If your child's other parent lives far from you...

@eden32 (3973)
United States
March 26, 2008 9:53am CST
how do you handle visitations? Or if you were a child who's parents lived in different states, how were your visits handled? I have two children with my ex, the eldest is an adult the younger is about to turn 15. To make a long story very short, she currently lives in his home and goes to school in that town- but spends most of her non-school hours at my home. My family is contemplating a move out of state. An opportunity presented itself that may just be way too good to pass up. I have talked to my daughter about it, and she is open to the move. I would not try to force her to move, and if she decides she doesn't want to move; I'll pass on the offer. My ex and I have had our ups and downs (obviously or he wouldn't be my ex) but at the moment we have a pretty good co-parenting approach and I would prefer to maintain that. At her age, if it came to going to court we both know a judge would very likely allow my daughter to live with whichever parent she chooses. But again, I don't want to be a jerk like that. I know they're close, and I want to support them remaining close. What I would like is practical ideas & experiencing, so I can present him with a plan for maintaining visits when I am ready to talk to him about the idea. I think she's mature enough to take a plane or train by herself, but I wonder if rules about minors flying alone have changed in the past few years? I wonder if seeing her father every other or every three months is reasonable? Or is that just out of line to suggest? I know I wouldn't be OK with a plan like that in reverse, but honestly I saw my father less frequently as a child and he lived just a couple of towns away. The moving idea is still in it's beginning stages. If I can't work this out, I'll pass on it & be OK with that too. But I'd like feedback from those who have been there about what worked. Oh and it's a move of a couple of states- about a 10hr drive, couple hours by train or about an hour by plane.
2 people like this
1 response
• United States
27 Mar 08
I guess one thing that should be asked ,is your daughter looking forward to going to highschool in the town she lives in or is she willing to move?If she has her very best friend and they are looking forward to going to prom and being a senior at this school , then maybe she should live with dad and visit you on weekends and vacation time.But if she doesn't have a very best friend and couldn't care less about prom at this school, then make arrangements for her to move with you. I think you shouldn't pass up an opportunity for the move. And she is 15 so soon, and sooner than yo think, she will be off to college.