Things With My Hubby's Mother

Thank you so much hon. She has a bad bed sore which has turned gangrene which can and will kill her if the leg isn't removed. She's always been mean to me so I quit going to see her. Hubby and I have been married for almost 17 years and she's always treated me badly so I stayed away but it's my husband that I'm worried about more than anything because regardless of her actions he still loves her which he should for she's his mother but he hates the way she treats people but he can't do anything about it. Right now I'm at a loss at what to feel, kind of lost, if you know what I mean. I don't wish her any harm but good ridance and that's it. I do hope she gets better even knowing that's not going to happen. UGH!! We all know we have this to face one day but it never gets any easier when the time comes. Thanks so much for your kind words!

:o) Well, you should commend and comfort yourself by knowing what patience you've had to deal with that. But also that will remind us to make sure not to get all the bed sores. I'd be afraid if the caregivers don't move her around in bed enough. In hospital stays, I've been moved around by the nurses or caregivers. I do feel bad for her though. But sending you warm thoughts!

And P.S. I am not 88 years old, and I have not lived in an elderly home. But I meant about when I've been in the hospital before. ;o)

She does not sound like a very nice person, and I do not blame you for not going, no one should feel obligated to do anything they do not want to do. I hope you do not have trouble with the rest of the family, it sounds like you are quite worried about it. I am sure you will get plenty of support from your husband, and he has got you so he will be fine, I am sure you will get plenty of support here too. Hope all goes well for you and hubby and does not get too ugly. Take care.

I feel truely blessed to have such friends and support!! Thank you so much Katlady!! You have no idea how much that means to me!! I try to do the right thing in the midst of the wrong and to be honest, it's hard but I try to remember two wrongs has never made a thing right and it never ever will. I just wish she'd be a little bit nicer and consider other peoples feelings but I know that will never happen so I stayed away. She has made it so hard on everyone includeing her immediate family meaning her brothers and sisters. They wouldn't invite her to family funtions because of her nastiness. I don't wish her any harm but good ridance but at the same time I feel some resentment towards her because I should be with my hubby supporting him in person but I just can't be near that woman even for a minute because I know how she'll dog him left and right and say things like, she only came because I'm dying or she just wanted to see me dying which of course isn't the case at all but that's the way she is which is a very very negative person. She's even told my hubby to never trust anyone even his own mother!! My gosh! If you can't trust your mother then who the heck can you trust? I'm so glad hubby trusts me and backs me up and of course my friends love and support is just awesome!

You're welcome.

I never expected so much support from every body and I thank each and every one of you very much!! I've been a nervous wreck over this and have wondered if I'm handling this right and apparently I am. Thanks so much for your reasurance!

Thank you so much mummymo!! You're a doll! I didn't know if I'd get so much support or not being that feeling the way I do. I mean, I don't wish the woman any harm, I seriously don't but I do wish her good ridance. As for her health, I wouldn't know because she wouldn't tell anyone about her health. She was always so secretive about it but yet would hint around it all the time in such a way that it hung over all the kids heads like a black cloud that they all were afraid to tell her how the really felt out of fear she'd die the next day or next week. There is one daughter that didn't speak to her for something like 20 - 25 years!! Yup that long. Long story but their mother was so in the wrong. To shorten it, she accused her daughter with sleeping with her husband, her daughters step father which wasn't true but she wouldn't believe her and kicked her out when she was only 17 years old!! She's a complete witch!! How can someone take their husbands side over their child is beyond me! The daughter, hubby's sister is coming around a little bit now, not much but a little bit. Now my husband didn't speak to her for 6 years because of how she treated me and dogged me left and right. That was HIS choice, not mine but eventually he called her to try to reconsiliate but she just threw things in his face over and over and he just gave it back just as good as she gave to him. She's just mean mean mean! Even when she asked about me in a nice way, hubby would cut her off right then and there and then try to talk to her about other things. There are things I can't describe on here of what she's done and said because she was horrible. Such as one of the first time's I met her and hubby told her we were engaged, (we both were divorced) and she said to him right in front of me,"you got rid of one b*tch, why do you want to marry another?" I stood up and all the while hubby was pulling on my shirt and saying "Time to go, time to go" I told her "How dare you call me a b*tch! I'm NOT a b*tch and don't appreciate you calling me one!" and hubby pulled one last time and out the door we went. I don't know why I went back but I did but only for hubby but no more. I tried and it just wasn't meant to be because she wouldn't let it be. She's called my husband all kinds of names such as dumb @ss, b@stard and so on and on. She's mean mean mean is the only way I can describe her and the only reason I think the kids hang on to her is because they want her love so badly and they know they're not going to get it but they strive for it even more. Not my husband but I also feel the others except for the oldest one, wants her money AND maybe her love. Who knows but hubby says if he gets nothing from her it'll be just fine by him because he doesn't want anything of hers anyway. I can't agree more.

Man!! You have my thoughts down pact, don't you?! You're right but on the flip side, I don't wish for it to happen because after all, it is hubby's mother. It's kind of a emotional roller coaster type of thing. I hate it.