Should kids get one present from both parents or a present from each parent?

@vera5d (4006)
United States
March 18, 2008 6:41pm CST
Is it the "norm" for kids to get one birthday present from both parents, or should each parent buy him an individual present specifically from that parent? I always got one present from both parents as a kid - they were never specifically one from my mom, one from my Dad...my hubby always got a present from his mom and his dad seperately - even though they were married & all lived in the same house. I think my hubby's parents are nuts already, so I of course think both parents buying a separate present is silly...he thinks I was deprived of a normal childhood. What do you think? One present from both parents or a present from each individual parent? What did your parents do when you were growing up? What do you do for your kids?
6 people like this
26 responses
@Darkwing (21588)
18 Mar 08
I think it's the "norm" to buy one present from both parents if they are together. If they are living apart, then it's a different matter because dad will want to be involved as well, but that's the way my family always did it... it meant you could have a bigger and better present! Brightest Blessings.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
i agree - it would be different if the parents were split up, my hubby's parents are definately a little strange, lol. They are married almost 50 yrs now, but i wouldn't say it's "happily" lol
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
19 Mar 08
Hmmmm, well maybe they need to buy separate presents, in a "competition" for their kids' affections. Some people are that way too.
2 people like this
@ersmommy1 (12596)
• United States
18 Mar 08
We generally give our presents to our daughter together. That is from both of us. Ocassionally I will get her a little something special from me. Or my husband got his little girl something pertaining to whatever special project they are working on. It just depends. When I was growing up the presents came from mom. She would sign my dads name to things. But I really don't think my dad knows any important dates pertaining to his children.
2 people like this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
my presents were always signed by my mom w/my dads name on it too! good to know i am "normal" lol...
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30194)
• Philippines
19 Mar 08
they should only get one for both parents, at least they would know the parents have prepared for the gift together. :)
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
this is what i grew up with! thanks for the response!
@cripfemme (7713)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I would get a big present from my parents together and then separate small presents (like books or candy) from them separately.
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
thanks for sharing! that could be a good compromise for us perhaps!
• United States
19 Mar 08
i've always had two presents. even though i my parents are divorced, they both are remarried. and i got individual presents from both real parent and step parents. i always felt special that all 4 of my parents took the time to look for something special for me. when i have kids, they are going to get a present from me and then another present from the father.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
you are like my son...poor kid gets bombarded by gifts...2 sets of parent, 4 sets of grandparents - I suppose it does show that the parent took time to pick something...thanks for sharing your experience!
• China
19 Mar 08
I think should be gotten from each parent. though I have not gotten any presents from my parents by now.
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
thsnks for your response!
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I always got presents that said that they were from my mom and dad, but I always knew that my father had nothing to do with the present that was picked out except that he paid for it. He never really put forth and effort on our presents. Even my mom's Christmas presents were ones that she bought herself. My dad would give her the money to buy what she wanted.
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I think that is why my hubby wanted to get my son his own present, to show he picked it out himself...your perspective kind of helps me see his point of view...thanks for sharing!
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
19 Mar 08
If that gift is a brand new $600 game system lil Billy better shut the f**k up and love it. It's from both of us and you made it another year. Holla
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I would never spend that much on my kids! I'm all about the old school original nintendo in my house :)
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
19 Mar 08
Well I guess I shouldn't really answer this question. I didn't have parents growing up and I do not have children now. But, since I am so opinionated I will answer it anyway, LOL. I think that if a couple is married, they should go together and decide on the gift/gifts for the child and the card should read from mom and dad. Children need to see togetherness modeled in the home.
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I always welcome your opinion anyways so thanks for sharing it, lol. I think togetherness being modeled in the home is a very good message for children too!
@suehan1 (4355)
• Australia
19 Mar 08
when i was growing up vera i only got one present from both parents,they were living in the same house.i am a single mum so it is a bit different for my children,as i give them one and so does the dad.cheers sue
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
that is what i think, too!
• United States
19 Mar 08
it depends on alot, like funds, do both of you have a job, stuff like that. I think we do a mix depending on if I have money since i dont have a job, my fiance is a penny pincher and doesnt like to go all out on gifts and i like to go ALL out on gifts, so if i have money i will buy some gifts seperate so that he has more gifts. But I'm also the step mom and when we first got together i bought seperate gifts for two reasons, i had a job and was able to go spend money on him, and my fiance was still a penny pincher and didnt like going all out. My step kid doesnt really play with his toys though so its hard to buy him stuff now. his birthday is in three months, mine is in two months, and my fiances is in four months. So we are all there together, it will be real funny if I have a kid with a birthday aroudn that time.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
we call march april and may birthday season...it's someone's birthday every day it seems, lol. We don't have a ton of money, but that certainly would have a lot to do with it! Sometimes it is good to be a penny pincher...sometimes its stilly...thabks for your response!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Mar 08
yes i know b/c of him being a penny pencher we will be rich one day, so in this case its good just annoying sometimes.
• United States
21 Mar 08
I have grown up with the idea of one present from both parents, but just because of my situation i like the idea of each parent giving a gift. I think this way because i have always gotten the one present from both, but in reality all the thought, time, and money put into that gift was from mom. BUT it somehow always got signed "love mom and dad". My mom even wrote his name for him. Hah.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
22 Mar 08
yes it seems that moms always do the work...from birth until the kids get bigger :)
@queenofarms (1665)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I believe if the parents are married then one gift is enough. If they are divorced then I think the child should get a gift from each. I received only one gift from my parents. And I only give one gift to my children from my husband and I.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
21 Mar 08
this is what i thought too! thanks for the response!
19 Mar 08
Oh i think from both is good i think its nicer when its from your parents, If maybe they had split up i could understand but i think it's silly if they all live in one house, But its weird how poeple have different rituals in there house hold! x
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
well, i am learning my hubby isn't as crazy as I thought, that's for sure! There sure are a lot of different customs for birthdays, that's for sure!
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I got more than one birthday present but they were all from both of my parents. My older children get gifts from both of us but that is because we are divorced. When we were married their gifts were from both of us. My youngest daughter's gifts are all from both me and my husband.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
it does get trickier with step parents - my son has both a step mom & step dad!
• United States
19 Mar 08
As long as the parents are together, one present I think is the norm. That's how it was with me. It's weird to hear that married parents give separate gifts. My only understanding is if the parents are very different and can't agree on a single gift.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
that is what i thought too!
@suspenseful (40314)
• Canada
19 Mar 08
You must have been deprived. We always gave one present to each person, be it our sons, my husband, my daughter-in-law, etc. My parents always gave separate presents for me and my brother. It would have been silly otherwise, because well it sends a message about your worth and it would have said that had I got one present from both of them, that my father was influencing my mother in what they should give me. Okay, supposing you wanted a Barbie Doll, but you never got one and the reason being, that your father decided that perhaps something was more appropriate. What you have to do is to think what you always wanted, that did not cost, and there you have your answer. So your husband's parents are sensible.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I don't think I was deprived...I was always quite happy with any present I got from them...but I do see the point. Thanks for the response!
@ebsharer (5516)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I guess that I got one present from the both of them. For our kids we buy one present but we buy our own cards. Like for our daughter I bought her a mommy to daughter card and my husband bought her a daddy to daughter card. I seen in one of your post that your husband is your sons step dad I think its great that he wants to carry on the tradition of what his parents did with him to YOUR child. It shows that he wants to take the time to find the perfect gift from him for your son. If you can afford to buy 2 presents let him buy his own. Personally I wouldn't pick this battle let it go and let him be the great person he is trying to be. I know my dad never even knew what he got me till I opened it. I would rather know that my daddy thought of me specially then mommy did what she ALWAYS does.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
I think for him that is what it is about, he wants to show he took the time to get something they can do together, even if it is small.
• India
19 Mar 08
Hi, Your opinion regaeding present is ok.Regarding my opinion father or mother one can purchase prsent.Seprate present is not necessary.It look bad. Thank u
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
this is what i think...thanks for the response & welcome to mylot!
@gemini_rose (16192)
19 Mar 08
We always just get them presents from us both together. I have four kids can you imagine what an expensive nightmare that would be if we were to buy them seperate presents. My mum and dad never bought presents seperately either.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
19 Mar 08
that definately would get expensive!