Forget the children. What about the oldies?

I think that you hit me right on the spot. I guess it is hard admitting it right in the open that I am guilty of such. I know that there is wisdom in the days of the matured minds. I guess it is not often they are heard out. With a lot of propagandas and people busy with the new technology impacting their lives causes this. Like me not admitting to other people of my taking for granted of the elderly but instead taking this opportunity to do so. I do know that it takes extra time to be with elder people, the pace of todays world leaves those who keep their priorities in it. Right now, there are kids around me in the internet cafe busy with online computer games shouting with enthusiasm and using their present freedom cursing fellow players while doing so. I guess it is a part of the modern age community that is being established on the internet grounds. I do enjoy the company of those with peace of mind. I am hoping to establish myself in a secure future with actions that will define me. I see the frozen top of wild rivers but I am aware of the wild rushing current in its depths. (c:

I went to college studying gerontology, and I heard some terrible horror stories about the way things used to be in many public and private nursing homes. So very sad indeed. My father lived in a nursing home for the final 1 1/2 yrs of his life. He ADORED it there. I visited every couple of weeks with the boys, and talked to him on the phone every night. The staff and other residents loved it when I would visit with the boys. They didn't care much about me of course, but seeing the boys playing and being so good put so many smiles on their faces. Even at my father's memorial service at the home, one of the residents commented to everyone how it was always nice to see Charlie's grandsons visiting. Anytime we visited, we rarely saw other residents being visited by loved ones. It was so sad. There were certainly never any other children there. And most of the visitors we did see, were usually spouses to some of the residents. Thankfully, this particular nursing home had a fantastic social program, so there were always lots of activities for the residents to take part in and keep busy with. I often wondered where their families were though. For those wondering what they can do to help, there's a simple answer. Volunteer. Do friendly visits just to say hi to some residents... adopt a grandparent maybe? The homes definitely need lots of help at mealtimes, to either bring the residents to and from the dining rooms, or to help feed some of the seniors unable to do so on their own. Those little things really DO mean a lot.

Yeah I feel sorry for the elderly too, especially those that have been abandoned by their children. Those children are so selfish that they only think of themselves. I'll make sure that my own parents don't suffer such neglect and abuse. They have been good to their children. They deserve better.

I visit my mom several times a week where she is. She wouldn't want to live with me, even tho she's not that happy where she is at these days. We keep reminding her that she chose to live there so she could go over to the health care center when she couldn't live alone any more. I know she didn't think it would happen so soon, but... I know I won't have the money or the kids to take such good care of me when I get old, tho I'm not expecting to make it as long as my mom since my health isn't as good.

I always remind myself to be nice to my kids because one of them will be wiping my butt 50 years from now. I have never had any personal dealings with people in old age homes. When my great grandmother could no longer take care of herself I took her to live with me. When my grandmother started having all of her problems I took her to live with me but she left to go live with her boyfriend so now I am the one who takes care of both of them. It is stressful, not because it is hard work but because I hate seeing the women who raised me reduced to the functionality of a 5 year old. Sure they can use the bathroom on their own and make their own sandwich but don't expect them to wash behind their ears or anywhere else if they are left to shower unattended. I can only hope that I don't live that long. We start our lives in diapers. I want to be long gone before I have to end my life in them.

I face this even today at 26 years old because I am what they would call a 'hermit' I prefer sticking to myself and not having a bunch of friends. Even when I had friends, before kids, I only had 2 good friends and have always been that way. I figure just treat your kids the best you can bringing them up to be independent and they will return the favor. I do notice the abundance of senior living, but now its the senior condos and not the 'homes' around here and every surrounding state theirs a boom. I never heard of the description you gave of the elderely being ABLE to retire early, on NPR I actually heard a guy in his 70s talking about his job at a newspaper and he still cannot afford to retire but desperately wants to because of the demanding deadline and schedule of working for a paper. And he never has time for his family. I do think more workplaces are allowing more senior MEN to retire at older ages but doubt accomodations are equally made for older woman and this is how its always been. I always wanted to have my own retirement community if I became a millionaire so I could create a 'concept' model that could be used around the whole country. Not the typical chess games and card but real activities it would thrive.

Well, I also do hear these kind of horror stories. But let me tell you one thing these old homes are more in western society than in eastern. Because in East people care for their older ones. Its not that people in western society don't care for there older one. Its just that its eastern culture and love and tradition which makes them more sympathetic about their old one's. Well the motto is "Give love and Receive Love". Its just that what you grow is what you cut in the end. Spread as much love as you can and it will come back to you with interest. Thanks for reading my post. Goodbye

it also concerns me so much. it seems the society have forgot to think of the senior citizens. we have got some seats at bus for them. but just that does not help. we should show and work to prove that we care for them. the younger generation do not think that they will also reach that stage in life.

It is a big problem and one that ppl tend to overlook. I think the main reason is b/c of the alternative. Let's say your grandpa was 75 and no longer able to live alone...he has 4 choices basically: 1) go to a nursing home and hope it's a decent one. 2) move in with family and hope they are going to want to take care of him. 3) hire someone to live with him if he can afford to do it. 4) end his own life. Some families take their elderly relatives in, hire nurses and take care of them to the end. Others just want a place to ditch them and forget about them...they don't want to be hassled with taking care of them. Most can't afford their own bills much less nurses or live in's and so some, rather than go to a nursing home, choose to end their own life. Me personally, I would hate to be in a nursing home or having my family have to care for me. My Grandma took care of her mother (even gave up her marriage to do it) and my Mother takes care of my Grandma now. It's rough and alot of work...some will do it and some won't. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~

After reading many of the post here , I have to say I have worked in a nursing home for 15 years and I have seen it all, Not all nursing homes are bad , some do try a little harder than others. I have seen family bring in there say mother and thats it you never see them again or very seldom, and you very quickly become there family. Now i also had a mother who I swore I would care for at home untill the end, but untill you actually have to live that life you cannot say never. It is a 24/7 job no vacations no time off, it is constant care and it dose wear you down, I have seen many elderly kept at home who had bed sores because the children didnt have the time to keep them turned there are so many things to consider when they get unable to do for them selves that people dont think about in the beginning. When they become unable to do anything for them selves its a different ball game . sometimes its just a safer option than leaving your parent with dimentia alone all day while you work and they wonder off, well I dont work you say? I say you cant be home 24/7 and you cant always hire some one to stay with them they cant go with you there bedbound and the list goes on. Todays homes in the usa are very well watched im not saying there perfect but it sure is a safer alternative than leaving your loved one alone at home not knowing did they eat today? or take there meds? and when was they last time they had a proper bath? are they safe have they fallen and no one is around? oh the list goes on.

actually there have been several posts on the topic of caring for the elderly here. You are right tho, far too many do ignore them and that is just so wrong. These people raised us and helped us with our own children and I don't know how we can ignore them. Our family is not like that. We have cared for our parents, grandparents. None have been in a home. Our children, I'm sure will not be neglecting us when we get too old. They took part in caring for my mother in her last days and they were amazing. I did not realize how rare this was until I took care of my mom and hospice told me that they rarely see familys pull together like ours. I thought it was the normal thing to do....it should be.

When I was in high school, I worked at a local nursing home. It scared the heck out of me. The treatment was appalling. Needless to say, I got a job at the nearest Hardees and was out of there. I was 16 at the time. So I told my mother the things I saw. She made a call to some state agency.After that I don't know what happend. Now on the news we hear of elderly abuse. So it looks like nothing much changes. My grandfather is 84 lives in the same house for the last almost 40 years. Takes care of himself. All I can hope is that I am able to do the same. We don't respect the young or the old.We don't respect each other as people no matter what age we seem to be. Humans certainly need to learn to be HUMANE.

Yes you are right in what you say, there are an awful lot of stories nowadays about the way that our elderly people are treated and its appalling I dont know why its allowed to go on and why not much seems to be done about it. I worked in a working home for a few years and there was one time when a qualified nurse made comments about some of the folks in there and was very harsh with them, these elderly people had alzheimers and dementia, well us carers were not going to tolerate that and so we made a report and she was sacked. But in some places it seems that a blind eye is turned because how can anyone see that go on and not do something about it. And sometimes even if you do want to do something about it the ranks are closed against you and you end up coming worse off. I certainly dont want to see any of my family or myself go into a place like that and end up being treated bad, and if I thought my family were being treated badly I would make sure I did something about it before it was too late.