us know how it goes. Many of us will be wondering just how this one worked out - it might give hope to many, you just never know. Thanks so much for weighing in here, and welcome to Mylot!
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Oh, I know you have, it's so clear. I'm a little afraid for you, MissOrlz, you're so fragile right now. Try not to over think things, and leave those exes where they belong, which is in the past, darlin. All this guy needs to know right now, is the here and now and the what will be.
@MissOrlz (51)
• Ireland
1 Mar 08
Hey thanks for the support....
We had a bit of a rough patch today, something to do with an ex of mine....
I thought that I'd lost him :( but we've kinda sorted it out now...
I know that I'm never going to lose him, and I never want to do anything that would jeopordise our relationship....
I really have fallen SO much in love with him :D
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
1 Mar 08
I honestly know exactly what you mean, it is almost inevitable. I think it is perfectly natural when we flirt we draw close and because there is no reality to put us off we tend to go so much deeper, it has happened to me, it will happen again for that im sure. The trick is to remember that it is an on line thing
blessed be xx
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Hello, Eskarena, my sweet friend, I knew you'd be here! Yay! It is almost inevitable, isn't it? And for natural born flirts like us, it's surely inevitable! I love the absence of reality here, in the relationships we forge, as it leaves open so much room for flights of fancy and lovely flirtations to delight and tickle us. But no truer words were ever spoken, darlin, than that trick you speak of. We must take care not to let our hearts be bruised and broken and stepped upon. But I think that for the most part, doing what we do here, simply brings an opportunity for our hearts to be stroked, and given tender kisses, and those little electric zings that are just so much fun! I'm not stopping any day soon, are you? No? I didn't think so. Whew, thank goodness! ;)
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Absolutely OK, Sissygrl! I have to say, I'm rather surprised that it hasn't happened to you, but I think it'd be a fair bet to say that there have been crushes on you. Poor darlings, unrequited love can be so devastating. You're such a heartbreaker, Sissy. ;-)
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
1 Mar 08
I've had a couple of crushes that started on mylot, but nothing that I would think could be called a cyber affair. The first person I had a crush on didn't even know, I think, and we didn't talk off mylot at all, except my responses to her blog. Still, I definitely had a crush on her.
The second person I've been pretty obvious about having a crush on, and talked to via other mediums that mylot, but I wouldn't call it an affair.
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
1 Mar 08
*nods* I think of crushes as fun, light, good-natured feelings. The word "crush" itself makes me think of junior high. :P
I even started a discussion about having a mylot crush many many months ago, and was amazed at how many people scolded me for having a crush when I have a husband. My reasoning was "But if he isn't upset that I have a crush, when I told him, why should you be upset for him?" *rolls her eyes* It's funny how many people think they have the right to decide for you and your spouse what is okay in YOUR relationship.
Of course, since my husband and I are moderately serious about eventually being in a polyamorous relationship again... it's possible I could take something beyond a crush if the situation was right. But not without proper permissions.
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Hi, lecanis, I'm so glad to see you here, darlin. For me, the whole point of crushes is the pleasure and the tickles that they bring into my life. Such harmless and still sexually charged pleasure they are for me. I probably wouldn't go so far as to call any of my crushes an affair, ok, maybe one, but they are something I enjoy and look forward to. As long as no one is harmed, and everyone is happy, then I say go for it. I hope you continue to enjoy yours as long as it works for you.
1 person likes this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Yes, a lot of people are entirely too judgmental, lecanis, that's for sure. But at least we have the luxury of choosing to disregard their moralistic bullshite, don't we? I'd be interested to know about this polyamorous (great word for it) relationship you and your husband are considering getting back into. You've spoken about this kind of thing before, and I find it fascinating how you can so well balance it.
1 person likes this
@bond0077 (375)
•
4 Mar 08
Oh Novataylor are you flirting with me?i am turn'in red with a blushing my lady,we are not that different in our number of years,but i have to say if you were available i might be incline to sweep you off your feet,like a sailor who hasn't seen his woman for many months at sea.and it would well worth the wait.are you a leo?or gemini?
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Yes, I believe I am, bond. Hmmm, I'll have to check out that difference in years........
And sweep away, I love being swept off my feet! I love the way you describe the sailor.
I am a cancer - a July baby, born during the hottest summer on record. And you?
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
4 Mar 08
Hey, I just checked your profile, and you are exactly the same age as my husband! So, not too young after all. I do love younger men. Ok, I just love men, period. Well, some of you, a lot of you. I mostly just love having fun and this type of thing is right up my alley, as you can see, right there in plain view, in my posts here on the Lot. :)
@DevilHands (573)
• Philippines
1 Mar 08
Yes I do... in fact it had been 7 years already and she's still the girl I like even though we don't get to see each other anymore since she's on a different college. I never confess my love for her because of my stupid pride :( . Now I am kinda regretting what I did and it's a bit too late. Haiz...
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Devilhands, what is it you are regretting? Writing this down here or not confessing your love for her? Because, if it's the latter, then get off your butt and do it! Love unspoken is love unrequited, and love unrequited is horrible.
And please, could you tell me what haiz means? I'm assuming it's peace or something similar, but I'd like to know, if you wouldn't mind......
@DevilHands (573)
• Philippines
2 Mar 08
Haiz... it's like another way of saying sigh... haha.
Actually it really is too late, I don't have any contacts of her . Even if I do, starting now would be too weird! I don't even know if she has a boyfriend already. Let's just say I don't even know if she likes me, for me it just started out as a friend kind of thing and develop into something.
I wasn't able to see her 3 years already after graduating high school btw...
@chazsgirl (256)
• United States
2 Apr 08
I am married but I had a crush on someone recently but I think it was just nothing and I wasn't getting what I needed at home, although I still think of him! I would love to tell him, hey I have no reason I can't, other than he's married, but I am sure he would blush and laugh it off!
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
4 Apr 08
He just might love to hear about it, chazsgirl. Why don't you go ahead and tell him? And are you getting what you need now? What about the crush - do you still have it? You know, I see nothing wrong with a little innocent flirting, and if you need that kind of thing in your life, like I do, then where's the harm? It can be so fun, and validating, and self-esteem building, so why not? I'm really touched that you told me this. I feel that you've shared something that really means something to you, and thank you, so much.
@chazsgirl (256)
• United States
4 Apr 08
Well to be honest life is alittle hard for me, and the person that I like is/was my boss at the job that fired me. I think in a different circumstance he would totally go for me, due to the fact that we were really close and told each other everything and that he cried when he had to fire me. It wasn't his choice and he tried to do it without crying but he cried and that made it harder on me but i atleast knew that 1 person would be sad that I left. I know no one stuck up for me but he has a new baby and a wife and she has 2 boys so he really needs his job. but he is the cutiest little guy. Ya got me thinkin! Anyway I wrote him a letter thanking him for everything that he has done for me for the past 2yrs we worked together and I gave it to him the other day. we don't talk and I only get my meds there now so we see each other very rarely but I would love to just grr...... you know I don't want to share stuff with everyone but just a kiss would make my day! hey also friends share things! besides only 2 people know I liked him, I played it off every other time like I didn't! Silly but favortizium(hopefully spelled right) was jumping around with us both and no need to make people talk more!
