Rant: Parents trying to pick my university
By daryush
@daryush (42)
March 23, 2008 11:36am CST
Grrr. Sorry about this rant I just feel the need to tell someone and get it out in the open.
Basically, my parents have been planning my career since I was really little (yes, the "you want to be a doctor when you grow up, don't you" started that early, and yes, I am Asian). So I've come to that point where I have to pick universities. Well, now I'm also realising that I don't particularly want to do medicine either - things like biochem or chemistry are looking much more attractive. Anyway, I put myself down for medicine and I don't particularly want to change as I'm hoping that somewhere down the line I will be drawn back to it.
So here's the real problem - my parents REALLY don't want me to go to my first (and second) choice universities in Scotland - they'd rather I remain in England - apparently it's more expensive if I move further away because I'd be more independant (doing my own food, washing etc). My parents literally take every opportunity to try convince me to listen to them (and all my offers havent even come through!). I wish they would just stay out of my life sometimes - it's not theirs to control.
End of rrant. Sorry about that, I just needed to get it off my chest somewhere. What do you guys think?
2 people like this
11 responses
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
23 Mar 08
I think that it might be a good idea for you to visit a careers adviser and then you could discuss which course that you would like to do, which universities that you would like to apply for and what your future career choice is. You need to consider your A level results, you interest in different subjects and read about what the courses you are keen on are like. Medicine is a challenging subject that would need commitment and many years of study. Alternative careers might be a dentist, a vet, an optician, a physiotherapist or a chemist. Living away from home would teach you to be more independent and living at home you might feel like you are living in your parents pockets. You don't want to upset your parents so I think you should see a careers adviser as I have already suggested then apply for 2 university places near home to please your parents and university places away from home that would please you. Good luck.
2 people like this
@skbh12 (2946)
• Philippines
24 Mar 08
since my family is inclined in medical field, i was asked to take up medicine first to be an obstetrician gynecologist and replace my mom as she retires from work but then as i applied for some universities, she told me to take up nursing instead and work abroad. now im a nurse and i felt not liking my job anymore because it is a very tiring work especially when you work here in the Philippines. you do all the work and you never get to rest for seconds like sit in a chair because relatives would call you from time to time to have their patient checked.. it is a very tiring work and you even dont get to go home at the right time and still they wont pay you for your overtime.. damn!
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
23 Mar 08
Who is paying for your further education? If you don't want to go where they want you to then you should find a way to pay for your own education. You have your hand out then say stay out of my life but pay for me to get education. Your an adult now so do what you want but don't expect your parents to pay for it.
@HawaiiGopher (1009)
• Belgium
23 Mar 08
I am completely against your parent's way of thinking. They should be behind you no matter what and support you. They have no right to control what will have an effect on the rest of your life.
1 person likes this
@mrsbrian (1949)
• United States
23 Mar 08
being a parent I know as our children grow we say oh my son will someday be a fine dr. but::: i would never tell him what he is going to be as we grow in life we find things that intrest us and that includes what we want to become as an adult, so i say tell them this is what I want and if you want to help pay for that fine , if not than I will find another way to become --- whatever you have chosen.
1 person likes this
@chrissieatu (1033)
• China
24 Mar 08
I can understand how do you feel. I am Asian but I live in China. You know, we have that moment when we have to pick a university. It's really annoy that your parents give you too many "directions". Because that's your life, not theirs. But maybe they just do not want you to try that many times until you find "the one". I don't know. It's really complicated.
Fortunately, I generally have my freedom to make a decision. I am that kind of people who can not do it well if I do not like it. Maybe my parents are just quite well aware of that. And I stick to my mind very much. Basically, they can not make me to change. In this aspect, I just won't give in.
Wish you good luck and can pick your favorite university.
@hey_baby (425)
• Philippines
24 Mar 08
i suggest you inquire from schools and courses you want , print it out and have a serious, non-argument discussion with your parents. Tell them you really want to take that course and go to that school. Maybe if they see your researches/print outs, they might think you're taking your education seriously.
Also tell them how responsible you're going to be and that you'll cause them no troubles and make them proud (and mean it)
good luck!
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
24 Mar 08
Your parents have a right to choose where to send you to school IF they will be paying for your tuition. If you want to be able to choose where to go, you will have to finance your own education.
Regardless of who pays, it should be your choice as to what course of study to take up because it will be your career and future at stake.
@Nushka (75)
• Argentina
24 Mar 08
Not anybody can be a medic. It doesn't depend on how smart you are. It is about communicating with people and understanding what is going on with them.
If you are attracted by chemistry and stuff to for it!
This is your first step into independence and you can show your parents that you can be a responsible person. Gather all the information you can about the world of scientific research and academic life and expose your case to them.
I'm a molecular biologist and I have no regrets about getting into science. You will get to work with really smart people (smarter than most medics actually)and your nerves will be healthier. It is not a glamorous life but it sure is interesting.
If there's anything I can do to help, let me know.
Best of luck!
Please, keep me posted.
@noyarbry (77)
• Philippines
24 Mar 08
go and talk to your parents. discuss your plans. i think it will be worthless if you will pursue a course that you are not really interested in. you will be just wasting time and resources. and if they still insist then maybe you can work out a compromise.
@bluecrystal1982 (235)
• Philippines
24 Mar 08
Try to have a serious talk with you parents and discuss the consequences of their decision. Give them good reason for your decision. It would be really better if you will be on a course that suits your interest. I also advice you to think very carefully about the course that you like. I once remember when I was a child that when i grow up I want to be this and that. If you are really decided, talk to your parents about it.
