What is the right thing to do for my kids??? PLEASE HELP

United States
March 12, 2008 3:47am CST
I have a huge dilemma and dont know what the right thing to do is. I have 2 girls who mean the whole world to me. I have raised them without the help or support of their biological father for 9 years now. Just recently the Friend of the Court picked up our case file again. I think the state being so broke now want the money he owes them. He also owes me $60,000 in arrearages. I have not looked for the money, figuring it did me no good, so I directed my efforts towards my children. Anyways, being the FOC is threatening him with a warrant now, he decided to petition the court for supervised visitation. I know that he is only doing this to either get to me, or somehow thinks that his child support will somehow be lowered. I know that he does not have the girls best interest at heart. But he is after all their biological father. He has a huge jail and prison record. For everything from Possession of Cocaine to Fleeing the police. I was absolutely against him messing up the kids I worked so hard to raise right. But am I wrong for fighting his visitations? I think my oldest(11 yrs) is a little curious about him. She said she would want to know what he looks like and sounds like. But I know that as a mother my job is to protect them from all harm and I see him as harmful. He is however the father I picked for them. I just dont know what to do. I am so confused on what the right thing to do is. Should I ask the girls what they want? Are they mature enough at 11 and 9 to know what is best for them, or why I want to fight this or would they resent me later for fighting him on this issue. I want to be the best mother I can be. I just dont know as a good mother if I should allow a supervised visit or fight to keep them from getting hurt? PLEASE HELP ME and TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS.... I need help with this.
1 response
@selby70 (283)
12 Mar 08
This is what happened to me, I had at the time 2 children a boy 6 and a girl 2 my ex seen them every week until he met his new girlfriend and her 3 children one day he was to come and get the children but he did not turn up they cried their eyes out, that day I swore that he would never get the chance to hurt them like that again so I would not let him see them after a while he did not bother no birthday cards no presents nothing, when my daughter turned 13 she asked if she could get in touch with her dad and see him I said yes she met him in town he didnt take her any where he made arrangements to meet her in town the following week she went and waited for an hour and he did not turn up,I think until then she probably thought deep down that maybe he wasnt so bad. Now she is 27 and goes to see him now and again. To me 11 and 9 are not mature enough but you will know your children best. Good Luck with what ever you decide to do.