Foster Parenting
By jennawash
@jennawash (161)
United States
March 27, 2008 10:37pm CST
My husband and I are foster parents. We have our first foster child and she came to us at 3 months old and is now just shy of a year. She will be leaving us soon to be adopted by a family member who has never met her and lives out of state. Her case manager says it is not required to "transition" her or even have them meet her once before she leaves her home. Are there any suggestions that perhaps another foster parent could give that would help with this? My concerns seem to fall on deaf ears. It is inevitable that she is leaving and I just want to make the transition as smooth as possible.
2 responses
@hopeful327 (189)
• United States
28 Mar 08
First of all, KUDOS to you for being a foster parent! I wish there were more people like you!!! :)
The fact that you are asking this question shows what a loving and nurturing parent you are.
I'm shocked that there isn't any type of transitioning, uggh, it makes me sad. :( I guess here are some things that you can do:
1. If you have pictures of the adoptive parent(s) - which you probably don't but just in case - hang them in the child's room, and point to them several times a day saying something like "This is Aunt Sally, she loves you very much." Tell her that she will take care of her, even though she doesn't really understand, you might try that. If you don't have pics, ask the caseworker, actually the best thing would be videos really.
2. Call a psychologist/counselor/minister for advice.
3. Prepare a photo album / life book /baby book /scrapbook for her to take with her to her new home. Include pictures and milestones such as when she first rolled over, etc. if you have that info.
4. Be sure she can take a teddy bear, doll, favorite blanket, etc. with her. Hopefully that will be allowed!
3. I would highly suggest making a recommendation, or really a complaint, to the ombudsman/supervisor for CPS about this. It just seems so unhealthy! There needs to be a transition period!!!!!!!!!!
This makes me really sad, actually. :( I don't know if this helped any, I hope she does okay....
@chazsgirl (256)
• United States
28 Mar 08
well I am not a foster parent but I can say that maybe you can try to sit down with her and tell her what is going on. alot of people may laugh at this but babies know what you are saying to them. if you have a picture that would be good. The transition won't be as you want it to be because there is only so much she understands but all you can do is love her and teach her about her new "parents" and just let her know she is loved and it doesn't matter by who! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS TO YOU! Let us know how it goes!
