My 3 year old is MEAN!!!!

United States
April 2, 2008 5:14pm CST
Well, its hard to actually admit it, but my once really sweet, really good baby is now a mean 3 year old. Im really not sure what to do and some days i just feel crying. I never thought she'd be this way. It really started when her baby sister was born. They are 27 months apart. She loved her sister sooo much it seemed, and then once the baby became mobile, my 3 yr old totally changed towards her. I have to watch every move she makes around her sister. She will hit her, kick her, push her, hold her down. Right now she does this thing where she "knocks" on her head and she does it HARD. The other problem I am having with her is that she back talks really bad. She's constantly saying NO..or GO AWAY..when you say something she doesnt like. I find myself doing something that I never wanted to do : YELLING. Sometimes she will completely ignore what i say and the only way to get a response out of her is if i yell at her and i hate yelling. So here's a list of things that I have tried to use as discipline for the way she treats her sister and when she back talks--please dont tell me that what i have done is wrong because if you had a strong willed 3 year old, you'd try it too. What ive tried: -Spanking -Naughty chair -Corner -Taking toys away -Taking away tv (yes i let her watch some cartoons) -Put her to bed -Tried getting down on her level and talking with her *She doesnt seem to CARE if she's in trouble or not* I would appreciate suggestions! (not put downs!)
1 person likes this
2 responses
simplyshawn
@simplyshawn (650)
• United States
2 Apr 08
I highly recommend this book by Robert J MacKenzie, Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child. There is another one, but does mention strong-willed on the cover, I meant to get the strong-willed, but didn't. I've read half of it and it has helped me tremendously. This summer I'm really going to go through this book, take notes and commit to memory what I need to do to handle my boys. You can find it on amazon or any other book site I'm sure. Or go to your library and see if they have it or if they can get it. I can't wait to get back to reading mine. I put it away because I just can't read two books at the same time and take care of the house and kids. I wish you the best of luck. I know it's hard.
AmberN
@AmberNormandin (883)
• United States
3 Apr 08
great! thanks so much for your reply, i really appreciate it. Glad to know that im not alone. Ill definately try and find the book! Ive got a feeling my 16 month old is going to be the same way, so i definately can use all the help i can get. Thanks and good luck to you too!!
slickcut
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
4 Apr 08
It is perfectly normal behavior because she is jealous...At first she was fine because she was getting attention...Now since the baby is crawling around some she has to have more care and your 3 year old is jealous...Why don't you try telling your 3 year old that she needs to help you with the baby,like make her feel like its a team effort just you and her,watching the baby....Taking up for the baby,which you have to do because she is being mean,but when you have to take up for the baby she feels you are taking up for the baby...and it feeds that jealousey..Just let her know and i am sure you have tried but be sure and tell your 3 year old that you love her and want her help....Maybe this will help..She feels threatened that you will love the Baby more than her...Its enough to drive you nuts i know,if your 3 year old would have been older it would have not been such an effort but she is really still a baby too...she wants to be little again,so somehoe if you can think of a way to make her feel very special and important....