Something that I have realized...
By dolce_vita78
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
Philippines
April 3, 2008 2:24am CST
I have just realized that there are people whom I thought were true friends but they are actually NOT. For the past few months, I have been working on something that would ultimately change my future. While there are those who are really supportive, there are also those who obviously do not care. It's sad that there are people who are out of reach when you needed them the most.
For the past few months, I have been working on my application for a UK student visa. I have been blessed with a very supportive family. My dad and mom are very excited and happy for me that they have been doing everything they can to help me with my plans. They are there to support me financially and emotionally. Same thing is true with my cousins and other relatives. Some of my friends have also been very helpful. My boyfriend have been of great help too!
One of the things I have to work on is looking for a place to stay when I get to UK so that I do not have to spend for lodging or accommodation expenses. I have several friends who are based in the UK. I have cousins in Manchester and my bestfriend is in Leicester. Since these places are few hours away from Central London, I tried getting in touch with my friends who are in London to help me out on this aspect. When I was telling them about my plans, they were so excited (or so I thought...) about it. Time came when I had to finalize some papers particularly that on whether I have a place to stay or I would have to reserve a place in a dormitory and/or other places where I could rent. Since I really wanted to save on accommodation expenses, I tried to ask my so-called friends to help me out. I mean, if they could possibly let me stay with them at least for a week while I am looking for other options and work as well. Unfortunately, they do not answer my calls even if I leave messages in their answering machines. They do not reply to my SMS. They do not reply to my emails. I even sent them messages through Friendster but to no avail. Well, I wouldn't say that they have not received any of my messages since whenever I check the last time they logged-in, they just did in the past 24 hours or 2 days at the most. You see, I wouldn't hate them if they would tell me straight that they can't accommodate me or that they could not help me. I would prefer that rather than making me wait for NOTHING and leave me facing a blank wall.
I feel bad about it because I can't move on with the processing of my papers just because I am waiting for their responses. But then again, I realized that I have wasted enough time. Today, I will continue working on my papers even without their help. I have decided to reserve a space in the school's dorm and will stay there at least for a month until I am financially able to get a place of my own.
I hope that my decision is right..
1 person likes this
11 responses
@minnie_98214 (10557)
• United States
3 Apr 08
Sorry this is happening to you. It is sad that your friends would not respond to you. Id say give em a chance im sure there was a good reason. Its not nice but you can still be the better person. I mean a true friend is there no matter what....and mabey youre friend wasnt there when you needed them but thats doesnt mean you should abandon them not that you said you were.
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
4 Apr 08
I do hope that they have a good reason for not responding to my messages..
@bochco123 (594)
• United States
3 Apr 08
You made the right decision. Screw them. Like you said they apparently weren't really your friends in the first place. Don't let that ruin something as big as this. Nonetheless, I can't imagine how dissapointed and frustrated you must be. But you do have your supportive family/friends/boyfriend behind you. You'll be able to make it. I hope you have a great time.
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
4 Apr 08
Well, yeah, to be honest, I am really disappointed and frustrated. I am blessed to have other people around to help me get through this. Thank you my friend!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
4 Apr 08
you made the right decision and I'm sorry you had to find out that some friends were not really friends. That always hurts. As a friend, they should have at least been able to answer you honestly. You sound like a sweet person and you deserved a straight answer. I am guessing that they were for whatever reason, unable to accomodate you and felt bad telling you and so they ignored you which is really much more rude and hurtful. They probably did not mean to hurt you but still it was wrong. Good friends can be honest with each other.
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
4 Apr 08
I think I could live by a negative answer for as long as it is an honest one... Thanks my dear friend!
@Deea48 (1166)
• United States
4 Apr 08
I am so sorry that your friends treated you so poorly, that stinks. I wonder what they will say if you see them after you get there. It would of just been easier to say they couldn't do it instead of leaving you hang there. At any rate I am glad you decided to go forward regardless. Good luck to you and hope it turns into a wonderful adventure for you.
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
4 Apr 08
That was what I was thinking too... I mean, I would really love to know how they will react once they get to see me there one of these days... Thank you for your support!
@azahari33 (221)
• Malaysia
4 Apr 08
Hi! I know a lot about friends who are only there or you during the good times. I went through a very bad patch 6 years ago. First I lost my job through a because the comapany that I was working for could no longer afford my salary. I was compensated but because I had car repayments and mortgages to pay, I spent a lot on of my compensation on that. It wasn't long before the money ran out and soon after that, my marriage was in trouble. After a few months, my ex-wife and I decided to get divorced. So I had to find another place to stay. I called a lot of my so-called friends, but none of them were there for me. I spent 3 nights sleeping in my car. In the end my brother called, he had just found out that my wife and i were separated. He asked me where I was staying and when I told him, he asked me to stay at his place. He knew I couldn't afford to pay rent and he was happy to have me at his place. It still makes me sad whenever I think about it, but I decided to stop calling most of those so called friends anymore. I expect my friends to be there whenever I have problems becoz I'm always there for them when they have difficulties too.
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
5 Apr 08
I am sorry to hear about your experience. Anyway, I hope that you are okay now... Just like you, I expect my friends to be there when I have problems because I have always been there for them during their darkest days too. In my case, these so-called friends that I have been getting in touch with to help me with my request are the people who ran to me when they needed some help when they were still processing their papers for London... Sad huh?
@luckycat (220)
• Bolivia
4 Apr 08
my friends,I'm so sorry for what happened.But at least you have your family your freinds,your boyfrined.I know it's pretty sad.but just let go.Becasuse sometimes i feel the same way.Someone i though they were my friends and I tried to be nice to them,whatever they need i helped them.But when i need help,they were not stand by me.
But now i realized that it is no a big deal.Because there's someone here for me,like my parents.
So,my friend ,Just keep going.It' gonna be OK.GOOD LUCK!
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
4 Apr 08
I will really keep going... I need to prove to myself and other people that I am capable of realizing my goals. I appreciate your support.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
3 Apr 08
Everything that happen has a reason. so this made for you to know thats so called friends of yours better! Now that you know them, at least you can move on in your life! I really feel for you and whatever their reasons are for not answering you , still its not acceptable. In the first place, if they dont want you in their apartment for some reason they can tell you honestly in that case, you will know and at the same time you will understand!
@jhoana_joey (616)
• Philippines
3 Apr 08
You will really know who is a friend in deed in this situation. Friends will always be available in good times but real friends will always be available and won't say no if you need them and if they can't do anything to help atleast they will be honest enough to let you know.
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
4 Apr 08
I would really feel a little more comfortable knowing that they can't help rather than giving me false hopes.. Thank you for sharing...
• United States
4 Apr 08
When people do not respond to a request in a timely fashion you can suspect that the answer is NO. Some people have good intentions but fall short on the follow through, and may be embarrassed to give a negative response or have their own situations that may not be conducive to assist...let them know your final plans to allow for some dialogue, if they don't respond with to the gesture, then you can eliminate them as friends. If they respond.. this will give you the opportunity to re-evaluate your friendship and put it in prespective. You ultimately hold the decision in your hands. Accomplish your goals..things have a way of working out..be positive. Lots of luck and Best wishes.
1 person likes this
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
4 Apr 08
Well, when they have not responded despite the number of messages I have sent them, I already presumed that their answer is NO. I just thought however, that it would be fair if I was told the reason/s. Thank you very much for wishing me well my friend...
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
3 Apr 08
sad to know your story, it's annoying that you expect somebody will help you but at the end, will not. siguro kong ako yon i won't consider them as my forever friend. although as of now, you are not sure what their reason why they didn't reply any of your messages...sometimes we are force to admit "expect the unexpected" it's unexpected what they did to you because you expect that they will help you...anyway, work it in your own with the help of your relatives, family and your boyfriend. i know you can make it. kaya mo yan! good luck to you my friend.
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
4 Apr 08
although as of now, you are not sure what their reason why they didn't reply any of your messages
This makes me more uncomfortable. As I have mentioned, I send them messages through Friendster and whenever I check their profiles I see when was the last time they logged in and obviously, they regularly log in. This simply means they get my messages but do not reply. Anyway, thank you for your support. It really means a lot to me!
