"Obsessive Compulsive"

United States
March 6, 2008 9:27am CST
"Perfect Paranoia" I cant stop to cry. For the tears flee in my endless thinking. It is, a perfect paranoia. Nothing is more important, because the obsession is seductively addictive. When the compulsion takes over my being, my feelings create an implosion. All my insides are spilled into the these streets of loneliness. An endless suffocation of meaningless things. I cannot help but think of you, you kill me without a fault. It is me, creating the perfect allergy, to the constant love that you feed. The color is red.. Revenge. Anger. Rage. Jealousy. I love what I hate. Even more I hate to love. I am the offspring of lonely souls. They are good, because I am not dead. They did feed.. my mouth. But no knowledge was imparted in my mind. So I am an offspring of animals.. those who shelter, and protect.. but cannot instruct a single gem of intellectuality. I crave more than anything to grow. Not into a being of betterness. But differentness, is what my heart is thirsty for. When I was born, the spark of life was imparted in me. As I grew older, I have chopped myself to a single serving. One purpose.. an indulgent selfishness. Now I am but a self serving entity. I love that person that loves me. But I show it, in a funny way. Or so she would say. And truth that is. Poor me, but there is more poverty in she. I am but a scumbag. A falsification of a true man. Nothing is farther from the different. I have more than I acknowledge. And she is more than I can see. Poor me? Poor She! I hate her beauty and love her ugliness. She deserves more.. but knows that I show less. And not recognizing that is my greatest failure. I need an identity tailor. May my words escape me, and return altered by life in form of experience. Love is Life and I yearn now to Live. So that I can find the pure purpose of why people die every day. If I die, may that day be a celebration. Of something that has yet to occur. So the set up is in the agenda.. the planning is now.. So I must depart.. to alter my malfunctioning heart. ZeN
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