Starting a family

March 17, 2008 9:53am CST
me and my fiance have been discussing starting a family. my parents told me a while baack that if i have children before i finish university they will disown me...which i think is pretty pathetic. but then again, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law manage without her parents, so i guess we would cope. but we both want to start our own family. we have said that we want to wait until we have our own place, mortgage and are married until we start trying. plus my fiance has said that we wants to have some time, just us, once we're married before we start to try. but sometimes we both want babies to badly. its just the way you start to feel i guess when you have been together as long as we have. Vicky x
1 person likes this
4 responses
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
18 Mar 08
I think the decision to have a family should be made between the couple. If you feel that you are ready and can handle the demands of school, work, and a child then by all means go ahead and get started! But it is definitely a decision that should not be entered into lightly and you should be sure that you have considered all possible scenarios before hand. I'm sure that your parents just want what's best for you. Maybe they said they'd disown you, but I am sure that they don't really mean it. I mean, once the little one is born how could they not want to be involved in his/her life? Good luck, whatever you decide!
20 Mar 08
i think we would easily manage to cope. we have just had our nephew for nearly 2 days and we didnt have any problems. other than we only got 30 minutes sleep between 12 midnight and 5am. but even then it wasnt that bad. it was probably because we dont really have much experiance in looking after him at night etc. i guess the more practice we have as a couple the better for us.
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
18 Mar 08
Sometimes I think that parents want so desperately for their children to do things they feel is best for them that they say things without thinking it all the way through. They obviously just want you to get a good education first. But disown you is very harsh. I bet a smiling, bouncing baby would make them rethink that decision.
1 person likes this
20 Mar 08
we have said that if we were to have children that once the baby was here etc ... and once they had got used to the idea that they would soon change their minds.
@jimbelle (485)
• Philippines
21 Mar 08
I think your parents were right to advise you to start your family after finishing school. At this time you will be ready to face the responsilblity of bringing up your own kids- which is not easy to do. By then you will be mature enough to face the challenges of bringing up your children and sustaining family life. just wait and you will be rewarded.
• United States
20 Mar 08
the way this world is going i would not want to bring a child into this world to some women they are disposable and not even cared about the world has alot of problems i would fear bringing a child into all this hate and cruelty look at todays kids how messed up they are it is not like it used to be remember when u were younger what the world was like where do u think its going things are getting worse my heart goes out to the child who is born into this world peer pressure is awful and its only going to get worse. i hope if u are lucky enough to have a child keep an eye open because there are alot of sickos who love to hurt children be sure u are ready for it its a big responsibility and it can be trying babies are cute but they grow up they get a will and a mouth and a mind of there own i hope u get your wish but just make sure u are ready my parents disowned me along time ago so when i had kids i did not have to worry i have raised 2 kids by myself as a single mother and it wasnt hard be gla u wont be doing it alone when it happens its hard for 1 parent so 2 is not always better good luck and congrats on any choice that u do make