My friend of many years does not believe me when I tell him things?
By asawako48162
@asawako48162 (3321)
United States
April 1, 2008 5:58am CST
We are both retired and I told him a long time ago that since we are on a two year "bridge that in Nov/December we should be getting our paper work ready and mail into the company for them to review and it will be all ready for May First which will be our first day of retirement.
But now he calls me all upset that the company told him he as a month to get this done and I reminded him that I told him and his wife last Nov/Dec of the deadline and to start working on this project. He acted like I did not matter and he was going to do it his way. This is not the first time he always seems to second quess when I do someting. I will tell him how I handled someting and he always has to question my methods and wonder if I could have done it better then I seem to have to justify why I did it this way..
Some of my fellow co-workers have a monthly meeting to discuss what is happening to our plant that it is closing and most of us are on full retirement, medical or the "bridege" and wating for full retirement.. I keep telling him to come to the breakfast meetings as this would answer a lot of his questions but it seems he always has beeter things to do..or he is just not interested until something comes up..well, talked enough..my wife told me just to ignore this guy as he is a trouble maker and does not trust anyone..he should just learn to do things on his own..what would you advice a person who is so hard to explain things too?1 person likes this
15 responses
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
1 Apr 08
sometimes people change and not always for the good..thanks ...peace
@marketing07 (6266)
• South Korea
1 Apr 08
for me once if i told him first..then if he doesnt believe me..the next thing i wont bother to help..i will leave him alone..your wife is right leave him,,since he doesnt believe you..i think he has a great idea for this..goodluck@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Thanks for the advice..sometimes you do your best and just have to cut people lose..after all..i am not his parents but my kids did not listen much to me either..lol..thanks..have a nice day..
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
1 Apr 08
I find that there are just people who cant seem to accept that they are wrong or that other people may be right or are doing things in a much better. Though its not a competition, but have the tendency to view it as one. Hummmppp!!! Maybe its a matter of ego or pride for them. One thing for sure, being older doesn't necessary mean that one is wiser as what your friend has proven.
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Hello, neighbor..my wife is from Bacolod City,,city of smiles and we just bought a home in sumat..but I live in the US until we can sell this house..in Monroe, Mi
USA but she has just got back from 45 days in the Philippines..
my friend tom,married a Thai girl and he is always confused as i think he would have been doing better with a pinoy?lol..my wife is a lot more knowledgeable about a lot of stuff in life..and she and I trust each other but some people have no common sense..it takes too people to work together and some people who never marry until late in life find a lot of trouble trusting anyone..even their asawa...
without faith..there is nothing..my wife told me Tom is just Tom and he will never change..but that is OK..i guess..Tom and his Thai wife don't share like my wife and I do...so you can see the differenene as he keeps her out in the dark..while I tell my wife everything..as you never know what tomorrow will bring..but we work as a team...and that is what I like about the Philippine women they have a good sense of business and can manage a home and money ...but only if they don't play too much mah jong..lol..j/k..have a nice day pinoy1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
1 Apr 08
yes, I agree..my wife told me Tom is just a doubting Thomas and will never change..i think some people just want to whine and complain and when they screw up then they just won't take the blame ...but thanks for the advice...
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
1 Apr 08
Is it not frustrating when people do not believe you!! Why people who know us never believe us when we tell them the truth is beyond me. I always get this with my eldest son, he never believes anything I tell him, but as I say to him what on earth would I gain from lying to you! I would just say to your friend that what you have told him is the truth as you know it, and if he choses not to believe what you say after all these years then fine, find out for yourself, I simply would give up and not bother with anyone who is to hard to explain things too, if I had tried a couple of times and they would not listen, then I would just leave it. Anyway enjoy your retirement!!
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Thanks ..sadly i did not listen to some of the stuff my folks told me..but you sin at haste and repent at leisure..but this guy has parents that were very good at working all there lives and now they are getting real old and I think he should be giving them calm advice and not blow up at them when they won't listen to some of his advice..as they are his seniors and sometimes it is not that they are smarter but they have been used to making up their own minds..like putting tires on a truck..that is worth more then the truck is worth..that is up to his dad to spend the money..or keeping a camper that he thinks his dad should sell? why..its his dads and not his..
but when you advice tom about retirement he shrinks awasy and does not want to listen..maybe cause he is 48 and I am63 and am more settleed in my life..i lost my parents a long time ago and a brother and i have a little more experience..but he will have to learn..the hard way?
@renaud_tan (416)
• Philippines
1 Apr 08
well, first of all, why don't you tell him how you feel about his attitude towards you and others.. "hehehe, madami tlgang ganyan na pinoy, joke.. :P"
just tell him that his attitude is like that and would like let him know that sometimes you just don't like the way he's treating you.. ^_^
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
1 Apr 08
oy vey, o o or hindi? well i tell him he is a selfish self centered man who is too much a control freak..he only can be happy if he is in constant aggravation..lol..i tell him ..you are already retired and an older man..relax..what is the problem? enjoy yourself..its later then you think?
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
3 Apr 08
I would agree with your wife, he has a hard head and doesn't listen, so why bother hitting your head against the wall trying to make him listen,
let him learn the hard way, sometimes that is the only thing you can do with some people
@smacksman (6053)
•
1 Apr 08
You have done your best, the rest is up to him.
The world is full of people like him. All talk and no action.
I am on several committees and you see it all the time. In any community there are 'talkers' and 'do-ers' and no matter the subject it always seems to work out to a ratio of 50 talkers to 1 do-er. haha
Enjoy your retirement. If it is anything like me you will never have been so busy!!
1 person likes this
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
1 Apr 08
yes, it seems like i get up earlier then even with a smile on my face and never seem to slow donw to dinner time..then i read or watch video or if my wife lets me go on the computer...its one thing after another...makes me wonder how I did all this stuff before I retired!...but its been two years and already I am looking forward to doing a lot of travel and getting back into better shape through diet and exercise..gool luck/
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
1 Apr 08
he is a cynic and don't trust anyone..not even his family wife or friends..he is just a lone stone who gathers no boss..lol.. thanks baby in picutre..i trust you adivice
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
1 Apr 08
my wife told me just to ignore this guy as he is a trouble maker and does not trust anyone..he should just learn to do things on his own.
Your wife is right... and you should follow her advice.
You cannot help people who don't want to listen.
@clowdine (1402)
• Philippines
1 Apr 08
Well, once in a while, I meet people who are like that. Once I figure they fall under that category, I say to myself, "Girl, having nothing to do with that fellow."
I guess, you have to stop advising him about anything. He is not listening anyway and it will just make you a little depressed because of the feeling of not being trusted. Do things your way and let him do things his way and if he blows it, and you succeeded, at least you demonstrated how to do things in a better way. But if he approaches you to ask help, it's your opportunity to give him a hand.
Sometimes, there are people who are just too proud and they get annoyed when others seem to know more.
@nataliemurie (96)
•
1 Apr 08
I think you have tried enough to help him. If he's not listening then let it go. He will soon regret not listening to you. Let him make his own mistakes.
I get really frustrated with people who are hard to explain things to & I end up giving up cos they make me uptight.
@asawako48162 (3321)
• United States
1 Apr 08
This guy is married and i believe the only reason he is married is because I told hime to take a chance and travel and meet people..so he met a girl from Thailand and they "seem" happy but he don't let her do anything..and he does not eat her cooking as she does not good nothing but Thai food..but he cooks his own meals or eats out..but he seems ok..but not realy ever really happy..he was married five days beofre 911...lol
but wife of 22 years I married in Tokyo, Japan and we traveled all over the US and some in Europe and Holland and into Canada and Mexico and also Japan and Philippines but we want to travel to more places...we have two homes..one here in Michigan..and one in Philippines where we can go and visit...
but it seems Tom is always sort of jealous guy and when I buy a car or truck I just send my wife to see what she likes as I have the A- Plan at Fords after working for22 years for them and she picks out what she likes and I like her taste..same as her cooking as she has worked in and managed restaurants so she cooks like an angel..but i leave this to her..and she takes care of most of the investments as its all in bank funds or property or bonds, and CD/s..but Tom is never trusting his wife to handle these financial areas..
I told Tom he must let his wife Drive a car more, and know about insurance, money and investing and land, lawyers, wills,,as what if something happens to him and she is lost in the US withoug knowledge of how to survive..You would be surprised at the attitude these men have when it comes to trusting another person..and I have been married twice before..but in marriage..you either trust or you have no marriage...just a business agreement...i think that is why he is so confused all the time and don't trust anyone...He told me once he don't believe any thing he read or see..??how sad..
@rockcombatchick (3)
• United States
1 Apr 08
You have done your best to try to help the guy. He obviously doesn't listen to anyone, and does his own thing. Someone like that will always blame someone else for their troubles, and even though you tried to warn him and help him, he'll find a way to blame you for it. You can continue to try to give him advice on things, but it sounds like you are pretty much beating your head up against a wall. If this guy isn't a close friend of yours, I would stop trying to help him and keep it strictly to business with him.
