am i just being silly about it? really?

haha, love that statement! thanks for the response, yes he is my responsibility and i am his. my husband is very open that he is getting tired of his crap and just dont want to ruined the friendship they have but if this will just keep going and going he says he'd rather hurt her feelings than to cause our marriage a problem. true, she tried so hard to make him forget me (before we get married) and talk trash bout me so he will think twice but she never wins. and like i said i honestly understand that a jealous person can talk this way or do silly stuff just because they are hurting. beside i understand that some people it is hard for them to lose their best friend over someone whom they think is not as good as her. she used to be the 1st in the list and suddenly she is NOWHERE and that really drives her crazy coz she have this ME ME ME attitude. oh well! YES, my hubby is almost like a PERFECT man, friend and husband. i have witnessed how he cares of other people (whether he know them or not) animals, and nature. just one of the million reason why i love this man. that's cool to know you're friends with all of them. i know all his friends except that one and we do talked or meet sometime but not really that close coz they have their own world too. i have told my hubby my desire and he does respect that and stands by me with this one despite his friend being hurt. btw, im not worried about her dog bringing sick coz she is very cautious about that and she always have this mentality of bringing her property to the best place to be taken cared of. he told me that that dog have chewing problem (she likes to chew whatever she sees) and just pee everywhere (we have our dog and he is very well trained even when he is a puppy, we never have problems with him when it comes to stuff like this) despite this, i am not worried coz i have taken cared of other dogs as well (from his friend which i met before they leave the dog) my only concern is THE FRIEND's behavior. you are totally right when you say that she should be responsible of her dog coz she bought it in te first place, her husband and kids will be home but she is worried that they cannot take care of her coz they are worst than her. so far, i know we are not taking the dog coz she is pissed that i am interfering with this matter and that my husband is listening to my demand. im sure, one of these days she will write him or call him and say stuff but i told him that he knows where she stands and dont push me to ground my hubby of seeing her coz i am almost to that point. i just dont want to be that crazy over her and i still want them to be friends despite all this. anyway, thanks for sharing your stories i appreciate you giving your side it means a lot to me. takecare

hello again, i am happy to know that you found your happiness now. i know it is not easy to be strong when people always judge you and degrade you. i have been in that position too and i fight so hard not to give up coz i dont want to give them the happiness and satisfaction that they win and see me the way they want me to be. i have met a lot of people like your teacher and i can honestly say that my father i guess is the worst (when it comes to degrading one's soul) he keeps telling me, my siblings and mom (they are separated since i was 7) and he will come to our home to visit and say a lot of crap. it is very painful coz as a child you want a father figure and dont expect that you will hear such painful words coming from someone whom you think will protect you. he told me i am not gonna be happy in life, wont travel anywhere in the world, wont enjoy life, wont finish high school and worst college and the most painful part is when he says you are going nowhere so it is best to just end you life. now all he said i have achieved, i have traveled some parts of the world and see that in every rain there is a rainbow, NO i dont hate my dad, but at times if i remember the past it still pains me. it is very great of you to teach your son that way. love and respect is very important values to share to your kid. i have always kept that until now. i guess that's why i tried to understand and respect people or person despite their behavior. i know his friend is very unhappy in her life and she often based happiness on what she have materially. as far as i know she likes to spoiled her kids and dont have much respect about life and property. i just feel bad that their dog shouldnt behave that way just because of their behavior. yes, i agree that if you want to have any kind of pet you should be responsible for it and teach them what is right or wrong just like you teach your self and your kid. there is no such excuse as THEY DONT LISTEN so just let it be. problem now, we often just ignore and let it be and we only realized how bad the outcome is when encounter situation that is beyond our control. i am happy that you have a family to call your own even though they are just friends. i dont have friends on my area and the only person i have 24/7 is my hubby. back in my hometown i have all kinds of friends and little kids (i love kids) that comes to my home and i play with them and their parents trust me to nanny their kids. i miss that. out here, most people are busy with their own life and the only time i see them is at night or during weekends but then i cant be with them coz weekends is for their own family. your lucky to have them and i know you know how to value and cherish them. it only comes once in our lifetime so make the most out of it. dont worry i am not angry with her anymore, i WAS coz i feel too insulted but i have realized she just dont have what i have and most people who dont have it want to ruined whoever haves it. it is hard for me to live my life if i know i am hurting someone or if i am angry, i cant sleep normal, may sound funny but it's true. i like to live my life peacefully and no grudges at all. im still trying and i hope my journey to that will end soon. anyway, takecare and i wish you and your family all the best and happiness as well. you sound to be a very good mom. i hope you keep it up, we need a lot of your kind!goodnight!

That woman is the most stupid woman I have heard of. If her kids and husband are worst than her she should even be ashamed of it . it means that she is not responsible enough to bring up children. That is terrible she can't handle kids right then she got a dog. see the dog Pees anywhere because that's what she is teaching the dog.I don't go to the dog house my boyfriend has because I'm very scared of pets but they are so clean and like yours they follow instructions .I'm saying even if she ain't' mad at you don't take that dog because it is not a clean dog you gonna end up having yours get all dirty and sick. Natural people with Me Me thing are always lazy and jealous. I think that she's just bringing the anger from her home and family unto you. but you should ignore her. and. Right my boyfriends buddies they would call me no mater what let go hang out it is like a whole gang of women going shopping g we use three cars. and the guys are picking us up because of the kids. more so we made it like a family so we don't have to worry on days like that if it is shopping we put the money together and shop for every one at home. some times live together all the kids think we are sisters and brothers but just friends. some people are so jealous especially if you are making progress with your life. I know some people who use to laugh at me. some of them are my class mate but when I look at them today some times I wanna help them but I can't because at the time they had nice wealthy husbands after graduating from High school and that. I did not know what to do and I stayed home then decided to go to college. there I met one of my class mate that woman made me feel like dropping out. we were in the same class. she will lecture us about the wealth of her husband his businesses. one day during group project she said to me do you have a boyfriend now? i said no and she started laugh and told the others I was like that in high school. she mad a fool of me right there I never answered her.Two year s later I graduated from that college and then move on to another school. when I visited one of my very nice instructor a few weeks ago I found out she was still at the school trying to make her degree. my instructor asked me to come back and talk to the class because I have has most of my work with him and he's using them as samples to teach others.. she was kind o f hiding her face. i did not disgrace her. i greeted her we went out side chat then my boyfriend came over to pick me up after she told me her husband and her siled up because he was drinking, she acted so strang when she swa my boyfriend getting out of the car to open the door for me. I told my son to say hi to her because we were at the same school and my boyfriend did the same. she gave me her email and phone number. some times i think that some people need to be themselves. I have told my boyfriend what she did to me . He said forgive and forget it. . so now once in a while I try to call her. she even borrowed money from me to pay her rents. it was shocking but i have nothing to do coz my boyfriend would not let me handle the bills. so i gave her the money I know she has two kids or so. I feel sorry for her. coz back then she should have used her husband position to study and take life serious but she was mean an d stupid like your hubby's friend. I think you are right that woman needs to stay in her own home . she's not the kind of friend to invite over. may be he should even stop her for writing him mails. as long as it is your house do what is best for you your hubby and kids If she does not like it she can jump in the lake it is your house. she got her own let her stay there. friends like that are no friends. they are the result of problems in people's life. for us now any one who has a new friend at home or at work we introduce you to what we call sister hood and you have to bring your husband and kids for dinner. I love my boyfriend's friends very much. we handle the guys together every thing together it is really nice. the good thing is that we all have the same profession so it is like a family come together because we speak the same language

hi there! thanks for dropping by and giving your points. i was worried all day bout my decision coz i am not that kind of person and i do try to be reasonable most of the time. i am (so is he) aware that she is doing as much as she can to ruin this relationship even before we get married but we are not giving in on her dreams (lol) not sure if she really cared bout my husbands feelings coz sometimes we think that she is just afraid to lose a real friend (my hubby is her only friend that she can really call friend - most of them goes away coz of her personality) oh, we always talk about her and i told him that despite all this troubles i am not complaining and still want him to continue the friendship. we're together almost 24/7 and i feel it is healthy that he have other person/friend/family to spend time with other than me coz i would love to be treated like that too we have a very good communication and it really is a great foundation of our relationship beside our love and respect of course. anyway, thanks for making me feel good :) that i did a reasonable move. takecare

hi subha12, appreciate your time to response and for justifying my action. i am very aware that she is a very rude lady and always wants her way, ONLY her way. as far as i know we are not going to take care of the dog after what had happened yesterday coz she is really pissed and wrote him an email stating that she will just find someone to take care of the dog coz it's very complicated to ask us for help, what a joke! anyway, thanks again! takecare

hi rockvixen! thanks for the response, i appreciate your concern. dont worry i know my husband well and i know his types (LOL) he is always honest to me and if they go out to eat for lunch (at least 2x a mo) he makes sure he calls me before and after they eat. also they meet not more than 30min and they usually eat to places where the managers or the staff knows me. beside, all of them knew her coz they've been friends that long and when i came to his life, most of those people will tell me how much my hubby loves me and talks about me all the time, i guess that's another reason why she is so pissed coz she wants all the attention and when i came she becomes least of his priorities. he always tell me everything so that makes me feel comfortable if she meet her or other friends. my husband works at home so we're like together 24/7 all the time (except if he have to travel) and i have all the information about that too. he NEVER gives me reason to doubt him ever in our whole relationship. we've both been hurt in the past really bad and we both know what it's like and how much devastating it is to be in such position so we know basically where we stand. btw, my hubby argues with her all the time and they fight coz he will always fight for me and not her and since they've been like best friends before he dont want to ruin the relationship just because she is jealous. i even suggest to him that he should stop talking about me s she dont have reason to say anything about me. she tried her best not to mention nor hear anything bout me. so they are settled that if they talk or together he is not gonna mention my name, just for respect to her feelings. i have nothing against such situation coz like i said she is a friend and i know my hubby always takes care of his friends and he always treats them like a family and i do admire such personality in him. yes, i have think about it and i always see how many times he stood up for me and give up everything he has just to be with me and to me him wanting to keep his friends (even the retard ones - haha) is not too much to ask. anyway, i appreciate everything you said and helps me feel a lot better coz i feel bad that i know i am hurting someone emotionally but oh well, that's the only way i know she can keep her mouth shut! takecare!

hi bethany1202, yes, they have been friends (best friends) that long and we've been together for 5yrs and YES i have never met her nor speak with her coz she ask for that and i RESPECT it despite all her crappy talk coz she is his friend. we both feel that it is driving her crazy that for 5yrs i have been his priority and always talks about me and just ME ME ME, back then it is all hers and if she want to meet him or help her he is always there to give a hand. she's always been childish ever since even before i comes in the picture and he knows that pretty well, we always laugh about her coz most of the time you can tell that she is being psychotic., i told him she is just in love with him so she does crazy stuff like that. i think she wants me to get angry and cause a break up in our marriage and the fact that i am not buying any of her crap makes it more worst. i make it clear to my hubby that this time i am the one demanding and not giving on the demand so he have to respect that and she have to respect that. if they cannot, then that's a different story and he knows me well. i can be your sweetheart forever and will try to be as understanding as i can be but when im done IM DONE! thanks for saying i am being reasonable im doubting myself when i demand it coz i dont want him to lose a friend coz of me but i am just too tired of it. takecare

haha, what a coincidence ei? glad that she never try to communicate with me coz that is something i will not tolerate and i will then be more forceful on my decision coz such thing will really ruin the marriage. beside knowing him, he will not gonna let that thing happen so im sure she knows that and will not even try such thing coz she will be put to a place where she really belongs. that's a great thing to know that you do trust your husband that much, i feel it is very important to all kind of relationship. i believe that if a man wants to cheat, no matter what he will still cheat on you despite all the guards you put on just to keep his eye on you. i feel that the more you try to cage some one the more they will try to escape and i dont want that to be the case. i honestly know what it feels like to be in both position and he knows it too. so i just try to put my shoes on their position so i have a better understanding of the situation. like i said in one of my response above,,, we both been hurt really bad in the past and the least we want to do is to cause such pain to anybody specially to either him or i. we both have learned our lesson from our past and we uses that as our tool to make this relationship work, better and a happy one compared to our previous. anyway, thanks for sharing your story at least i am not alone :) i commend you for standing still for your hubby despite all this issues. i like that... we are not silly,,, just some woman are crazy ( i have to giggle on that one, haha) takecare

that is very true! i believe that if you have a great foundation in your relationship then nothing can break that apart. yet, i agree that it only takes ONE to break it, it doesnt necessary mean another girl but it can mean something too. i know my relationship is not that perfect but i am happy that i can tell him everything and if we cant agree to something we compromise. i think often times in a relationship, no one wants to give in and that often cause problems. it is not easy to always be that understanding but watching it helping the love grows makes me realized it's worth it! except of course if that is something that is no longer acceptable then it needs to end. takecare! i wish you both all the best and i hope that friend of his finds her real love so they dont have to bother you both :) goodnight!

We really need to take effort in protecting our families. We should always keep an open mind on everything, think well and decide on the best action we should take in every circumstances. It takes two to make love grow, but needs only one to break it. Cheers to us!

hello, cant help but have a big smile when you mention that YOU want her out of our lives, haha! thats very kind of you. my husband and i know that the only reasons this bothers her a lot is because of 2 reason 1. she is so in love with my hubby 2. she cant accept that we are inlove and happy with out lives. it will take a huge test to break us up and i dont think it will be her coz i already know what kind of person she is and i know that they are just good friends and that is all. i allow my husband to have lunch with her or meet her sometimes because they are good friends and to me friends should remain friends no matter what status one or the other is. he havent heard from her for almost a week now so that's the longest so far, but im sure she will one of these days. i already told him that it will bother me know but i will STILL try to respect him and his friendship with her coz i love him and i want him to keep who ever friends he wants to keep. he said, "i promise to take care of it" whatever that means, haha! LOL, a movie story ei? the title will gonna be... THE GOOD AND THE BAD.... hahaha, i rest my case! takecare and thanks for spending time reading my novel :)

hi modestah! sorry to miss your response, i have no idea why i miss it, i guess i am just too tired all day. anyway, thanks for your advices. i can honestly say that my husband and i are completely one, we're very much connected to every thing we do and belief in life. he make it clear to her where she stands and even told her many times to stop acting like she is his wife coz they are just friends and he is not his property. my man's personality is so loving that he hates to cause any pain to anybody be it friend or not. and the fact that i encourage him to stick with his friends make me feel that part of it is my fault coz i always try to understand what is going on. but i guess, there is always limitation in everything and this is the "IT". im very happy that he always stands by me and supports me wholeheartedly and never a day that he makes me doubt hos love to me. i think most of her problem is that she is not happy in her life as well as her marriage and we both think that part of it is that she cant accept that we are perfectly happy and she just cant take that. btw, i have to commend the hubby of her's coz he puts up with all her crap most of the time. oh well, that's their story not mine. anyway, thanks again for sharing your thoughts regarding this matter. appreciate it a lot. takecare

yeah i grew up with my parents thinking that you should cut out everyone except for family. i dont agree at all it is good to have some kind of outlet but unfortunately there are some that try to cross the line.

yeah, i know what you mean and what it's like. i guess to some, they always think that what they say is the right one and the only way without realizing that the person is different than her/him. i feel at times it is our fault that we let that people behave in such a way coz we think that is good and we dont want things to be complicated but in the end it will be worst than what we thought. if only we knew how to things affect before we do it then it will be great BUT it will never be the case. anyway, thanks for coming back and sorry for my delay, my in-law is here and i have been fixing a lot of stuff for a week now. will be more busy for 7 days from now. takecare and goodnight!

hi msfreeze, thanks for sharing your opinion and story with me. my husband knows me well that i am not the kind of person who will ask him to turn down a friend just because they dont like me. he makes sure to her that if she continues to disrespect me and our marriage then they are no longer friends and will just forget the 15yrs of it. he just dont want it to end in a bad way and i dont want it to end that way either. i have a bestfriend who ignores me completely just because his wife doesnt like me (she is jealous that i once admit that i fell in love with him) but i told him that it is just an honest mistake coz i thought i love him but i dont. anyway, i was too young then and it really hurts me so much when he set me aside for reason that his wife doesnt like me as his best friend. so being to that position in the past, i dont want someone to feel such hurt just because she doesnt like me or dont want anything to do with me. i guess, i am just trying to give most people excuse and i know sometimes it is not healthy anymore. anyway, im glad to know that you are still good friends with your past friends, it is very important to have them as they make you an individual. takecare

hi carolyn63, glad to hear from you again! thanks for your kind words it is very soothing :) that's the first time i ask her to do something on my favor and i feel it is just right, if i will ask someone for help i will personally ask for it and that person dont have to ask for it. i have dog nanny before for his friends and they all ask me personally and bring the dog in our home, no need to meet somewhere just to get the dog. i love to take care of the dog, and i feel bad that she is being to childish about it when she can just take her car and ride to our home., just dont get it. fact is, her hubby and kids are at home but she cant even trust them to have the dog, just really sad. i have never ask my husband to do something like this for me coz i always try to give way and just let it be but i am happy that he does understand my point and agrees with me completely. i hope she starts learning that not all she wants happens the way she wants it, when she wants it. specially to us. appreciate you taking part of my thread. takecare

yes, she have many problems specially in her behavior. most of the time we feel bad for her coz she is not happy in life and marriage and just based most of her happiness in materially, so i guess that's what triggers it, she cant accept the fact that her dear friend is very happy and contented in life now and that her friend leave all the wealth in life just to be with me, the poor girl he fell in love with. she loves control we both know that, she gets really pissed if things doesnt go her way and she will do her best to twist something to be it the way she wants it. NOW, she dont have the same power over him coz i always comes first and she dont like that. anyway, part of me feel sorry for what she have in life despite her richness but i know (we both know) that she is not truly happy like us. thanks again! time for us to sleep now, haha! long long day! and another long day again tomorrow, takecare and goodnight!

Sweetie, sounds to me like this woman has some control issues. Usually you will find when someone has no control over her own life, she will try to rule her friends. Obviously since her family won't cow down to her, she tries to make others do so. She needs to get control over her self!

hi there! in our relationship we both agreed that we're not gonna dictate each other to do and what not to do. we believe that a healthy relationship allows the other to grow and still be an individual. we are both aware of our limitations and our main goal is to love each other and not hurt each other. you're right, it is his own decision to keep the friendship or not and i give him that benefit with all my heart coz his happiness, friends, family and likes matters to me the same way it matters to him. anyway, thanks for the support appreciate it! takecare

sorry to misunderstand you, he values the friendship so much coz of the years they have been friends. and he told me that if something bothers me i let him know and he will do something about it. i know most people will say the same way you did but if i say (to him) something doesnt bother me then he will just keep it coz i say i want him to keep any friends he have whether they like me or not. even before this happened (way back before we start dating) i make it clear to him that no matter what people think or feel about me i will not let that affect the relationship and i stand by my words till i get enough of it. i have been to the same situation like this and he never ask me to ignore a friend and just understand that they are a friend and we are all entitled of our own views. most friends dont agree to everything and we both think that despite all the differences of the belief a friend will always be a friend. anyway, i know what you mean, my head seems to be clouded today coz i have been running around doing stuff coz my in-law will be here for a visit and we want to make the stay as best as we could. my apologize if i am confusing you, my bad! takecare!

I am not saying that you should make him decide on it. The way I have done when in a situation like this ,I made a decision that she could cause a problem, and I stepped away from her. Not so much because my girlfriend asked me too (She never did), but because I saw how she disrespected my girlfriend, there by disrespected me. I am not saying that your husband has to do as I did, just sharing experience :).

hi kevin, i wish it is as easy as that, i think i have put up so much already and this is really not my personality to be pissed that much. it will take me long to be in this position so i guess, it obviously is not easy not to care. anyway, appreciate you dropping by! takecare