What are Your Views On Marrying at a Young Age? Or Do You Prefer to Marry Late?

Marriage  - 
To marry young or old?
@zed_k4 (17589)
Singapore
March 27, 2008 5:57pm CST
A Good Day to all mylot members, here is a discussion for all of you. I would like to know what are your views on marrying at a young age? Or do some of you prefer to marry later in life? And are there any impact to making this decision? Do you think that there is any difference as to marry at a young age or a later age? Do share your views, I would really appreciate it thank you;)
25 people like this
84 responses
@Munchkin547 (2778)
1 Sep 08
I think there's benefits of both! If you get married and have your children when you are young you are still going to be young enough to enjoy life after they have grown up, but if you leave it later to get married and start a family then you have more opporunity to experience life before you settle down! My parents got engaged at 18 and married at 20 and are still happily married at 50! They're like lovesick teenager,s it's lovely but a bit sickly too! hehe I don't think we can really always really choose when we get married though, as we have no control over when we will meet the right person! I don't want to leave it too late to get married but i don't want to rush into it just because i want to get married, so it'll depend on when the right man comes along as to how old i will be when i get married!! happy mylotting xxx
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
6 Sep 08
I'm sure you'll be just as great as your parents are. I have no qualms about that. And I'm sure you will meet your Mr Right soon. You are a nice girl, judging by your posts. I'm sure any guy would just swoon over you. Have a cheery day.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
6 Sep 08
WOW!! You have such lovely parents and I think this is one of my best-listed awe-inspiring love stories of all time. So are you planning to settle down early then. **toodles**
2 people like this
6 Sep 08
My parents are ace! it's pretty inspiring really! I'd like to be have children before i am thirty in an ideal world so i guess i haven't got that much time to be meeting a man, as i don't want to have children unless i am married!! I wouldn't settle down for the sake of it though, i will wait as long as it takes for me to meet mister right! xxx
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
2 Oct 08
I married in my late twenties and for me that was way too late. I was a wild girl, well for a year or so, and also in my twenties for less than a year, and because of that I got vd (well it was the first time in my late teens when I got pregnant and the father gave me vd at the same time) but did not really know I had it until I got married. Had I gotten married sooner, I would have had the test, got the treatment and there would have been a better chance for me to get pregnant. So for health reasons, it is best to marry young. If you really just want companionship and do not care if you have children, then marrying late is all right. (I am not counting adoption, but I know you choices to adopt are limited when you are older.)
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
11 Oct 08
Thank you my friend for sharing your story, although it is a very much personalized part of your life. I respect that, and I gain some good tips from there. If one marries young, the chances of having more children is also great. But for stability wise, would be the main challenge. And for matured singles, they have troubles getting children at the later part. Not all but some will face this kind of problem. Thanks for your input and do take care yeah. Sorry for the late response.
@kiran1978 (4134)
• Australia
29 Mar 08
WEll I would prefer to have been married by now but I am not, I am in a relationship however and I am 29 years old. So I guess I will be marrying late. Depends what age you call young, I think getting married 21 years and younger is too young to be married, you just left highschool, you should experience life more before you settle down. However I guess if you have a great connection to someone and you know they are the one then any age over 18 years would be okay to marry. Yes I do think there is a difference if you marry young, you are more likely to have kids younger and have more responsibilities, which I personally don't mind as I am a family person. However if you marry later, late 20s early 30s then you are most likely to experience more life and travel. But then you will also be having kids later in life too. Overall I think it depends on the couple and what they want in life, whether they are ready to settle down and commit themselves to one another for life.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
31 Mar 08
Thanks kiran, I think you have given a very good answer ;)
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Aug 08
if she did not have the support of her father wher - Picture mid-40s Oprah with long hair and a white collared shirt with v neck, and just the right lipstick (plum)
Statistically I read that you are better off marrying at the age of 21 then you would just marrying two years younger than that and the numbers who do marry younger than, half of them will end in divorce as a compared to only a third ending in divorce if you were 21+. Me I am 26 and never been married but have lived WITH my boyfriend for 8 years (our anniversary was July 4th) and I see it as a very enlightening trial period because I found that time will only tell both partners true colors because it takes a lot of energy playing into a role and eventually you just want to be yourself, well when me and my bf were finally comfortable with doing that--I would say that didnt happen until a few years ago and even then it was very gradual--me and my boyfriend were still ok with what we saw, if I can put it metaphorically. I think when young couples marry and I do agree with the statistics, say the age of 17 years old, your still learning about yourself at that age and its so much pressure having to deal with hard real life issues (once your married, your locked in) and then dealing with another persons issues, especially if they have not fully matured themselves and I do not even know if that is biologically possible, I doubt it. I think marriage so young would do a lot of harm then good because in my opinion it would hamper your growth. But then that brings up another point. For me I hooked up with my boyfriend when I was just turning 20 years old (well in September, close enough) and my boyfriend at that time was 31 years old. We have been able to remain living together and have two kids together, now ages 2 (her b-day was Aug 23rd) and 3 1/2. Im still trying to analyze the situation and all I can say is that it has allowed a balance where all this was possible and so far its working. I do think it has hampered a level of my growth because of course when you have kids so young you do take a setback and I was not able to finish school or experience College life as those around me and only just went back to school a year ago. Having kids and being married young (like age 17) is risky because what if you do not have the support of your family and did not finish school then you have put yourself had a real high risk of getting stuck in poverty, thankfully theres many opportunities to higher your education but with kids its VERY tough--support is going to be the number one factor whether or not you get through it.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
1 Sep 08
Well said, revellanotvanella. If I could have given another BR, it would go to yours. I read everything you typed out and the pressures of dealing with the hard real issues of life is the key word here. I think not everyone (be it married or not) could shoulder responsibilities at one large chunk, and to do it little by little and with the help and support of their loves ones, will pull through. Life is about networking of humans partly and I believe that especially in a real life couple; be it a married couple or none. In my best opinion, marriage makes the bond real tight and seeming more real, but in general, it really depends on the individuals. I love the word support there. Thanks again for your answer.
1 person likes this
7 Apr 08
I Think marriage at a young age is better because it helps you to turn mature faster , understand responsiblities and you start a new journey of life faster , Because sooner or later one has to get married so as they say...what you have to do tomo , start today and what you have to do today lets do it now..so Zed get married fast man ..hahahhahahha Kidding this is how i feel No offence to any one please.
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
8 Apr 08
LOL..no probs..I don't take offense at all .. I am "outsourcing" for the best woman to be my wife someday, but not in the so near future since I want to earn more $$$ to make her live more comfortably .. Thanks for posting, truly appreciate it ;)
@m_sm1982 (31)
• Philippines
30 Aug 08
There's no such thing as marrying age. It depends on how well prepared you are to raise your own family. Marriage might be good at start but you will be tested by time. You might encounter problems you never thought would come. So, marry only with the right time and the right feeling.
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
31 Aug 08
I guess you are right, m_sm. Thanks for your reply. c;)
8 May 08
I think age does not really come into when you get married, i think it depends if you meet the right person and you feel it's right to want to spend the rest of your life with that person. I'm in my late 30's and i don't think i will get married unless a miracle happens, i've learned though you can still have a good life even if you don't meet the right person. My neighbour has never married she has so many friends all over the world she does not have time for a man. I know when i was growing up i wanted to be married by the time i was 21 the usual kind of thing, it's come close a couple of times, but when it actually comes to planning your life with that person, i usually get second thoughts about it. But the guys i've been with have never really put up a fight when i've ended it. Quite annoying really, just proves my instinct was right. Are you planning on getting married?
8 May 08
I'm not saying i would not get married, i suppose i've just never met the right many before. I'm adopted myself so for some people like me it's handy if there are people out there that can't have children. Who's to say the person you meet and fall in love with can have children, adoption is not that easy now, it is for the rich and famous but for people like you and me it's really hard, some friends of mine have finally managed to adopt but took nearly two years of checks etc to see if they were suitable. I was seeing a guy recently and he was really nice and he started talking about us getting married etc. it seemed like a good idea at the time, but i soon realised he was a little possesive and would not let me have my space as well and that to me is important, i do alot of craft work which does bring me some money in, he did not even like me spending time doing that. I hope you do find the right person, i'm still looking but if i do want to have children i best hurry up and find my mr right, trouble is i'm too fussy.
1 person likes this
8 May 08
i want marriage to be forever, that's why it needs to be right, i'm not getting married to get a divorce a couple of years later.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
8 May 08
Hello aquajules, I respect your opinions on this. Marriage is not really a burden and it shouldn't be. So there's no need to get married yet if the person him or herself is not ready to embark on this life journey. Yes, totally, I agree that one could have an enrich life being single and non-married as much as a married couple does. The only difference is that when one gets married, they will have children and add on to their new generation. But Hollywood artistes are seemingly giving singles solution and I see lots of singers and actors adopting even though they aren't married. My theory is this: There's a solution to any kinds of problems, it's just a matter of time. It's great that you want to remain single for as long as you could, but I won't bark off your theory should you change your priorities someday about it should you meet the right guy who wants to marry you and you are ready with this mindset. Therefore, to answer your question, my friend, I am not planning on getting married. But I won't say no to it in future should it happens. I think life is fragile and tangible, and so do relationships. People could change in just the whim of an eye. My best theory is it's good not to hope, but not to despair. Have a good day there. :)-
@Jemina (5770)
23 Apr 08
I'm 33 and I'm not married yet. Well, about to this year. But I don't regret reaching this age before decided to get married. I had so much fun staying single and I am very glad I enjoyed my single-blessedness for a long time before tying the knot.
1 person likes this
@Jemina (5770)
23 Apr 08
Thank you so much. I do hope my marriage will be a blissful one. Well, I don't expect for a perfect marriage. There isn't one. I just hope and pray that God will be in the center of our relationship and guide us all the way through.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
24 Apr 08
I wish you all the best, sweetie ...
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
23 Apr 08
I wish an advance congratulations to you then. 33 is a perfect age, I think. ..good luck to you, sweetie.
1 person likes this
@Zelmarq (12585)
• Cebu City, Philippines
10 Oct 08
It really does not matter to me on what age to marry, but when both are ready emotionally physically and financially. Its something that couple should be ready for.
1 person likes this
@Zelmarq (12585)
• Cebu City, Philippines
11 Oct 08
IN doing ok now Thank you. God bless...
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
11 Oct 08
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
11 Oct 08
How have you been, my friend. I agree with you that emotionally and financially one needs to be prepared.
1 person likes this
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
i think age doesn't matter, but of course, the couples must be matured enough to be face the responsibilities of marriage. marriage is not easy.. well, i am not married yet,i haven't really experience marriage first hand, but i know a lot of people and i have a few friends who are already married and some of them are having a hard time adjusting to the married life. i believe it all boils down to being ready emotionally, psychologically.
@austere (2812)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
well thank you.. but i dont think i am matured enough to get into something that big.. maybe in a couple of years time...and your are definitely right.. i wasnt able to mention the financial part.. but that surely plays a big role in marriage and in the relationship.. there are a lot of marriages that ends in break up because of financial problems.. well, i don't mean you have to be very rich, but at least smart enough to deal with the finances.. and know how not to make money a problem..
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
7 Sep 08
I agree with you, austere. It is an interlink kind of situation. Without money, sometimes love doesn't work and too much money is bad too. I guess just being in the middle is nice. Have some money, and some love, ha!! Have a cheery day.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
6 Sep 08
You are mature for your age, I could guess as much. And I think you are absolutely right. No point getting married if one is not prepared mentally, financially and physically.
@applefreak (3130)
• Singapore
2 Oct 08
i'm for marrying young or old. this sounds a little confusing so allow me to go further. i believe that a person, if intending to get married, should do it either right after school or much later. doing it right after school is so that the couple can settle down quickly, have a child or two and concentrate on building a career. if not, then marry much later when a career has been built and you are ready for the finer things in life. the worse would be to get married after working for two to five years. career is just beginning and not much time can be devoted to building the relationship or a family. cheers ;p
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
10 Oct 08
I'm sorry for replying late, my friend. I think you have given such a good insight and I do believe that it's good not to rush into a marriage. Lots of my friends have failed marriages and I think rushing to get married is one of the major factors of all.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
10 Oct 08
I'm sorry for replying late, my friend. I think you have given such a good insight and I do believe that it's good not to rush into a marriage. Lots of my friends have failed marriages and I think rushing to get married is one of the major factors of all.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
10 Oct 08
OOps, I'm so sorry for the double response, it is not on purpose..
1 person likes this
@whiteheron (4222)
• United States
3 May 08
I am 47 and I am still unmarried. I was engaged to get married twice but broke it off because it would not have been good to marry then as we were not compatable. I hope to marry someone in the future. I have one uncle who married in his 70s so I know that there is still hope for me. I think that it is best to marry after about the age of 25 as there are brain changes that occur prior to that and which would perhaps make the couple have less of a chance of maintaining their marriage. It is important for a couple to make sure that they are compatible and I would recommend premarital counseling... I wish now that I had done that when I was younger.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
6 May 08
Hello whiteheron. I do really think that you still stands a chance and I pray that you will meet someone that matches you from the heart. Thanks for sharing your story, though it's bittersweet to read.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
7 May 08
You are certainly welcome. Every story has a beginning and an ending and I hope yours will end in a good and happy way.
• United States
7 May 08
Thanks for your kindness in replying... As my story is just beginning I know it will be, at worst, like tasty bittersweet chocolate... my favorite kind... grins... had to put a little humor here as it isn't so bad.
1 person likes this
@Elixiress (3878)
5 May 09
I do not see why everyone has to get married, I hate how long term partners have no rights compared to a married couple. You can be with someone for 20 years unmarried, but if you are married for 2 weeks you instantly have more rights. I do not think that there is a certain age when you should or shouldn't, but I would say that waiting until you are older is better, because I am 18 and could not be imagine getting married any time soon.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
5 May 09
I agree totally.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
5 May 09
Hi there Elixiress, its been awhile since I last saw you in mylot. Hope you are doing fine and alright. I think you are right; it's best to wait for a certain mature age and decide on the commitment journey. They say single life is one of the most fun ever and I believe it to be so. But when one is single, they would always want a life of attachment. And when some are attached, they want to be single again. That kinds of confused but at the same time I suppose that is roughly how life is. Thanks for your time.
@Elixiress (3878)
5 May 09
Yeah people always want what they can't have.
1 person likes this
@phoenix25 (1541)
• United States
8 May 08
I always wanted to get married young, but I'm kind of old-fashioned in that respect. I might have waited, but I just happened to meet the man that I wanted to marry at a young age. I am glad I did. I also had my son pretty young when I was 21 and now I will be able to enjoy my 40's after he moves out and goes to college. My husband (who is 6.5 years older than me) agreed with me and told me that he didn't want to have kids in the house when he was 60.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
8 May 08
I think you have had a very sound plan there, though the part which you married young was a bit unexpected for you. I'm glad to know that your son is already going to college soon and you can enjoy a blissful time with your husband. May all happy moments remain with you always. Take care and have a nice day there, sweetie.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
8 May 08
Ooops, sorry for the typo there. He's your only son, am I right? It sure would be lonely someday when he's gone to college, I do agree..
@phoenix25 (1541)
• United States
8 May 08
lol... My son is only 4 years old. I don't think he'll be going to college quiet yet. What I meant was that because I had him young, he will graduate high school when I am about 40, so I won't have a child in the house during my 40's.
1 person likes this
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
28 Mar 08
No I don't think there is such a age group for being married... However being over 18 should be.. I think people who do marry young marry for the wrong reasons, Just to have someone.. Than again marring being older as well can be the same way.. I think too that people marry because they don't want to lose the person in there life and they do care and love them, but sometimes that just fades away.. So all and all I think if they are happy and want this in life I think they should go for it! just my oppion!!
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
29 Mar 08
Hello there sweetie, I think you are absolutely right on your opinion and I think to summarize what you said is perhaps am I right to say, "to go along with your gut feelings"? Thanks for your wonderful insight on this topic, I really have a diverse and various opinions now that I could use as a guideline for myself ..
• United States
29 Mar 08
Hi Zed yes that is exactly what i was trying to say... I tend to take the long way around things but yes...Best wishes to you!
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
29 Mar 08
Thanks again, sweetie .. you have a great day yourself ;)
• China
15 Apr 08
i don't think marriage is restricted by the age. Marriage stands for a duty to the new family and the mature of a person.If you are capable to support a family so please marriage. Now i have got marriage at my age of 23 years old.Some one says that I got marriage too early.I don't think so for my husband and I have lived together for about 2 years before our marriage.we know each other and know what we should do.So when we got marriage it is nature. Nowerdays people are intended to get marriage later both in the city and the cottage.Although in the countryside people still married earlier than in the city.I think the reason is coming from the social pressure. It is hard for a person to support the new family. If you have these ability married earlier is not a bad thing.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
15 Apr 08
Hello jeaniezheng, nice name you have there. First of all, thanks for responding to my discussion and a very good day to you. Congratulations on your marriage, I think that you are destined to marry young and that is something that I believe so much in life for. I think that you are absolutely right; it takes 2 to clap especially in a thing such as marriage and it is the mentality and the ability that counts. Happy posting to you and have a nice day there...;)
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
16 Apr 08
Good day to you too...;)
• China
15 Apr 08
Glad to know you.thanks for your reply.May you a good day.
1 person likes this
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
29 Mar 08
In my opinion, marrying not to young or to old is the perfect one. When marrying to young, there is possibility of lack of maturity. Sometimes, both have dropped school or don't have a job will have financial problems which could result as a failure. On the other hand, it is dificult for old women to find a spouse. Some women realize that they want to have children at the age of 35 but they have no clue where to start. Having a baby at the age of 35-40 could be dangerous for the mother since she might be weaker compared to young women and there are more chances for the baby to have the down syndrome. But if she is just looking for someone to spend some time with, there shouldn't be a problem. I would say marrying between 23-30 is the perfect timing.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
29 Mar 08
Hello ladysakurax, thank you so much for your wonderful rendition of this topic. I learned something new from what you've mentioned that there is also the issue of "biological clock ticking" for women. Therefore, that should be considered as a factor as well. If marrying too late, then it will be hard for a woman to give birth. Am I right to say that? I'm none too sure about women and pregnancy. So, I agree with you totally, that 23-30 is perhaps the best timing after all, should one decides to get married
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
31 Mar 08
Thank you so much again ladysakurax for your great reply ;)
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Mar 08
Yes. Older women will have more difficulties giving birth compared to younger ones. The pms should stop around 40-45 so it's better to get pregnant before. My mom was 30-35 and she couldn't give birth to me so she got an operation to get me out. There is no age to get married like mentionned above. But if you want to start a family and raise children, it is better for the woman to not wait till 35. I am still youn...22 years old. i am planing on getting married after i finish my studies. ^^ have a good day and thx for the reply
2 people like this
• United States
7 Apr 08
hi, how are you?? Well there is a time for everything, I got married when I was 18 years old and no I wasn't pregnant.. at the begining it was really hard because out of the blue I saw myself working to pay the rent and not to buy me cloth, but then as the time was passing everything started to get a lot better and I'm really happy now I have been married for 2 years now and I have no regreets, and now we are planning on having our first baby ;) maybe in about a month or two. We are really excited but at the same time we don't want to rush things...
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
8 Apr 08
Hello there sweetie, I'm fine, thank you very much for asking. First of all, I would like to congratulate on your life being awesomely rewarding for you so far. It's always good to know that there are happy marriages out there and that you are going for happiness further by trying for a child. I really hope that your dreams and wishes come true for your family and hopefully, you will stay married for a very long time, and to be exact, for eternity and beyond, LOL .. So, your story proves that it's possible to marry at a young age and also being happy at the same time...thanks for responding, have a nice day ;)
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
15 Apr 08
Awwww, that's so nice of you, I don't deserve that, but thanks anyway.
• United States
10 Apr 08
Thank you so much, for everything, I hope one day you can find your true love and be really happy, I know it won't be hard because you are really sweet.
1 person likes this
• China
10 Apr 08
i hope i can marry next year, haha because if i marry too late, my parents will push me
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
10 Apr 08
LOL, I hope your dream(s) come true for you and all the best to your future marriage. ;) .. you have a partner in mind already, I see??
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
10 Apr 08
I wish you a very good luck in your quest...do update us all about the progress okay ;) ..
• China
10 Apr 08
haha, i just know a guy who loves me much, i think i need to know more about him and then decide.
1 person likes this
• China
8 Apr 08
I prefer to marry later.My temporary marry age is 30,and i am a girl.It is very serrious for all of us,i think it's just ok when both tow are mature enough.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
8 Apr 08
I prefer to marry late as well, but not too late that all the good girls are gone for me, LOL...but I think the age you stated which is 30 is pretty cool. I would like to get married around that age or more as well, but as long as the lady's cool to get married with me, I'm cool. And oh yes, we have to get along extremely well. Yes, I agree totally, maturity is the key. Thanks for responding and have a nice day ahead of you ;)
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
9 Apr 08
you too, ;)
• China
9 Apr 08
Glad to hear you think so.Hope we nice days both:)
1 person likes this