Friends and their issues .... How do you help them???

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This got me to thinking last night after I talked to a friend of mine that is going through some rough spots in life. He thinks he is meant to be alone because he has woman issues. I tried talking to him about it and trying to get him to understand that there is a way to overcome problems in life. We all know I have had more than my fair share when it comes to this. I even went as far as telling him some of the methods I use to keep me motivated in my search for a happy, healthier life. He doesn't think that will work for him. I understand when something happens to someone that is detrimental to their welfare and how hard it is to change. I've been there done that. I just don't understand why we as people feel the need to put our guard up every time someone suggests something new. We are quick to shut them down and stay in our "safe zone". I get this vibe from him that that's what he is doing. How do you get someone out of their safe zone?