How do you treat children with disabilities?
By TriciaW
@TriciaW (2441)
United States
March 24, 2008 7:01am CST
I have a daughter that has disabilities the main one being dwarfism. She has had some hard times in her life but I think the hardest is how people treat her from time to time. Kids can be cruel we all know that and she pretty much accepts that. It is adults that tend to hurt her feelings more then children. Comments they make or looks they give can be so hurtful and they don't even know it. If another child makes a comment she makes one back and it is pretty much done with but I have taught her to be respectful of adults and so she doesn't say anything to them. Some adults have no clue what the term midget does to my daughter nor do they think it is wrong to call her one. So you know she is a little person not a midget.. not an elf.. and not a circus act. She is a young girl that has feelings and tries her best to keep up with children her age that are average height. I know my daughter's disability isn't the only one that adults make comments about. I cringe when I hear adults use certain slangs for a child that has a disability. Of course not being a shy person I usually point it out to them and explain the correct term. So how about you do you speak to a child with a disability as you would any other child? Do you stay away from slangs? It is ok to be honest and ask the parents for the correct terms we would appreciate it or at least most of us would. Do you find out how you can educate your own children on these matters? I am just curious and it is ok if you say you have messed up and done these things. We all need to learn sometime right? Moving forward and not doing it anymore is the most important thing.
6 people like this
10 responses
@mastermind32 (95)
• India
24 Mar 08
Hey i would like to suggest some steps
If you see someone who has a disablility, understand what they are going through. Realise that they didn't choose their condition and it is not grounds for making fun of them.
Treat them with as much respect as you with anyone else, but don't coddle them. As with anyone else, they will let you know if they want you to change something you are doing.
If you really have difficulty accepting them, don't even spend time around them. Nobody wants to be with someone who's just going to make fun of them.
Tips :
Don't laugh at htings they do, unless it's very obvious that they are purposely being funny.
Act interested! it will take your mind off of how peculiar they might seem.
Research their condition. May be you will find out that they are just like you but they look different.
2 people like this
@popocan (222)
• Hong Kong
25 Mar 08
Those people are nasty! I would never ever do that to a child with disability. I would see them as a normal child and to be very honest, I would give them extra credit as they must spend extra effort in learning and coping things.
I watched a programme series in Discovery home and health channel about little people months ago, I would recommend it to people if there is a replay. The content is of good education and will make you smile.
@nokia6233 (937)
• India
25 Mar 08
its very bad that even adults are treating her like that...
i have a firend whose friend is also disabled...i feel sorry for them...
but the best way to treat them is to treat like any other normal child as even if we take extra care of them then they will feel some what differnt from others...
1 person likes this
@odosbucket (42)
• United States
25 Mar 08
Sadly, too many people don't know how to interact with anyone who is "different". Some folks are plain mean/rude; some people are just too curious, some mean well but don't know the right things to say. When I encounter a child who is "different" in some way, disabled or otherwise, I treat them just like anyone else. I don't ask what's wrong with the kid or anything like that. If the parents strike up a conversation and want to talk about it that's fine, but it's not my place to ask. My daughter is not disabled but is a different race than us which makes us "different" too. Some people see nothing wrong with asking all kinds of personal questions. Sometimes I will educate, sometimes I will ignore, depending on the person's attitude. Of course I am teaching her to treat everyone equally. There is a little boy with CP in her preschool class, and she plays with him and hugs him and treats him just like the rest of her friends. It doesn't even occur to her to treat him differently. If only adults were like that!
@hotice_steve (38)
• India
24 Mar 08
I really sympathize with you .
For a start explain to your daughter that the fault lies with the people who comment. They are not brought up well- result of Bad parenting. Also that people like to vent of frustation. Poking fun at some one is a good excuse.
Personally I don't recollect teasing anyone on a disability. My peers taught me well. Infact my mom told me to defend such kids. They really do need the extra love & care. I did get into a fight or two with people who tried to tease someone. I got good support from others & the culprits had to back track.
I must say many adults need the education in behaviour . The Children will surely follow.
I hope & wish you & others with similar concerns all the best in explaining to the small dear ones.
I am afraid if such things go on then the poor disabled children develop a nasty attitude towards others. Many things have happened.
The disabled do need all the extra love & care. Talk a lot to them about life in the positive especialy when some one teases. Tell the fault lies with the ones who tease not of them. If you endure & remain cool your kid too will. It has to rub on.
God Bless
Things must improve.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
24 Mar 08
I talk to them just like I would another child. I have a son with CP and the kids just accept it most of the time and go on. They will talk and play with him. The parents alot of the time seem intimidated or scared of him. If they have questions, I would prefer they just ask. I have found the kids to be the most accepting. My son in nonverbal, but loves it when people try to talk with him. I cannot believe the difference of going to a mall and someplace like a dollar store. At the mall, he is snubbed all the time, but go in a dollar store and most of them will at least speak to him. I guess it is just a different class of people. These kids did nothing to have to go through what they do, and should be treated just like any other.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
24 Mar 08
That is so sad that people say hurtful things to her. I'm sure that some say terms not to be mean but because they don't know any better. I'm sure I've probably used some of the slang without meaning to be hurtful. I would never treat a child differently because of a disability. I am trying to teach my kids to be the same way. This was a great discussion for you to start. I hope that maybe it brings attention to people who do it all the time.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
24 Mar 08
Being a handicap myself, I know what it's like to be teased and it's not fun however, I don't get upset if one were to use the wrong term because I know that they don't know any better and will correct them on the spot but in a nice way. I was born legally deaf and my brother has a herititary disease in which made him legally blind. Also my parents had adopted a little girl who had major kidney problems and so because of that, it had stunted her growth. So we were a family of disabilities so we knew how to respect one another and talk to people without realizing their disability. My problem is this, people don't know about my disability until I tell them because it's not something one can see. I wish it were because people in stores tend to talk very softly and I have to ask them to speak up because I'm hard of hearing and yet a lot still won't speak up so I'm left frusterated so I'll try to find another person to help me out.
I do agree though that people need to what their tongue when talking to people with disabilities because they never know when one might hit them one day.
1 person likes this
@xXxMikesWifeyxXx (3072)
• United States
25 Mar 08
You know its a shame that people dont think before they speak. I think if they did,half of them would have said ir done things they have before. I never use the slang terms. im not hatefull. and i never tend to be mean about anything of the nature. actually, i am the opposite, i wanna help kids deal with things like this. i wanna be a teacher for them. My goal is to be that in 5 years...
im sorry to hear your daughter is experiencing things like this.
But it sounds as if she has a wonderful mom who can help her through times like this:)
