Who does the washing up in your house?

@flowie (134)
South Africa
March 4, 2008 7:33am CST
I usaly do the cooking, and my wife is suppose to clean after me, but she never does, doesn't this make you angry? I always thought it is a fair deal, but maby i am being selfish, i am not sure what to think about this, i also work all day at the office, and she lies on her ars in bed, playing on her labtop, all day long, when i get home she doens't even get up to greet me. I think she is depressed, and now she is just drinking, and i cant support us anymore, my credit cards are all finished and we have no money left to survive on. All she can do is strip, but she got to fat from laing on the bed, and drinking beer al the time. And that is not all, she farts all the time, i cant even sleep next to her any more. Do any of you have a simalar sutuation or have been in a sutuation like this, and what did you do about it. O, i do love my wife.
1 person likes this
16 responses
@gemini_rose (16268)
4 Mar 08
I agree with you on the part that if you do the cooking then your wife should at least help clean up after, as a family we all have our different chores that we do to help each other and keep our house clean. Maybe she is depressed, it sounds like she is low in herself and if she has turned to drink then there will be a problem. But you need to try and find out what the problem is and try to tackle it before its too late. The last bit of your discussion tickled me, because everyone farts or do you not? If you think your wife has a problem with it, you should have a chat to my husband about my wind problem!! It hasnt stopped him sleeping with me though!! You need to try and talk to her and find out why shes so down, hope things work themselves out.
1 person likes this
@flowie (134)
• South Africa
5 Mar 08
thank you for your comment, yes i think you are right, she is depressed, she needs to get a job, but being from a different country it is not always easy, i do suport her where ever i can. O yes and about the farting, i think it must be my cooking. I need to cook better. No garlic, and i love garlic so much.
@gemini_rose (16268)
5 Mar 08
Getting a job could be a good idea it will boost her self confidence, but if she has put weight on that can cause loss of self esteem, I felt the same when I put weight on, I never wanted to leave the house. So its your fault that she has a wind problem ah? Then your punishment should be to sleep in the same bed as her! Its hard to deal with people when they go from being happy to sad, but if you really love that person then you have to give it a go to work through it, hope things get better for both of you.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
4 Mar 08
It does happen in my family too.My mother uauslly does cooking as well as all the housework while my father usually sits in front of TV or computer.Sometimes my mum cannot stand it then complains about this to me.Actually this situation does happen in most of chinese families.But they never treat this as a real problem,that is , you do the work for your family which has nothing to do with fair.Maybe you should talk with your wife about her atitude of life instead of work.You should encourage her to do something more meaningful.
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@flowie (134)
• South Africa
5 Mar 08
yes i agree with you, it is about your atitude, and the way you see life, she needs to get a job and we are really trying our best, we had a bit of a set back, she got quilifide as a tour operator and now the companys said she cant work because she doenst have a public transport drivers licentse and because she is from a differtent country, she cant get one, but no one told us this when she actually went to study. So now we just have to try something else, thank you for your comment.
@aretha (2538)
• United States
4 Mar 08
i do all the work i cook clean up take care of the kids do the wash. my hubby used to work but now that hes off he does help some but i still do most everything. he helps a lot with the kids though witch is a big help.
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@flowie (134)
• South Africa
4 Mar 08
o that is cool, kids can be a big job, and take a lot of energy, i am glad he helps. You should tell hem to fix all the things that needs fixing. They are usaly good with that kind of stuff.
@diillu (5121)
4 Mar 08
I think this is too much. I think it is the time that you have a talk with your wife. Locing doesn't mean that you have to take all that she gives you. Me and my boyfriend are living together and we both work. At home we also believe in the equal deal. While he is cooking I'm washing up or he is washing up when I'm cooking and apart from that we do other house chores equally. It's not he doesn't love me on this but it's like he loves helping me on my house chores as well. So, he helps me alot. And the only time he or I would be doing all the work would be when one of us would be sick. So, I tihnk you need to talk with your wife about this matter rather than talk all by yourself silently.
1 person likes this
@flowie (134)
• South Africa
4 Mar 08
thank you for your comment, i must say i am also not doing any clothing washing, so i am a bit critical towards her, i always have clean socks and panties, i think we should just get a dish washer, i dont like doing dishes, never liked it and never will like it.
@luvstochat (6911)
• United States
4 Mar 08
I do all the housework cleaning, cooking etc. My husband works about 65 hours a week and I stay at home so it is only fair that I do all the work around the house.
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@flowie (134)
• South Africa
4 Mar 08
yes i agree, do you have a garden, i think if i had a garden i would be in the garden the whole day and forget to do house work, i love nature.
• Philippines
4 Mar 08
I agree with raijin haha... the way you describe your wife is hilarious. Although I don't know the full story, from what you describe though it seems like your wife is at fault here not you haha... Now on to answer your topic question, well... we hire a maid to do those stuffs since my mom had been very busy since she's a businesswoman and a mother to us all at the same time.
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@flowie (134)
• South Africa
4 Mar 08
it is funny, i must say she makes me laugh a lot, but she does all the clothing. I never do that.
• China
4 Mar 08
I do not have the same situation like you.But in my view,both of you should have a talk to find the solutions.Lending an attentive ear to other is very important.Maybe you can give your suggestions to your wife.Love should be cherished.
1 person likes this
@flowie (134)
• South Africa
4 Mar 08
i agree with you, Love should be cherished, we dont meet the right one just like that. Thanks for your comment.
• Malaysia
4 Mar 08
That depends, almost everyone in my family gets a turn. When we eat together, it is always a competition as the last person to finish usually does all the washing up.
1 person likes this
@flowie (134)
• South Africa
4 Mar 08
a that is a very good idea, i think i must try that, start eating while i do the cooking.
@raijin (10371)
• Philippines
4 Mar 08
Me and my father are the one's who cook in the house too, so I assume that others would do the dish washing. But there are times that it was me who does it also, not sure why people tend to forget to do their share of chores. Oh my, the way you describe your wife made me laugh!LoL I'm still single, so I can't share anything on that aspect!;)
@flowie (134)
• South Africa
4 Mar 08
thank for your comment, yes my wife is very funny, she is not that bad, we just get along very well.
@lexus54 (3575)
• Singapore
5 Mar 08
Wow, what a way to describe a wife. I guess you love your wife for who she is, and not what she does (or what she doesn't do). You need a have a heart-to-heart talk with her and work out an arrangement regarding household work that's agreeable to you both. My wife and I used to do the housework - cleaning, cooking, washing up, washing and drying the clothes, ironing, disposing the rubbish, etc. A couple of years back, my mother-in-law who is staying with us, had some health problems and so we had to hire a maid to look after her. Since then, most of the housework have been delegated to my maid. We still do the marketing for groceries and wash the car. This frees us from housework, and so we can devote our time to other pursuits and interests.
@quawertz (778)
• Philippines
5 Mar 08
In our household there is a scheduled person on who gets to wash the dishes and who will cook etc. And fortunately this set up has never been broken yet. Maybe you and your wife should have a talk about your situation. To better understand your feelings. The fart part made me laugh, LOL :)
• Australia
5 Mar 08
No I have never been in situation like this. My relationship with my fiance are just like any normal relationship. We both work and after work I will cook and he will clean up, but sometimes being Im a girl, I do feel like I should be the one doing the clean up as well, so in certain times or cases I cook and clean up. I am not angry with him because I love him and I know he does try to help on the day to day basis. As for your relationship with your wife, as you said, maybe she got a depression, if that is the cases then you need to bring her to doctor, it is not something that you could handle yourself. Try to get her to lay off the drinking, try to get her to get a job or maybe I dont know volunteer to do something. You know, so that she has something to do instead of just sleeping or lazying all day. Obviously there is something wrong with her, and if you bring her to doctor they can help and after she got better, you guys can try to get your relationship back on track. Good luck :)
@chestyna (113)
4 Mar 08
hi there, in our family my husband and i we split our chores, he is a great husband.and i think thats how it should work in the family. If you love your wife, you should talk to her otherwise you wouldn`t be able to handle it anymore for very long, something has to change. good luck with it, hope it gets better.
• United States
4 Mar 08
In my house if someone cooks, the others do the clean up. I am sorry you are going through this situation and hope things get better for you and your wife.
@tony254 (17)
• United States
4 Mar 08
The Only Suggestion I can Make Is Councilor, Tell Her It is Needed to Save the Marriage. She does not Comply to trying make it better, well Divorce would be only Option. Hate to Hear Ya Going through it. Good Luck
• Philippines
4 Mar 08
Sounds to me that you really do love your wife... a lot! :) Looks like you guys really need to sit down and talk. Let her know how you feel about the whole situation and maybe in the end, you may just have her washing the dishes or even more. Who does the washing in our house? Oh, I do. I also happen to do the cooking, the taking care of the kids, the cleaning up, the laundry etc. etc... hehe