I'm devasted...

Words of wisdom? Probably not. Let go hon. He doesn't care about you if he can treat you this way. Cheating is one thing. I believe someone can make a mistake like that and move past it. However, his actions over the last month, and when he left in the middle of the night tell me he's not ready to move past it. He's being selfish, plain and simple. He left because you yelled at him? Give me an f-ing break. He DESERVES to be yelled at. You DESERVE to express the anger at being betrayed in such a manner. And he runs away? Let him go...he isn't a man, he's a child. A selfish, spoiled child. You haven't even been married a year and he's already been cheating on you for a couple of months? There's your sign right there. I could see if it happened once or twice in a moment of weakness. But his leaving you time and again, while you're going through such horrible stuff with your boss and all, is a clear cut sign he CAN'T be there for you. Save yourself a lot of heartache and just let go now. He's not worth your pain. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I really am.

wow. I am so sorry for you right now. I wish I could give you a big hug! I would just try to move on. i mean I know that seems impossible and it might even make you angry to hear that but I think that if he was cheating on you then he doesn't love you, especially keeping it from you for a few months. You need to take a vacation or something close to a vacation and recharge yourself and then try to move on. If he tries to call or see you just tell him that you are sick of him leaving and that you had to make the choice for him.

Firstly I am sorry that you have experienced all this heart-ache in what seems to be a short time. But it seems like you have to make a choice here and one that is not only good for you, but also for your health! I don't feel yelling at him had anything to do with him leaving at the early hour of the morning, it maybe just an excuse for him doing it. He does sound VERY confused and seems to not know what he wants, but in the meantime he is dangling you and maybe making sure you will be there for him if all else fails! Not good for you and you need to make a choice! If he has been seeing an "ex" then there should be your answer! Move on and one day you will look back when you are stronger, and ask yourself "why did I allow this to happen" Trust in your own gut feelings and at the moment not with your heart! Good luck and just remember you are never alone in situations like this is there are many of us who have been through the same or similar and are here to tell the story!

I am so sorry this all has happened to you! I can not begin to imagine what you are feeling right now! Witnessing your boss's murder! HOW terrible!!! And I bet you have a lot going on with cops and the investigation right? Do you know who did it? And your husband doing this to you!? it's really unfair of him to do this! You really shouldn't let him bring you down. He's cheated on you, he's hurt you! No woman deserves that! I don't know if this is my place, and I'm sorry if it isn't--but you should leave him. Unless you are 100% sure he really wants to make this work, and he is going to make a real effort! But from what I've read it doesn't seem like it! There are many guys out there who would treat you right! Don't stress yourself otu too much about losing your job, it wasn't your fault! Do you get the paper? You can look in the classifieds, sometimes they have some really good, interesting jobs! Can I ask what you are interested in doing? There are also some sites you can join that can help you find a job, like Monster, or Yahoo Jobs. You should go out with some girlfriends! Have a weekend to yourself! Good luck in whatever you choose to do! And please let us know!!

Your husband sounds like a very weak, selfish little man. He has no idea what he wants and thats not fair to you, hes just treating you as a backup plan, someone there for him whenever he wants comfort. But dont give him that satisfaction. Hes treating you this way because he KNOWS that you'll always be there, and that you'll always take him back. DONT GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION. When he realize he no longer has the power over you, itll hit him hard and hell understand how much he really screwed up, trust me. I know you love the guy and you always wanna look for the good in a person when you love them and not the bad, but this guy is trouble sweetie. You deserve so much better, there are lots of men out there who will treat you like you are the only person in the world that matters. Cut ties with the loser, and youll find an amazing man.

Wow what a story you got there dear and sorry to hear it. I know you still love your husband but as i can see from your story that he is just using you and playing with your emotions all the time. Will you allow yourself to be treated like that always? If you will still allow him to do it, then your misery will not end as he will keep coming back as he knows you are weak and you will continue to accept him as he knows you love him so much. You have got to decide when you will stop accepting him and his wrong ways. I happen to be in that situtation before as my ex boyfriend have fooled me 3x over with 3 girls and I said to myself enough and my miery with him ended there. I know it will be a struggle dear but time will heal you and let your family and friends help you get through it. As my mom told me when I was in that relationship, "that guy will just hold you hanging in a string and control you always unless you cut the string and take hold of your life" - talking of words of wisdon from my mom who i know loves me more than that guy. And now Im happy with my son even though he already left us and Im having the time of my life as Im having proposals around me. Cheer up girl as you will discover that life not only ends with him as there are others out there that can give you a better plate!

Sounds like to me he was feeling guilty and only telling you so he could feel better himself. You had every right to yell you were hurt. I would have done the same. He broke your vows and let you down. If you wanted to try again with him that is your business and I wouldn't tell you not to, Some people do change and I have seen it happen. My husband and myself had trouble in our first year of marriage. He had been married before and the divorce was terrible. Even though he loved me, I think he got scared and tried to push me away so he wouldn't get hurt. We worked it out and went on to have 3 children and married for almost 30 years. We tell each other every day I love you. And I know he means it.

You've only been together a year. The first year is the hardest! (That's a famous saying.) Yes, these things are grievous. He's had the opportunity to talk, so gather your thoughts and have your turn, laying down some rules! (Tho in a merciful/friendly manner.) His guilty conscience, to me, seems to show he does care, otherwise he could have merely continued to be a cheater throughout many years! I've seen it happen! Of course you have to make it clear to him that his past behavior is totally unacceptable.. I mean there's diseases and everything! And no matter what we've been taught as a society cheating is not ok, and it's not kool. And if he thinks it is, he should let you go and not hurt you further. If he's able to agree with the importance of monogamy and faithfulness, there may be lots of hope for your marriage. His leaving in the middle of the night shows another issue somewhere.. a sensitivity in his nature.. course we all have many sensitivities in our nature. [I'm an astrologer and wish people would realize what an asset astrology is to understanding one another!] - Of course if you as a couple can get over these things, you will have to truly forgive him and be able to "forget it".. otherwise, it will be sure to come up during arguments, etc, and will haunt your marriage, and you won't be able to be generous to him in love, which can cause a man to think of others, and then the wife loves him less.. it's a vicious cycle. Of course it's bound to be on your mind from time to time until you feel you truly can trust him. If it was me, I'd be keeping an eye on him (for awhile) but wouldn't let him know it! And being angry the other day is surely to be expected! ..good luck dear, I've said a little prayer for you, and your marriage..

I am so sorry to hear about all this. I hope you have some great friends that can help you get through this.They say it takes two to make a marriage work. And it seems like he doesn't want to work on this with you. I hope you can find someone who wants to really be with you. Take care.

Sweety you say there you sit alone and there he sits alone, not trying to make you feel bad, but he is not sitting alone. This man is trying to play both ends against the middle. Probably his GF hasn't decided what she wants to do yet, so he is keeping you on the string, so if it doesn't work out with her he still has a warm body to come back to. Let his slimy tail go, if this other girl wants to put up with his BS, then by all means let her. You need to move on and quit disrespecting yourself. As long as you let him use you he will, and if he can get away with it he will continue having his cake and eating it too, while you and the GF feed his ego. You sound like a loyal loving mate, find someone who appreciates you, and live a happy life, you deserve better than this scum bucket.

I'm really sorry you have to be subjected to all this ordeal in such a relatively short time. Anyone in your position would have felted very dejected and crestfallen. Before I talk about your marriage problem, I really pray firstly you will recover from your traumatic experience of witnessing your boss' murder, and get another job to support yourself. Keeping yourself busy with work will help deflect your thoughts away from your problems. As a husband myself, I'd say your husband has acted very irresponsibly in not taking his marriage seriously, and continuing an affair he knows very well he must steer clear of once he had decided to commit to marrying someone. The fact that he can be unfaithful even in only his first year of marriage demonstrates how distrusting he can be. He cannot take the position that he is beyond reproach for what he did, and you as the aggrieved party has every right to be angry and hurt. Still, I hope you will give a chance for your marriage to work out. For this to happen, he must really show genuine repentance and be prepared to make up to you in words and deed, and show sincerity in how he conducts himself. So far, he has shown childish behavior walking out like that. But perhaps he was feeling remorseful about what he did and tried a first step in coming back, but your strong rebuff might have made him felt that his attempt was not going to go well, he felt dejected and made an exit. If that is so, he might try again when he feels the situation gives him a better chance at reconciliation. I know many womenfolk here are not as forgiving as the way I have said it. I hear calls for forgetting him and moving on. That will surely put an end to the marriage. I support you as you are the aggrieved party, but I also believe that there must have been sufficient love between your hubby and yourself to look beyond what has happened (otherwise you wouldn't have decided to marry him in the first place, right?), and try to restart the relationship but on a better footing. For this to materialize, you need to keep the door open for reconciliation despite the earlier failed attempts. You don't have to try and reach out to him like you're desperate to have him back. For what he has done, he is not surely deserving of that, and you shouldn't do anything to make him think he can just walk right back. He has to make the genuine attempt at reconciliation, and that's when you can assess how sincere and honest he is. I feel he needs to apologize and impose self-conditions upon himself to turn over a new leaf, be devoted to you only and forget about his ex. He should offer his suggestions about how he intends to fulfill these conditions, and keep to them - in short, show a genuine desire at reconciliation. If he is prepared to do this to your satisfaction and you give him the chance to change, something positive may come out of all these. Your marriage may be saved, and who knows, the hurts may blow over with time and your marriage may take on new strength. Lastly, pray about your situation and ask God to change hearts and turn the marriage around. Prayer is very powerful, and changes things. Commit your marriage to God and He will help you. I am guided by these Bible passages when I am challenged by situations which put me down - Psalm 34:8 and Proverbs 3:5. I will pray for you and your marriage. God bless, Victor.

That is horrible everything you have had to go through and are still going through. Honestly your husband sounds like a complete a**hole! If he cheated on you and actually feels guilt about it then it shouldnt ever happen again. I couldn't work through something like that I could never trust the person again so it is wonderful how you can overcome it even though you are so hurt! I cant believe he left in the middle of the night just because you yelled at him. What a baby. He should realize how bad he hurt you and understand that and accept if you say some nasty things to him because of what he did.

The first thing I want to say is how horrible for you to have witnessed your boss being brutally killed. That is so awful. I hope it doesn't bring you nightmares and I hope you are talking to a professional about your feelings on it. Then I want to say, I am not in your shoes so I will not give you any advice but I will give you my opinion on the matter. I hope you don't take all the opinions and advice here too seriously because this is not other people's lives, but yours, and you need to make your own decissions about it. I think what your husband is doing to you is rotten. I think he needs some help himself to get over his guilt and to make the right discissions for himself before he can decide for you. You need to follow your own heart and do what is right for you and not what is right for him. Don't feel any sympathy for him but do feel some for yourself because you deserve it. If your husband can regain your trust, somehow, then do what your heart is telling you. But don't be a fool and let him off too easily. Make him have to gain your trust back, don't just give it to him.

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through. It sounds like hell. I would recommend that you start taking some herbal supplements like St Johns Wort or valerian as these will help you cope with the emotional stress... perhaps even drink some cammomile tea. If you find that you aren't coping and you feel that your situation feels like quicksand sucking you down and making you feel awful. If you constantly feel tired, unmotivated to do anything, tearful, start eating too much or not enough... then go to your doctor and get him/her to prescribe something to lift your mood because the stress has caused a chemical imbalance that is affecting your ability to cope. As for your anniversary, give your girlfriends a call and arrange a 'girls night out' meet at one of their houses afterwards and have a good, old fashioned b*tching session... it'll help you get it off your chest!

My heart breaks for you. I've lived that same pain. My first husband and I walked the same path for 10 years. He thought if he confessed and said he would try and do better, it would be o.k. . . . until the next day or week or month. The pain is enormous and it won't go away. I think I tried every approach in the book, angry, sweet, understanding, sexy, loving, etc. and nothing worked. We had a child together, so it took me forever to finally give up. Do yourself a favor honey and don't let him do this to you. You are worthwhile, you don't deserve this! The only words of wisdom I can give you are to be strong and be good to yourself. Don't let him ruin your self esteem or your life. I'll be thinking about you and wish you all the best in your future!

although you are very hurt, and rightfully so, ditch him kick him to the curb, all the way through he has been thinking about himself and not you. he did crime and he is upset because you yelled at him, another wife might have shot him, but seriously you need to leave this creep for good.

I totally understand your situation. I am sorry to hear that. I think you have been cheated big time in life. my advise would be try to stand on your feet, work alone and try to be strong. Just dump those who cheated you like this,

I am sorry to hear this from you. I think you must recognize the fact that we men are equally imperfect and most of all as fragile as women. R/s is a very unique and complex thing - reason being we have 2 unique and complex combination so supporting each other is really important. Especially during these trying times and there is always times either party will be having distractions and obstacles along the way. It is normal for outburst on the initial, but what happens after the heat will be what really matters. Communication and more communication will be the main item on the menu. And during this period will be I hope you will remember the importance of the term "choice of words" as this will be the time for the both of you to heal and move to the next level of your r/s.

i'm sorry to hear that.. but i think your better off without him .. clouse that page of your life and open a new one .. i know its hard but i believe that every thing is going for the best .. he is not worthy of you .. don't get upset be glade that you find out about him early ,, i wan't you to keep your self bussy .. start looking for new work and have a new hair cut .. don't laugh at me .. when i'm dawn i go to the salon and change me hair cut or color it make me feel better .. i hope the new you in your new job find happiness.. take care..

oh my... you certainly have been through a lot. i don't have any words of wisdom. i don't even know what to say that can make you feel better. but i admire all your efforts in trying to forgive your husband and getting back together for the sake of keeping your vows. but i also agree that you have every right to yell at him. every mistake has its consequence and he got his. i really do hope you can get through this. and although this may sound stupid, but maybe then you can write an inspiring book, turn it into a movie and make lots of money. God bless you.