Friend dating married man or woman

United States
March 28, 2008 12:33am CST
If a close friend of yours confided in you that he or she was dating someone who was married; what would your advice or reaction to it be? Would you withold judgement and/or advise? Would you think less of them?
2 people like this
6 responses
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
28 Mar 08
It's pure madness, isn't it? I don't know anyone who has knowingly done this. (A friend did go out on a few dates with a guy who claimed he was "separated, waiting on the divorce decree to arrive" but dumped him when she learned it was more like "kinda separated, but still sleeping with my wife.") However, growing up, my high school boyfriend's mother was one of these woman - perpetually disappointed and bitter, and I could tell even then, neglecting her kids to keep these doomed relationships going. With that horrible example, I can't imagine ever doing that to myself, my kids or supporting a friend who chose to do the same thing. It's just too much of a mess. Real life is messy, and it's one thing to realize that you're romantically attracted to someone new when you're DATING someone else. But once you're married? No way. There's just too much at stake.
• United States
28 Mar 08
I agree. It is sad.
2 people like this
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
28 Mar 08
I just wanna say, why don't these people understand the simple fact that they are spoiling many lives just because of their lust.
1 person likes this
@johndur (3049)
• Pasig, Philippines
2 Apr 08
i think i would just give my friendly advice to my friend saying how can you love a married man?do you think he is serious with you is he willing to leave his wife and kids for you?do you want it to happen to you also in the future if you man found a new love?you see,its easy to judge someone regarding this but we all know how love conquers our mind and the way we think when we are in love but still we have to give some comment and advice to our friends and tell them what we think of it...since they are our friend and we should protect them also as we protect our family...
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 08
I would not Judge advice or think any less of them You can not tell your Heart who to love and who not to If I thought that it was just for s*x then I would advice and tell them that it is up to them and that I will always be here for them if I am needed
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
28 Mar 08
no I wouldn't judge her, but I would ask her why she was doing it and if she thought he would leave his wife for her, most men don't.
• India
28 Mar 08
I would ask him or her to call it off. After all why should one support spouse snatcher? Even if it is my best friend I would not support such kind of action because it destroys people's lives. There would be lot of other good people around... he or she just have to wait for some more time.
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
28 Mar 08
Hello there lola, I have lots of friends at work and also childhood friends whom have been involved in different affairs each time; be it men or women. Though I don't agree with this kind of etiquette, but I sincerely do not prefer to be judging them actually. I much prefer to be on the discreet side and only giving out opinions when they truly asked. I think that's due to me learning a very good lesson before. I did spend 100% of my time dedicating to advising this particular guy friend of mine from my previous job and I ended up getting blamed being the "bad guy" in the picture. That's because his relationship in the end went "kaput" and he blamed me for giving "excessive advices". I think that's not fair on my part, but I just took the blame. But I've really learned a lesson from there. So, to answer your question specifically, I would not think less of them, and would not judge them. But if they do ask me for an honest opinion, I would give it to their face. Most of my friends know this trait of mine, and they tend not to over react and know when to ask, because they do not want to hear the honest answers from me, LOL. Have a good day ;)