why my boyfriend is so awful?
By violetroom
@violetroom (79)
China
March 28, 2008 1:30am CST
Letter:
Violet:
I have a boyfriend, we just met serveral months, i didn't know much about him when i fell in love with him. But one thing happened changed my mind. He is a army offer. But he did not receive any training in the army, because he was recommended into the army after graduation from college, so he is so weak and timid than his comrades in the army always makes jokes on him. One day, he had an argument with his header, his header slapped him in the face. After he told me this, i feel so awful about him. I asked him why he hasn't slapped him in return. It was an argument, does not mean it was your mistake. But he kept silent, i feel unbelievable he is so afraid of his header. I feel i can not bear to get along with such a boyfriend. When i think he can not protect me if i am attacked by bad men. How sad I am! I want to break up with him. LinLin
My reply:
LinLin:
I understand your feeling. But love a person is nothing wrong with his ablity. We love this person, we should accept his weakness, and help him overcome them. But it doesn't mean every girl has to accept her lover's weakness. If you hate to do this, you can choose leave him, becasue your bad feeling for him will affect your relationship, til some day you feel regret to be with him. If so, it is better to leave him early. But before you leave, you must think it over if this man somedays becomes brave with another's gril's help, you don't regret,don't feel sad. If you can pass it through,ok, break up.
1 response
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
28 Mar 08
I think you should criticize your boyfriend for not retaliating back and certainly not used that as a basis to measure his ability to care and protect you. As he is undergoing training I do not think it is right for you to tell him what to do and especially about retaliating when you do not know what he is undergoing. Being a trainee, there are certain modules in the programme that requires full compliance and your boyfriend has already committed a mistake - arguing with his superiors and that itself is an act of insubordination. It is a chargeable offence and during war he may be court martial. In peace time, he may face charges like detention or sent to detention barracks in severe cases.
I felt that as a girlfriend you should be an understanding and supportive individual, what goes on with your boyfriend's army stint and/or work problems can only be treated with a listening ear and encouraging him to persever. And I find the reply advice for you to leave him is equally atrocious. I really hope that you relearn yourself on your perception of love in a relationship. You are really too linear in your thinking where your assumption of a loving man being strong, handsome, loud spoken and exuding manly qualities. I think you should understand that love is more of an in thing rather than the external. So I hope you would re-examine your perception about him before you cause yourself more hurt and misery, for you will not be happy with another man too if you continue thinking this way.
