A Long lost parent returns.Woud you welcome them back?

I actually have this experience every couple years. My biological father who is not around that much and was never really in my life per sa reappears and wants to be dad. I'm sorry, but no thanks and you can't buy me although he tries. Getting money from him just upsets me. Now I give it to charity or friends in need. Last year, when he sent me money for Christmas, which I never asked for by the way I never speak to him to ask for anything in fact I never speak to him at all, I opted to give it to my transgendered friend so she could undergo laser treatments, which are too expensive for her to pay for on her own. I almost wrote my father a letter just to tell him what I did with his money just to irritate him. But then I decided that just might encourage him to write me more which I didn't want. I don't even want him to have my address but someone gave it to him without asking me, by the way. When I move, which I will hopefully do soon, I'll tell people not to tell him where I am. Although I supposed he could use forwarding in the post office.

I would think the situation over very carefully before making a decision. I am 43 years old and have never known my father. My mother has not had the decency to even discuss him with me. The tidbits of information that I did get from her was many years ago, when I had no idea of how to find him. Now, I have two daughters who have a grandfather that they have no clue even exists. As far as they know, my stepfather (who by the way, has been a wonderful father to me for the past 35 years) is their grandfather. All that said, there is still a part of me that wants to know who my biological father is, and why he was never a part of my life. I suspect that my mother and my grandmother are the reasons that he was not there for me. I think that maybe my mother never told him that she was pregnant with me. My grandmother insinuated once that my father may have raped my mother on a blind date. Even if that is the case, I think I have the right to know the details, and if I ever have the chance to meet him, I will hear his side of the story before jumping to any kind of conclusion. My husband tells me that I should pursue it, but I have not had the heart to do so.

well wht ever it is i will accept them in my life because they are my parents might at youngf they got any trouble so they didnot camed too me. but i will say nothing to them

That would be a tough one. I think I'd be happy to know who they are and be able to resolve the questions in that part of my life but I wouldn't have any bonds to them...simply b/c I wouldn't know them from Adam. I have a sister that I haven't seen in over 20 years. I know very little about her. She has 2 children and lives by my Dad (his daughter from his second marriage). Although I'm glad I know who she is and that she is part of my family...I really don't know her. I have no big bonds to her. She is coming down next month with her kids, my Dad and Stepmom...although I'm happy about seeing my Dad and Stepmom...I'm not really worried about seeing her...I don't really know her enough to be worried or nervous. She says she's excited b/c we're sisters but for me...I don't know...it's like meeting a stranger. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~

That happened to my kids and each reacted differently. The oldest did not talk to him for 8 years...last thanksgiving she finally met with him...she told him if he does that again she'll never speak to him. The youngest daughter has always forgiven him...so they have always been in contact even if he hardly sees her.....my son said what you did...in much different words I must add!

When I was 11 my mother dragged my father and all 3 of us kids from NY all the way to AZ just to pretty much divorce him for another guy. My dad took up back to NY however along the way we ended up in MO. Anyways, my mother never tried to get us back. For about 7 years we rarely talked to her and never seen her one time. My senior year in school she moves back to NY(we moved back to ny after 3 years in mo) and finds us. It was very hard to accept her back into my life. To this day I still have issues with her. I dont think I can ever truly forgive her for that. I talk to her now but nothing like I would if she was always there for me. And what makes me the maddest is you think she would have learned from her mistakes. The guy she left us for shes still with and he rules her life, she cant even take her own grandchildren without him having a baby attack. So basically she still chooses him over all of us.

That's hard to say. At first I need to know why my parent will leave me as it is too irresponsible. If my parent doesn't have a good enough reason, I am afraid I can't forgive it. I will keep cool to my parent because he/she left me when I was a child only. It really hurt me.

yes I would welocme them back and akso the trace my brother and sister