Is it fair when a child dies not to included both parents after a divorce?

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Ok, my son's girlfriend passed away. I didn't know the parents at all. So we are there during the calling hours and we where sitting next to the back row and a group of people come in and sit in back of us. Here this was the girls bio mom that was not allowed to call or talk to her since last summer. She had been trying but that whole side of the family was not allowed to contact the girl. She was 12 years old and I gues lived with dad and step-mom. The girl's mother was not even allowed to set up front! To me this is outragous because even if there was a falling out, this was still her daughter. I told her that I was sorry for thier loss also. In a nice gesture, the friends that she had introduced themselves to her and gave her a hug and didn't even talk to the other set of parents. What is your thoughts on this? Even if a family is divorced, shouldn't both parents be able to grieve the same way? Should have her mom been allowed to have time with her daughter for the last time? They had to drive over 3 hours. I just don't feel if there is a falling out that this should have happened. I guess the step mom had placed the girl into the group home. I am just still upset.