What makes a person likeable?

United States
March 10, 2008 3:29am CST
We like people, we don't like people. Sometimes we judge someone as soon as we meet them, sometimes we wait a bit longer. People judge one another based on different criterias. What draws you to someone? What makes them likeable in your opinion?
4 people like this
21 responses
@jpso138 (7863)
• Philippines
10 Mar 08
Well for me attitude really matters. If he or she is easy to get along with and somewhat down to earth, I will most likely be impressed and obviously would like the person.
• United States
10 Mar 08
Attitude is important and obviously would draw you to someone initially, but even those with a sometimes bad attitude can be loveable too. Its just getting past it. LOL.
1 person likes this
@clowdine (1402)
• Philippines
10 Mar 08
People who are good listeners and sensible talkers and those who are not constantly concerned mainly on proving others wrong, instead they validate what people say without being rude and believe with prudence that others could also be right sometimes and has courage to openly admit it. They take responsibility if it's all messed up whenever they should and do something about the problem. In a way, it proves humility to me. I like humble, broadminded, and responsible people. But sadly, most folks I meet would likely think when something goes wrong, it has to be someone else's fault, never theirs.
3 people like this
• United States
10 Mar 08
Being validated is huge for all of us. I believe thats why so many people like this site. Its validating to know that you can say something interesting enough to have other people want to respond. We all fear not being liked by others and fear that what we have to say is not important enough.
2 people like this
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
10 Mar 08
Judging by own experiences... I think we are attracted by people who seem to be like us... Where we go wrong is to think that because those people have the same personality than us... they going to think the same way than we do. I got caught everytime by associating myself with the wrong people... I get attracted by people with a strong personality who tell it like it is. The only problem is... what they have to say conflict with what I have to say... And then... instead of having a friend... you end up with an ennemy.
• United States
10 Mar 08
Its so funny that you should say this, because I just learned a valuable lesson in that regard just recently. I learned that just because someone doesn't come across as all flowers and fauna doesn't make them less of a person, or a person with less to contribute. Its just a person that as you stated "tells it like it is". Sometimes we find that abrasive, because we aren't open to looking past what we are not comfortable with. Hope that makes sense.
1 person likes this
• Australia
10 Mar 08
People who tell it like it is are not monsters. We just have a low tolerance for stupidity. Don't confond us with bullies. We are actually trying to help people. We are just as quick to praise someone for being smart as we are to chastise someone for being stupid. Quotes Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC) Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. Frank Dane Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805) It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. Harlan Ellison There are more fools in the world than there are people. Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856) There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968) Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. Unknown
2 people like this
• United States
10 Mar 08
I hope you didn't think I was referring to you when I said what I did about people being abrasive. I met someone else on this site recently that was VERY abrasive and in the beginning took poorly to someone who was pretty direct. I learned alot from that experience. And it was all positive.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
10 Mar 08
hhhmmm good question...What draws me to someone....curiosity for starters..i'm very curious about new ppl..a sense of humour also attracts me..intelligence without being c0cky or arrogant about it (can't stand "know it all" types)..openmindedness...kindness....similarities to me...differences as well though...hell there are lots of things that draw me to a new person.. What makes a person likeable..LOL I think what makes a person NOT likeable is a better question....I dont like shallow, cruel, loud, obnoxious, hurtful, narrowminded ppl..other than that, pretty much everyone is likeable to one degree or another with me LOL
2 people like this
• United States
10 Mar 08
I like a good sense of humor too, but at the same time a natural sense of humor. Not one put on just in the hopes of getting attention.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Mar 08
when I mentioned sense of humor I realized that some people's sense of humor consists of making themselves bigger by putting you down then saying I was only joking and I do not find that likeable at all
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
11 Mar 08
Kb - yea it definatley has to be a natural sense of humour without a doubt...but then of course one that is 'put on' IMO isnt a sense of humour at all...its just show which can be seen right through..
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
10 Mar 08
I get strong vibes about people, I can usually tell within five minutes of seeing someone new for the first time if I feel comfortable with them, trouble is I don't always get it right and I let my heart rule my head as it were, take my ex, if I had listened to my vibes and my friends I would have run a million miles in the opposite direction! I feel people's warmth, their attitude and the way they talk to me, if they use eye contact if they are genuinely interested in me, telltale signs. It's easier for me to like people on line than offline if that makes sense.
• United States
10 Mar 08
I completely understand about relating with people online versus offline. Thats why I spend so much time here and not outside talking to people in person. If it turns out you don't like them, you can just delete them and never have to interact with them again.
2 people like this
@balasri (26549)
• India
10 Mar 08
I like a person who is assertive but not arrogant,eloquent but not a big mouth,handsome or beautiful but not flashy, soft spoken but not a wimp,Commanding but not bossy and intelligent but not a cuckoo.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Mar 08
I enjoyed the way that you made those comparisons. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26549)
• India
10 Mar 08
And thank you too.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Mar 08
There are many different qualities that draw me to a person. I like people who have a positive outlook on life, I find these people to be upbeat and inspiring. I like people who are warm and friendly, those people always know how to make you feel good. I like people with a good sense of humor, they know how to make you laugh and how to take a joke. I like people who are intelligent because you can learn a lot from them and they are interesting. I like people who are easy to talk to and are always willing to listen when you need it. And, I like people who are true and loyal and portray honesty and integrity.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Mar 08
If there is one thing I don't like its someone who tries to appear intelligent and does not have the knowledge to back it up when they open their mouths.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Mar 08
Oh I know! That's obnoxious isn't it?
2 people like this
@naseefu (1607)
• India
10 Mar 08
Really i dont know which are the things that leads me to like someone. The innocence of some people's face is sometimes attracts me and that is one reason to like someone at sight.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Mar 08
In a physical aspect that may be true, but what makes you like them after that?
1 person likes this
@naseefu (1607)
• India
10 Mar 08
After I make a relation to any person I will consider many things like Is he a truthful man?,Why he or she want to make a relation to me?and so on.I cannot remember all the reasons.. Have a nice day.
2 people like this
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
10 Mar 08
Some people are supremely selfconfident[to the point of being aggressively arrogant] and talk with their nose up in the air. This is something that puts me off. What attracts me generally is a softspoken, humane and simple attitude.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Mar 08
That was a great answer. I particularly liked the "simple attitude". Very thought provoking. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Mar 08
I had a cousin who was exactly like that and she came with an armful of faded clothes she wished to donate, get this. donate to my mom we were not poor or poverty stricken and my mom sewed beautiful clothes for me. she handed them back and smiled thanks but we don;t need these. then the cousin huffed and backed up and caught her hair in the sticky flypaper hanging by the door. I wanted so badly to giggle because I felt that it had served her right. She looked down on us for some reason. guess it was because my dad was just a country doctor.
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
10 Mar 08
I usally go by there personallity and the way they act. I like people way are down to earth myself.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Mar 08
I agree. I like people who are honest with themselves if no one else.
1 person likes this
@gops121 (53)
10 Mar 08
generally i am attracted to people who are very comfortable with themselves ... i find them very attractive... as far as judging people .. i dont like to that cause " world is a mirror of your's"
• United States
10 Mar 08
Thats very true. They say what we like or dislike in a person is a mirror of what we see in ourselves.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
11 Mar 08
aura - visible aura
Good energy and good attitude is always a plus. I can read people and it does and doesn't help. I can tell a lot about people after first 2 minutes. I don't like people with dark aura, they are taking our energy like vampire....
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 08
As long as they aren't taking my blood like a vampire. LOL. Seriously though, I know what you mean. Some people are dark in attitude and demeanor.
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
12 Mar 08
not only, they gave gray Aura around the body....
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
10 Mar 08
The way people approach me and receive me. If they are smiling, positive, open with a down to earth kinda attitude, then I know I am going to like that person. If they are standoffish and look you up and down and point their nose in the air, then I know that person may not be an easy one to get along with when I first meet them. I still make an effort though and if they still keep up their guard, then that is fine.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Mar 08
Don't you just hate that when you meet someone for the first time and they look you up and down. Its like being sniffed by a dog.
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
10 Mar 08
haha I like the way you put it.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Mar 08
i think, we tend like people that have the ability to make us feel good about ourselves...and hate people that make us feel bad about ourselves...Like smiling if a person smiles at you, you feel good and instantly you tend to like that person ^_^ , conversely if you saw a frowning person you will tend to dislike him/her hehe
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 08
Thats a really good response. Very well put, thanks.
@2btrueinu (703)
• Philippines
11 Mar 08
For me I like people depends on how they get along with me, I like people who is funny, easy to go too, vocal in a nice way, open. Many criteria as you said but sometimes I did not like that person because I feel I didn't like that person. It's like instinct I must say my feeling towards that person Sometimes I don't understand it but as time past by I understand why I don't like him/her.
• United States
11 Mar 08
Yes gut instinct is something that should not be ignored. 9 times out of 10 if something is telling you that something is not right, its probably not right.
@fkhan06 (59)
• India
11 Mar 08
If one has Positive attitude, cool and composed then influencing others become easy. Read more about Influencing on http://www.link2success.net/influencing.html
• United States
11 Mar 08
Thats sounds kind of like interviewing skills. I would like to think it would come more naturally than that.
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
11 Mar 08
to me they have to become their normal selves i dont like people that are this way and one way the next , kinda sad on other peoples fault who judge others at the drop of a hat and never recognize the realness a true person ..
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 08
Sometimes its all about giving a person a chance. I know first impressions are important, but they aren't written in stone.
@Cocoa33 (921)
• United States
11 Mar 08
it could be a number of things that attract a person to others and make them likable. it depends on the individual. well for me one of the things its mainly the personality.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 08
Yes it does depend on the individual, but what are the characteristics that you look for?
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Mar 08
sense of humor, compassion, openness and ability to share with out judging you, warmth, the ability to put the other person at ease and the ability to appear at ease themselves that is what draws me to people.I have met fellow workers like that in the library and also among the nurses where I used to work. they are not necessarily good looking or are they necessarily well to do gbut they all share that warmth and compassion and openness that draws a person to them. I had a bad fall two years ago in front of a cafe and totallydemolished my left shoulder. A lady among the onlookers came to me , asked if I was hurt and immediately called the parimedics.she exuded a warmth and compassion that drew me to her as the others just stared at me as though I were a freak. My knee was bleeding and I could not lift my left arm at all. Then the parimedicscame and very gently lifted me onto a backboard and loaded me a large woman into the ambulance. this one parimedic kept up a calm reassuring chat with me in the few minutes it took to get to the hospital. I was scaredout of my wits as I did not know what I had done to my shoulder. He was a likeable person.then this doctor who was on call , an orthopedist came to me and told me what he thought was wrong. He showed great compassion and told me he would have the nurse give me something for pain then he wanted to have some xrays to see how bad the damage was all the time he was showing compassion and warmth and taking the time to explain in layman terms what he thought was wrong. Now I was taken to the xray and the x ray tech was very brusque bordering on rude as he jerked me around and bawled me out for not being able to lift that arm. while on the x ray table I got a horrendous cramp in my leg that was so painful I cried out and he seemed furious when I asked if he could rub the cramp out or give me something for it. He snapped thesooner you get in position the sooner you can get backto your room. That was not a likeable person and I did not deserve that kind of treatment all the other people had been kindness itself.
@Kyle91 (22)
• United States
11 Mar 08
I dont know about anyone else, but one factor i look for is if they look you in the eye during that first contact(The first time you see that person). I also look at their personality. I sometimes look at looks but it really isnt a deciding factor. Thanks, Kyle D.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 08
Thats a really good point. If they can't look you in the eye, you definitely wonder why they can't.