My Friend Returned With Sad News - Update.
By Darkwing
@Darkwing (21583)
March 1, 2008 2:28pm CST
At last, my friend returned from comforting our mutual friends, tired and distressed. His news was not good, but he contacted me straight away to let me know the details of what had happened when our expectant friend took a fall.
She was seven months pregnant, and they were over the moon about the coming child they had been trying for, for so many years. Elation and joy turned to tears and fear, when she took a fall, last Sunday, down a short flight of stairs, and lay, losing blood at the foot of them. Hubby got her to hospital, and sat and waited most of the night. The news was not good... in fact, it was heartbreaking for them. She had fractured her pelvis falling; not only that, she had damaged her uterus and the baby didn't have the strength to pull through... poor little lamb. :(
Naturally, both are devastated since their elation turned to grief in a few short moments. Not only that, she is still in the hospital having treatment for her fracture and undergoing tests, to see if she will ever be able to conceive again, because of her damaged uterus. My heart goes out to them, because even I'm unable to fight back the tears when I see the little clothes, nappies and other bits and bobs I got them. How must they feel with baby things in the house, not knowing if they'll ever be able to expect the arrival of another child?
I feel so deeply sorry for them, yet helpless to do anything which will take away the grief. All I can do is to light my candle, and send prayers and energies of healing and comfort to them, in the hope that the doctors will give them just one little ray of hope to cling to. I hope you will join me in sending these energies, and apologise for having to be the bearer of such bad news. How I wish it could have been better, but I guess all we can do here, is to send our energies and offer our full support.
Life goes on for us, my dear friends. Brightest Blessings in the hope that the light will brighten your paths always. I'm so glad our paths crossed for such is the support and love of all my friends in here, I know I'll never face anything in life, alone, as long as I can make it into Mylot.
Thank you for showing an interest in my friends, and indeed, in me. Lots of love to you all. xx
3 people like this
13 responses
@jbrooks (264)
• United States
1 Mar 08
i am so sorry to hear of your friends lose. it is extremely painful to lose a child as i have lost my son when he was born. your friend is in my prayers and if you need to talk i am here for you or even if your friend wishes to talk then feel free to email me
@Darkwing (21583)
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2 Mar 08
Awwwww, I'm sorry dear friend, that I brought back a painful memory for you, and will keep you in my prayers too. I lost my first grandchild, and I think that's why I can feel the pain for them, as can you, especially as they may never be able to have another child together. I can't imagine their grief if it turns out that way.
Thank you for your offer of somebody to talk to... yes, I think I'd like that, as I have a few questions which I think you might be able to answer. But above all else, I don't want to stir your pain for you again. I think my friend is facing quite a long stay in hospital with her fractured pelvis. It's not something they can do a lot about, apart from rest and subsequent physio to help her walk again, and that's on top of the mental stress all this must have caused her.
Anyway, enough said... I have to try and remain strong for them, and my close friend who is due for his scan tomorrow. Thank you for joining with us all in prayer, in the hope that we can give them the comfort and peace within themselves to move on with their lives, and grow spiritually, and also that they are given that little ray of hope for future children.
Brightest Blessings and thank you very much for your support. x
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
3 Mar 08
I'm please to hear that... it always helps to talk. My grandson left our lives some eleven years ago now. Last September would have been his eighteenth birthday, but we managed to get past that. We release helium balloons and watch them float to him, on all his birthdays, and also, light a lantern at his resting place. We never refuse to talk about him either... always reviving memories, and it helps tremendously.
Brightest Blessings, in love and in light. x
@Darkwing (21583)
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2 Mar 08
Thank you dear Lecanis, that in the midst of your own life concerns, you have afforded the time and energies to help my friends come to terms with all this. I am truly touched at your compassion here, and yes, hope is the only thing they have again now... I pray that they are not dashed with a few words. I'm relying on new technologies and perhaps even a "miracle" for them, to balance their lives again.
You and Dustin are in my thoughts too, at this time, as are all the other mothers and fathers who have encountered similar feelings of grief and fear, that they all find the strength and peace of mind to refind their paths, and walk on in light and spiritual growth. Brightest Blessings, my dear friend. xxx
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
1 Mar 08
My lovely Friend I am so sorry to read this I really am and my thoughts are with them
I just hope that she will be able to conceive again
This is so awful I thought that the Baby might survive poor little Sweetheart
I of course join you sending those Energies and Hopes
Hugs and Love to you xxxxxx
@Darkwing (21583)
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2 Mar 08
I thought and hoped the baby may have been strong enough to survive, having gone that long too, my dear friend.
The problem is that she is so petite, and with all the extra weight, probably fell quite hard. The fractured pelvis is an additional nightmare because it takes a very long time of resting to get over that enough, and physio, to walk again. Meantime, they are apart, and both having to deal with this more or less on their own. Whatever her friends do or say, will not take away that feeling of guilt for falling, and the change from elation to grief for both of them. But, the clock can't be turned back, and all we can do is join hands in sending them all the strength and comfort we can, that they can begin to grow spiritually again. Thank you for your participation in that... and please bear in mind too, the poor little lost lamb who never got to know its parents. :(
Brightest Blessings, love and hugs. xxxx
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
1 Mar 08
Brought tears to my eyes Darkwing and I am so sorry to hear about their loss. I will keep them in my prayers (((HUGS)))
2 people like this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
2 Mar 08
I'm so, so sorry Darkwing...I just read this.
I woke up last night at 2:47 a.m. and thought of the baby for some reason and your other discussion.
Now I'm reading this and I feel just horrible for that family. Why things happen we'll never know. Please accept my Deepest Sympathy and send that forward to your friends, and again I'm so sorry.
I don't know what else to say, my heart feels broken.
@Darkwing (21583)
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3 Mar 08
Yes, I know how you feel, my friend. My heart too is breaking for them. They are such lovely people, and I was so happy for them. They seemed to pass the elation on. Now, it's all gone, for whatever reason. I'm holding back my anger at the moment, but I have some perhaps unfounded thoughts on this, which don't really bear thinking about, and I pray I'm wrong. I have to keep my concentration on my poor friends, and on sending them energies of strength and comfort, in the hope that they will be able to try again.
Brightest Blessings. xxx
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
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4 Mar 08
Thank you for those words of support, my dear friend. It's a very long story and I only wish I could speak to my friend about it, but he will say I'm reading too much into this, and probably go off on one, without first putting out feelers as to whether I'm right. The truth is, deep down, he will believe what I think, although he won't want to involve me, or put me in danger. Therefore, he shrugs it off as my reading too much into things. He's odd like that. :)
However, I certainly need to get a few opinions on my thoughts from friends who understand my train of thought, and thank you for your offer of an ear. I don't think you will be able to physically help in this instance, for it's an ongoing thing, which I have to deal with in whichever way I can. There's one thing is for sure, this would be the last straw in a saga which has gone on for some six years, and I HAVE to get to the bottom of it, for my friends as well as myself.
Brightest Blessings, and yes, I do know about the Fire, but my sign is an Air sign, which although it feeds the Fire, it also cools the soul. :)
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
4 Mar 08
"Unfounded thoughts"...when you are ready, I will be here for you and help in any way that is possible. Just remember that it's not good in any way to let the fires devour us, and they do eventually. Take care my sister.
@deeeky (3667)
• Edinburgh, Scotland
3 Mar 08
I can imagine the pain and grief at the same time when falling down them stairs and the resulting consequences that happened. It will take many years of heartache to come to terms with losing a loved one to be and hope all goes well for her health.
Blessings my friend.
@Darkwing (21583)
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3 Mar 08
Yes, I'm sure it will take forever to come to terms with not only the loss, but the feeling of guilt she must have, as well as the utter desperation of losing the baby after seven months of joyful preparation for its welcome into the World. I'm hoping against hope now, that modern medical science will be able to perform a "miracle" repair to the damaged uterus, so that at least they can have some hope for future parenthood.
I'm heartbroken for them, to say the least. I've put away all the baby things I had here to make their Nappy Cake, because they are a constant reminder, so goodness knows how she will feel when she gets home from the hospital. They need to grieve together, and share plenty of hugs and tears, and so far, her injuries have prevented them for doing that.
Brightest Blessings, my dear friend, and thank you for your input.
@Bev1986 (1425)
• United States
3 Mar 08
Oh how very, very heartbreaking.... I will say a prayer for the family. I can not even imagine going through something like that. You are right, it will be so difficult going home and seeing all of the little things there that will remind them of their loss.
@Darkwing (21583)
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3 Mar 08
Especially difficult for her, I think. She is probably carrying a feeling of guilt as it is, and those things are a reminder to her. I just hope my friend had the foresight to help him put them out of sight for at least a while, until they can both come to terms with things a little better. I guess they will never really understand why it happened, and all we can hope for is that the damage to her uterus can be repaired enough for them to make it to parenthood one day soon.
Brightest Blessings, and thank you for joining me in sending prayers to give them strength and comfort in their time of grief. I appreciate that very much.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
7 Mar 08
How dreadful. And how very sad. The poor dear lady will no doubt be tormented by her loss with every ache and pain she feels. I will join you if I may in sending energy and prayers also...I see us with heads bowed and holding hands, united in this sadness and filled with the light of hope and love which we send to your dear friend and her husband. Blessed be.
@Darkwing (21583)
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7 Mar 08
Yes, she will be tormented my dear friend, not only with every ache and pain, but every time she climbs and descends the stairs, and every time she sees some little reminder in her home. They were so elated at finally conceiving after many years of trying, that I can't imagine their grief, and to lose the baby in such a way, and probably not being able to have more, must be tearing them apart inside. My heart aches for them.
That's how I see us, my friend, and I'm just hoping that the light and energies we produce might just give them that little ray of hope to cling to, for without that, they have nothing. I haven't heard whether she's home yet, and they're able to hug and grieve together, but pelvic fractures take a good while to heal, and require complete rest, then physio to help you walk again, so I doubt it. It must make matters even worse, to have to grieve alone and separately, over their loss.
Thank you for joining us with your energies and prayers my dear friend. I really appreciate all the love and kindness to be found amongst my friends in Mylot. I will never regret joining this site, nor will I ever leave it, for it is my Happy Haven.
I hope your health is improving and that Spring brings you much happiness and comfort. Brightest Blessings, love and hugs. x
@mummymo (23706)
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2 Mar 08
Oh Darkwing sweetheart how absolutely tragic and distressing for your friends and all who know them! My heart aches for the pain they must be feeling, I can only imagine the devastation that they are feeling and of course I will keep them in my prayers. I was so hopeful that all would be well and although the news is so awful thank you so much for bringing us this update. I pray that they have some hope for the future! xxx
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
3 Mar 08
Yes, tragic and distressing are two very fitting words, my dear friend. I had an awful feeling that things might be lost, but hoped that even if the baby might be deformed in some way, it would find its way into the loving world these guys would have prepared for it. But, my hopes were dashed, as were theirs. I feel so helpless. All I can do is send energies and prayers their way in the hope that they can find the strength to deal with this, and the comfort they need right now. Thank you for joining with me in that... I really do appreciate it, for I believe there is power in numbers.
You'e welcome to the update... I promised you I'd let you know, even though it pains me every time I come in here. Everybody is so understanding and caring, that it touches my heart. Brightest Blessings, in hoping they find that little ray of hope, my dear friend. xxxxx
@raydene (9871)
• United States
2 Mar 08
Oh that is so sad. I hope you don't mind if I cry for a bit with you. I do know that everything that happens in this world does for a reason although we often can not see why.There is some reason this little one was needed by the angels but it is so sad that the parents weren't given a chance to know their child.
I also hope that everyone lucky enough to have a little bundle will give them the love and appreciate having them a bit more today knowing the plight of others.
I am so very sorry..I wish I could say more.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
3 Mar 08
Yes, you may cry with me for a bit, my dear friend. (Huggggggs). I cry every time I come into this discussion, because people are so understanding and helpful.
Yes, everything does happen for a reason and there is a reason for everything, but why them? They were so lifted and happy at the expectancy of this child, and it all ended in heartbreak. It's not as though it wouldn't have been cared for... they have tried for so long. Now, they might never have a chance to prove themselves as parents. I'm just hoping against hope that new medical technology will find a way to repair the damage, so that they might one day become parents. There is an awful underlying story here, which I can't keep my mind off. I know my friend would tell me I'm reading too much into it, but my intuitions won't let go of it, and it makes me brim up with anger.
However, for the immediate moments, I have to put that to one side, and concentrate on sending my energies and love to the grieving parents in the hope that I can afford them the strength and comfort they so need just now.
Brightest Blessings, love and hugs. xxxx
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
1 Mar 08
How heart-wrenching Darkwing...it goes to show you how precious and fragile life can be. One minute filled with joy and expectation like your friend's wife expecting their first child after so many years of waiting, and then in a flash that hope gone. I'll say some prayers that even with the physical damage she sustained from her fall, that by some miracle she can once again have a child..please keep us updated about the news, all right?
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
2 Mar 08
Yes... even heart-wrenching is a mild word, my dear friend. I think we all have to pray for the "miracle" and that little ray of hope which they so badly need just now. I can't imagine how she must be feeling, and the fact that they can't be at home together to grieve, brings much pain to my heart. It matters not what others do or say, my feeling is that they need to be able to hug and grieve together.
In that vein, I am hoping we can lift any desperate feelings of guilt she might have about the fall, and the loss of this precious little treasure of her life, and give them strength and peace of mind to carry on, and grow spiritually. Thank you for joining me Pye, in prayer and the sending of energies to these lovely people... I am indeed grateful.
Brightest Blessings my dear friend, and yes, of course I will keep you updated on any news. x
@Bethany1202 (3431)
• United States
2 Mar 08
My thoughts go out to them, best wishes.
Even if she cannot conceive, perhaps they could consider adoption. I know it is not quite the same, but it's an option, and those children need parents too. They could bring ray of hope and light into an "unwanted" child's life as well.
Hopeing for the best for your friends, sorry to hear this horrible news. :(
@Darkwing (21583)
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3 Mar 08
Yes, they could adopt, and no, it wouldn't be the same after all the years, and with the memory of this little one still engraved on their hearts. Maybe time will heal, but losing a child is the most heart-rending thing in the World, believe me. I just hope against hope that they will be given a second chance, because seven months is one awful long time to have gone, and bonded with the unborn child, especially as they had been trying for such a very long time.
Brightest Blessings, and thank you for your input.
