problem Teen

@ch88ss (2271)
United States
March 14, 2008 1:45pm CST
What happens when your little boy becomes a teenager or will become one soon. I honestly beleive you become lost. I am so lost things are so bad at home. it is almost likea 90degree changed in personality. He was such a good decent little boy who would use the right judgement and always made sure school work came before play time. We recently moved closer to his school so he can have more flexibility and not be so alone. He always complained about not being able to see his friends and hang out during weeekends or after school. So this school year, we moved so he can be closer. Then I noticed everytime I request we go home sooner because I have other appointments such as speech therapy etc, he refused to go home and insist that I return later to pick him up. However, this means driving additional 5 miles to pick him up. So yes we moved closer but not close enough because it is still too far for him to walk by himself. I don't know why he feels we are too strict when he has alot of opportunity to hang out with his friends that once a in a while we request him to be home sooner, he fusses and cries. AND there is drama when that happens. Any suggestions from the other experienced parents. Thanks.
2 people like this
5 responses
@foxyfire33 (10007)
• United States
14 Mar 08
Teens can me a headache, I understand! Our oldest is 17 and you can go back through my discussionsand see all sorts of issues! He hated getting up early to meet the school bus at 7am for a 80 minute bus ride so his mom and step dad bought him a $500 truck with the understanding that he got a job. He got a job but still can't pay for anything but gas because he doesn't get many hours and drives all over the place since it's his truck and he thinks he can do whatever he wants with it. All his running around made it harder to get up for school so he more or less quit going. We took away everything but his truck as punishment and told him no school, no work. That worked for about a week but it was too late and the school was threatening to kick him out anyway for poor attendence...he figured why bother going and stayed home until they made it official. It's been a few weeks, he still hardly works, still runs all over with his friends whenever he wants and nothing we say matters. You son sounds a lot like ours...he expects the world to revolve around him and wants to get his way at all costs. I'd love to say it's a phase that will pass but ours has been like this for as long as I've known him. I just wish I'd stepped in sooner since he does seem to respond to me more than the others raising him. I know it's not advice, I just wanted to give you some support. I know how hard it can be!
1 person likes this
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Thank you for sharing this. I don't feel so lousy now knowing that other parents are also going throug this as well. yes that is the right phrase "they beleive the world should revolve around them only". I sometimes don't understand, they get punished for doing something bad, yet my son will turn it around and say that we are being harsh with him and never lets him do anything. Keep in mind, that he has all the things he wants... Except for a car because he cannot drive yet. i dont know anymore. I sometimes wonder if I should send him to boot camp... if there is one!
@mummymo (23707)
15 Mar 08
Oh I know that feeling! My son is 14 and he seemed to change overnight round about 12! Luckily he still behaved at school though did let things slip a little! All the hormonal, physical and emotional changes are hard and I know that whilst you moved for his benefit it is yet another change to deal with! My advice to you is to draw up rules and stick to them - if you start to give in to him he will grow to expect it and throw even more tantrums til he gets his own way I know it is extremely difficult and frustrating - there were many times that I was in tears over my sons attitude and behaviour and everyone kept on telling me it would only get worse and would last for years! Well sweety there is light at the end of the tunnel, my sons behaviour has improved dramatically, he still has strops and attitude, he still throws occasional tantrums but they are usually far less often, not as bad and fade out much quicker than they used to! I talk to my son and he knows he can talk to me about anything, no matter what it is and I know for a fact that some of these talks have helped him tremendously! Don't give up hope sweety, stay strong, stay consistent and stay yourself - things will get better - I promise! xxx
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
17 Mar 08
I hope so. thanks for the encouragement. Yes I have been in tears over my son's attitude and behavior. I seem to be cyring all the time, between dealing with the trobule boy and my autistic daughter. I get so exhausted that I cannot sleep at night because I wake up beleiving I forgot to do something which will trigger my daughter to have another tantrum and my trouble teen to act out. So I don't know what to do anymore. I will take you word and beleive things will get better. I hope this day comes soon, before I sumbit myself into a mental institution because it is driving me crazy.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23707)
18 Mar 08
Oh sweety you do have your hand full don't you? I need to ask this but do you actually ever get anytime to yourself? We all need some me time , whether it is ti have a coffee with friends, relax in a tub , whatever you like that helps you relax and chill out in your own space for a while! If you ever need to talk just give me a shout sweetheart! xxx
• United States
15 Mar 08
How old is your son?. i will start by asking that... then i will think what i think might work for him...
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
17 Mar 08
he is 12 years old.
@Ravenladyj (22920)
• United States
14 Mar 08
My oldest is a teenager now (he'll be 15 in Oct) and we live out in the country...a good 15 miles from his school friends which of course is an issue (for both my kids actually) but we do our best to comprimise..For example I have no problem him staying after school for open gym and takign the second bus home..or him having a friend over for the weekend etc etc... My boy didnt really change any once he became a teen though..I mean he tried to push the limits and I put a stop to it...We do bump heads on occasion but its rare and when it happens we sort it out pretty fast...We also have a very open and honest relationship and talk about everything so when we DO have a disagreement or bump heads we talk it out and find some sort of middle ground... Other than telling you that, I really dont knwo what to tell you...Wish I did..hopefully you can talk it out with him maybe and work out some sort of arrangement....
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
17 Mar 08
Thanks for the advice. Yes he actually has all that options. He can stay afterschool until 5:30 daily, we also ocassionally let him stay over at friends house and allow him to have friends sleep over too. He gets off school at 2:30 so he has about 3 hours to hangout with friends. I dont know he seems depressed lately. I am getting worried.
• Bahamas
15 Mar 08
hi friend. most teenagers push and try to move boundries.they break laws to see how much they can get away with. as parents this can be a challenge. most kids rebel at one time or another. while it is good to give our kids some room to grow and manage their live's without us, we should also insist that they respect house rules. no matter what we do our kids will say we're to strict i hear it all the time. but if trying to protect them makes me strict then so be it.remember they will try emotional blackmail...you must stand firm in the knowlege that you know what's best for him. and only has his best intrest at heart. but look on the bright side although it dose'nt seem like it now things will get better. i wish you the best of luck.