Help with a Sister

United States
April 2, 2008 3:25am CST
To anyone that is out there that can possibly help me with this situation, I have a sister that I really dont claim as my Sister due to things that she has done to me and my family, She is not a nice person in the least little bit, she is a manipulator, a liar, a theif, and just NOT a good person in the least little bit. My delima is years ago she accused one of my children of doing something really bad, the police were called in and everything, it came out that my child did nothing at all. The police investigator himslef told us that he new with out a doubt that my child was not quilty of what she had said. Due to her telling the police that she made this whole thing up. I have tried real hard to forgive and forget, the only thing is when there is any type of Family gathering we are not invited at all, Due to she does not want us around, My child that this stuff was said about even though he is now a adult has a very hard time with all of this. I dont know what I should do. I dont know if I should try to approach her again about the situation, or if I should just leave it alone. I have tried to do all that I can and I feel once you try if the other person does not respond then why should I keep trying. She is one of these people that you can not talk to due to no matter what the situation she is always right, accoriding to her she has never done anything wrong in her life, which is not true, She is just a mean nasty and hatful person, so should I try ot should I just write it all off and not bother with her any more and tell my kids they do not ever have to talk to her even if there is a family function and we are invited, they should just ignor her and stay away, I would really like some advice on this, I am TIRED of being the one that always takes the 1st step to make things better, I want someone else to take that 1st step every now and then. Any advie would be a great help.
1 person likes this
3 responses
jennifer611
@jennifer611 (2514)
• United States
18 Apr 08
If you've tried then I guess there's nothing really that you can do. if she knows your open to forgiving and accepting her back into your life then it's up to her to take the steps now. I had a really bad fall out with one of my sisters a few years back, it was really hard to go through and the family was dragged into it, some decided to stay in my life and some decided to go. I can't change their minds, they have to decide what their going to do. it was a painful, painful situation. but all I could do about it was pray. that's the only choice I had to try to fix anything. my mom tried talking to my sister, that didn't work. my grandmother wished she could change it, but she couldn't.. I felt very alone and depressed and just in a dark place. but I just kept asking God to fix it because it was totally out of my hands. today, things are surely now how they use to be, but their a lot better. I don't mind going to family functions anymore. I'll go without dreading them. and my sister and I actually talk now. she even calls me on the phone and will talk for hours at a time and has now started telling me she loves me before we hang up. ya know, I know u say you don't want to be the person to always take the first step, but I really applaud you for that because it takes the bigger person to take that step. and maybe she fears facing you. I know if I lied on someone and tried getting them in trouble (knowing it's a lie) I'd probably be afraid to face you too. but I hope things work out for you and your family. it's hard to go through that stuff. but hopefully she can come to her senses and see that she has a sister out here that has a huge heart and is able and willing to forgive. Good Luck!
Patsie Hatley
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Apr 08
I have known women like that thatcan twist you up and spit you out .But feuds start like this over some petty thing that one family member did to another. However this lady sounds like really bad new.If you have doneall you could and she still manipulates everybody then I would really just stay away from herlike she had the plague.In a way she is sick, she carries the gerns of hate and malice with her. And since your cjhild is now grown up and still has a very hard time around your sister Iwould really just give up on her. if she wants to change her ways and make amends that is up to her. let her make the first step. otherwise I would keep far away from her just like a plague
cinderella2007
@cinderella2007 (2662)
•
2 Apr 08
Sounds to be that you are better off without her , I mean she falsely accused her child off doing something and you still want to talk her??? I know she is your sister but that is not what sisters are for!! When you are invited to a family gathering, go but try to avoid your sister. You could be civil and make small talk if shes interested, such as 'Hi, how r u, what have you been upto' etc but otherwise I'd stay clear. You dont need her to be causing trouble with your children, they should come first even if they are adults now they are your family. I know it sounds hard but why try to make things better if your sister isnt even bothered to discuss why she accused your child!! Does your family treat you both the same or do they side with one of you? I would focus on the people that are important to you!!