mum"s a control freak!!!!

It is a shame that this happens! Maybe the man had no self-confidence or tried to get away but needs his mother's love? It is not easy to relearn your behavior and it can take learning new responses to his mother's demands! As a mother, I can understand demands being made on her for attention and love, but demanding anything from your children is not a good idea! At any age, she could have had some say in the direction of his life, without taking the bull by the horns, just by offering him choices instead of demands! I think at this point his wife is gone, and their is no saving his marriage! It sounds tome like the adult was forty years of age but allowing his inner child to take control of every situation with his mother! His adult self will have to learn to tell his inner child to step aside! The parent in his mind, must have been the real culprit all these years! It is usually the words of your own parents, echoed back in your head, for the rest of your life, that makes up the parent part of your mind! So he only has to tell his "parent" to go away, and let the adult (unemotional) side of his mind, make the most important decisions of his life! Thus, even if and when his dear mother passes away, he will still be hearing this "parent" in his daily life, but he can learn to control it through therapy and practice! Role playing could be good for him to learn new ways to communicate with his mother and others in his life. There is hope!

In this circumstance, the man is forty years old. It's time to tell momma that it's his life and he needs to run it. His wife has to be completely miserable knowing her husband listens to everything mommy says and sticks with it. When a man marries a woman he is supposed to leave his mother and cling to his wife. He's way past time on needing to do that, but until he stands up to his mother and lets her know how it should be, she will continue doing the same things. it's time to let go of her son and let him live his life with his wife. they should be the decision makers, not his mother. God bless

If this were an 18-year old advise may be appropriate, but at 40 years of age if a man cannot figure out how to move far away from his mother and live is own life with his own wife he has a lot of nerve blaming someone else, I think. It was his job to protect his wife from this abuse not to stand by whining.

I don't think this man would take any advice. He's been living the same way for 40 years, he's unlikely to change now. He sounds like my oldest daughter's ex. That was their problem. In fact, he wouldn't move farther away than the house next door. He was 34. This caused them to break up after 4 years. It's pathetic, really. Oh, and to top it off, he didn't even break up with her. When she went back home from our house (80 miles away), all his things were gone. She called his Mom's and his Mom said he had moved back home. lol Yep, that was a killer!

this is completely uncalled for , on both ends the mother and son. the mother needs to realize that he has his own life, and the sun doesnt need to be a door matt for her. He needs to stand up to her. I imagine this woman must be very lonely and not have any friends, she needs to be in counseling so she can learn how to healthily let go of her son..