It Went From Bad To Worse... I'm So Stressed Out!!

@CatsandDogs (13963)
United States
April 3, 2008 11:19pm CST
I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. I really do. All I do now is sleep because the stress is getting to me. Here's the update. My husband's mother is in a hallucinating state of mind. We don't think she'll be with them much longer. She's seeing and calling out to her mother, father and her brothers. My husband had spent Friday to Tuesday with her and his sister. A few hours after he left to come home his step father, the only father he's ever known, has fallen down and was rushed to the hospital and the doctors think he had a heart attack and has broken one hip and fractured the other. He's 87 years old and so we all don't think he'll survive the surgery if there is to be one. My husband is so confused in whether he should return or stay here. I'm not either but in a way I'm thinking he should stay here because like I said before, his sister knew what she was getting into when she bought that house because of the small one behind hers for them, and has taken care of the elderly before so it's nothing new to her but it's one excuse after another that she's stressed out. We all know she's a drama queen and can make things sound worse than they really are so we have to take everything with a grain of salt but still, hubby is so sensitive and tries to do that but it's hard for him to let it go in the wind and see through what she's saying. I guess because he knows how their mother and step father are and they can make things pretty difficult but now that their mother is mentally gone, it's their step father who's causing a bunch of problems in the way the sister is doing things. Hubby had to put him in his place a few times while he was there and now that he's had a heart attack, hubby is feeling a wee bit guilty but also knows it had to be done. I told him it's a no win situation because he had to be put in his place because his sister is doing the work as it should be done. Anyway.... it looks like hubby will be losing both at the same time or darn close together. In a way it's a good thing because it's the way they wanted to go because they've always said that if one dies the other will commit suicide. To top it all off, hubby's neice who had a fallen out with hubby's mother quite a while back over some stolen money, she's moved in and is caring for their mother, her grandmother. Her grandmother who is in this state of mind because she's dying, doesn't know it's her taking care of her while hubby's sister is at the hospital with their step father. Probably a good thing she's out of her mind but still very sad. There's more... My nephew's car that he dearly loved and paid on for three years was repossessed. He's so upset over it but takes full responsibility for it. He needs $2,500. to get it back. Poor kid has cried his heart out over this and I wish I could help him but I'm in a pickle myself. He and his fiance are getting married as well this summer. Are they going to be able to? And they're suppose to buy my parents house in the fall... are they going to be able to? They'll put my parents in one heck of a spot if they don't because they'll have to pay the full amount of the mortgage which they can't afford. And there's one more... I'm worried sick about a dear dear friend who is going through a terrible divorce. She knows who she is and there's nothing you can do about it either! lol I love you dearly so therefore I'm going to worry about ya, ok?Hubby is so depressed about our money situation and can't afford to drive up there and back because of the gas prices and because we just don't have it. I've been on here more often than not trying to make a little bit more, just a bit more for him and because I've got to buy an outfit for the funeral(s) because nothing that I have now fits me anymore. Gee, does it ever end? When it rains it pours around here. Speaking of that, it's been raining here for 5 days now and gosh, the gloomy-ness isn't helping me at all. Sooooo how are you all doing? (sarcasticlly speaking)
10 people like this
17 responses
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Oh my gosh you are going through so much. Here is what you need to do. Stop everything and start a bubble bath. Make it nice and hot. Grab some candles and light them in the bathroom. Now shut off the lights in the bathroom so it is only lit by candle light. Get in the tub and relax. Tell yourself that this too shall pass and right this minute in this nice hot bubble bath life is good. Stay in there until the water starts turning colder. Give yourself this break from everything. Only think of good thoughts during this time no bad ones. Your mind needs the rest as does your body. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Hi Tricia, you won't believe this but it got worse and I started another discussion on it. I swear, I want to run away!! lol But like my mom says, one can't run from their mind so here I stay. Thanks so much for your prayers!! Bless you!!
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
6 Apr 08
Cats sweety I am so sorry that things have gotten so bad for you guys! Whilst if it were my Grandma I would move heaven and earth to be there our circumstances are totally different and I guess what you have to worry about is how your hubby will feel when it is all over! I know that may sound callous but if he is going to be drowning in guilt if he isn't there at the end maybe he should be there but you have to put his and your health first! I know the feeling of everything happening at once sweety but as they say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger - not that that is much help for you now! I am keeping you guys in my prayers and hope that things get a lot easier for you real soon! Hugs xxx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
9 Apr 08
Hi Cats you really are strong aren't you sweets - that is what is going to get you and hubby through all this! Niamh is fine - just got the results from her third sample and the white cell count seems to have gone back to normal range so that is fantastic! xxx
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Hello Mummymo! :) I must be one strong gal, I've gotta tell you that! LOL I did an update discussion so if you want, check it out. Things went from bad to worse... yet again! The ordeal I talk about is over, not the one with hubby's mother but something else. I just found out my mom just hit a deer and messed up her car a little bit... Gosh, does it ever end? How's your little girl? Hope she's doing better!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
5 Apr 08
Goodness Sweetie you need to get away You are like me when it hits it hits bad and all at once I so wish I was there closer and I would help you this is the time I get mad because we all live so far apart I really hope that it will settle down soon for you I think you certainly need a break Big Hugs to you and if you need me shout
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
5 Apr 08
God must think we're some kind of strong people Gabs or he wouldn't over load us like he does. Or is it the darned devil who's doing it? I don't know but I do wish it would calm down some so I can get my head screwed on tight once again. Thanks so much hon for your hugs and love! Same back to you and more!! You're a dear dear friend!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
5 Apr 08
Well I really hope that he will give you a rest soon Sweetie as I think you have had more then enough to deal with I will always be here for you Love you and a big Hug
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
4 Apr 08
Oh my, sounds like your family has got a lot on their plate. I think that you could stand to treat yourself to a nice soothing bubble bath. Maybe get some slow music going and light some candles and just relax in a warm tub. Some times we just have to give up the concern and worry and just focus on keeping our own self together. You are the one who can be there to keep everyone centered. Pray about it and then sit back, relax, and watch God work it out.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
5 Apr 08
I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes it is harder for me to trust God for my family than for me. When my family is suffering, I just feel so helpless. I want to get in there and do something to make it all better, but I can't.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
4 Apr 08
I sooo agree with you Rozie. I'm trying to let go and let God, but it's so hard. I may need to try harder. I know there's nothing hubby or I can do about the whole situation but it still bothers us both something awful. We hate to see anybody having troubles. Especially the good. But we all have to carry a cross some times in our lives and I guess this is our time... what a heavy one it is.
1 person likes this
@schilds (410)
• United States
4 Apr 08
Wow! As far as your inlaws (Mom and Dad) there isn't much you can do for them. So, try to support your husband as much as possible. If he needs to be with them try to make that decision as easy as possible for him. There's not much you can do about the sister or the niece either - as long as Mom and Dad are being cared for I would just ignore them as much as possible. Your nephew losing his car is upsetting for sure, but its his own fault. If you cant help him - you cant help him. My husband and I got married for less than $500 including our rings, so if they really want to get married they will - let that one go too. You cant do anything about your parents house either - so let that one go, atleast for now, you have enough going on right now. I say put on some rainboots and go splash in some puddles.
1 person likes this
@schilds (410)
• United States
6 Apr 08
It's too bad your nephew has had such a load to bare. I see the same with one of mine - he is 15 now, and the oldest and between his dad and step-mom they have 7 kids, so he gets babysitting duties most weekends when he should be out with his friends being a 15 year old boy. I know you cant help him with the car, but maybe offer to help with a wedding on the cheap. My mom helped me cook all the food for our wedding - except the cake - and we had a picnic at the lake. We had actually eloped a few month earlier, but in my family any excuse for a party is a good one. It sounds like you are in great need of a party too, and it would be something fun to think about. Today while hubby is gone give yourself permission to forget about it all and do something fun. Go window shopping - eat something disgustingly fattening, but oh so yummy! - take the pups to the park. I plan on clearing all of the paperwork off my sewing table so I can finish the blocks for the quilt I am working on, and maybe start on my neices christmas present (I was a very bad aunt last year!). I find sewing is great for days when I just don't want to deal with all the crap -- I have to concentrate on what I am doing and cant think about anything else.
@gemini_rose (16264)
4 Apr 08
Well you are having a rubbish time of it just lately, you and your family. Stress is the worst too it can make you so ill as I know through my own dealings of stress. Compared to what you are going through at the moment my piddling little complaints have just been blown into the wind. I have no words of wisdom for you, only to tell you to try to remember to look after yourself so that you can be strong for everyone else, and also that you know that everyone you know will be around to support you. The only thing I can do is think positive thoughts for you and send them to you and pray that the rain stops for you and you get some sunshine. Take care.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
4 Apr 08
Just knowing you care is enough for me. Thanks so much for taking the time to hear me out and letting me vent some. It helped a great deal and I slept like a baby last night. I so needed that.
@gemini_rose (16264)
4 Apr 08
You are very welcome, anytime you need to vent I will be here. Glad you got a good nights sleep, sometimes things look a little better after a good nights sleep. As it is now gone midnight in the UK as I send this to you I think I should be heading off myself. Take care.
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Apr 08
WOW hun thats alot to absorb all at once. I am very sorry to hear all of this is going on in your life sweety. No matter what happens everything will work out in the end. I know it's hard but ya gotta try and stay positive. I know how hard it is especially when the days are gloomy it really don't help at all. All you can do is be there to support your hubby, family and friend and just hope that things get better sooner rather than later. Hugs, StrawberryKisses P.S. At least there isn't a chance of snow for you tonight LOL
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
4 Apr 08
No snow here! lol Thank goodness! But I feel like asking the world to please stop spinning and let me off!! lol Kind of like a bus stop, let me the hell off!! I can't take any more! But of course, we all know it doesn't work that way and I have to hand it to God and let him work it out and ask for His strength to help me through these dark times. Thanks so much for all your sweet wishes!
• Canada
4 Apr 08
You are very welcome my dear. I hope everything gets worked out soon. You have a great snow free day/night Huggers
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
5 Apr 08
Oh hon....I'm so sorry that things are getting so bad for your family. It's so difficult when you know that there's not much you can do to help. I wish there was some sound sage advice that I could give. But at any rate, I and the rest of your friends are here for you. You just concentrate on being there for your hubby because I'm sure he really needs you more than ever. Be there for each other like you've been doing. Lots of love and hugs to you my dear friend.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
6 Apr 08
Friends - What would we do without our friends?!
Thanks so much Kat. You're a dear friend! I'm trying my best to be there for my hubby but at times it's hard to see him so upset. He knows what his mother is about and how mean she's been all of her life but at the same time, it's his mother and he loves her. I know too, that he's looking for the love he'll never get. It's so sad. The latest news is, she had a stroke so it doesn't sound like she'll be around much longer. His step dad had a heart attack and fractured his hip but isn't in need of surgery so he'll be in the nursing home for the next 30 days, that is if he doesn't sign himself out. He's been known to do that quite a few times. So we'll see how it goes from here.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Apr 08
Holy moly CatsandDogs just reading this is making my own head spin. It always does seem that when one thing goes wrong more is sure to follow like a snowball effect. My mother wasn't as bad as your hubby's but she most definitely had some form of dementia or something cause she was living in or on another planet, believe me You know you're in my prayers that somehow things will work out even though at the moment you probably can't see it (((hugs to you)))
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
6 Apr 08
A friend in need - of support, love and hugs! Thanks Pye!
Awww Pye.... You're a dear friend, do you know that? Thanks so much for the prayers. Hubby and I both need them for it's been a tough situation to be in and to keep our sanities... HA! Well just found out that his mom had a stroke so we don't think she's here for much longer. His step dad had a heart attack and one hip is fractured but doesn't need surgery. He'll be in the nursing home for 30 days, that is if he doesn't sign himself out AGAIN. Hubby is going up there tomorrow and says he'll be back tomorrow night but I told him to stay up there for a few days and he said he'll see once he gets up there. Thanks for the hugs!! I feel them! I feel them!
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
4 Apr 08
Well, everyone will experience all the most dreadful and stressful situation sometimes. We need to be able to handle them one day at a time. Right now, I have a major problem. My husband and I are both not working, no income and our debts are mounting up. I have a car and a house that has default in payments. There was one day where we practically have nothing to eat except for rice. It was pure luck that I have my family to back me up with some money and also I have God by my side to help me with my current situation. I try to stay calm and be positive about my current situation. I told myself that it will pass and soon everything will be just like it used to be.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
4 Apr 08
I know a lot of us have problems of one sort or another however ours are tough and we'll make it as long as we have God on our side. Bless your heart! I hope things get better for you as well and really soon!
• Philippines
7 Apr 08
So sorry to hear that things are happening with you cats. You have to remember that everything happens for a reason and that there's a rainbow after the rain. I'm sure time will come that everything will go just fine with you my dear. Just have faith and don't loose hope. As for me, everything is fine now. I just filed a resignation letter two weeks ago and then I already found a new job a week ago and they are willing to wait for me until I finish all my obligation with the company. The salary is much lower than what I'm getting from the company but that's fine with me because I prefer teaching in school rather than doing office stuff but don't have feeling of fulfillment. I believe that when God closes the door, He surely open the window for you. Take care cats. God Bless you and your family.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
7 Apr 08
Thank you so much jhoana joey! You're so right about the rainbow after the rain. I might have one huge rainbow after this rain!! LOL No I will never lose hope nor will I ever lose faith. Maybe this is a test of my love and faith for God and I know I'll eventually come out smelling like a rose. Well maybe not that good but something close to that. lol
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
5 Apr 08
Wow...that is a terrible lode that you guys are coping with! it'd be enough to send some right over the edge. I wish there was some great advice to give you but if there is, I sure don't know it. You are a strong lady for sure. Hang in there. things just have to get better soon.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
5 Apr 08
I'm trying to be strong....... I'm so trying to be strong but gosh! I wonder why I'm given such a heck of a load to carry!! God must think I'm REALLY strong to give so much for me to handle. Say a prayer for us please for we sure need them.
@xlinzixx (510)
4 Apr 08
awww you are going so much right now i hope things get better for you soon thats definately alot to deal with and i thought i was having problems till i just read this poor you.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
4 Apr 08
We all have our problems so don't belittle yours. I'm hoping and praying things will lighten up a little and soon because yeah, it is a bit much to have on any one person's mind.
• United States
4 Apr 08
Hi Cats,I am so very sorry to hear of all your heartaches and trouble going on in your life right now.That is a lot to take in all at once. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Just remember"If God Brings you to it,He will bring You through it".Have faith Huggs
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
4 Apr 08
That is true, God will see me through this. He must think I'm pretty darn strong, huh? lol Thanks for the prayers. Bless you!!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
9 Apr 08
My goodness, you poor, poor darling and your hubby too. I find myself wishing you could both detach yourselves from the goings on with your families because I think firstly, there is nothing more you can do and secondly, it is causing you both anguish and pain. I know it's not likely to happen that you do put it to one side for now but I do wish you could accept that is is beyond you now. I have a feeling things will go on for a bit longer yet so it's possible you're worrying needlessly at this point. If the end is near for one or both, I have to be honest and say it will be a blessed relief in some ways. As for something to wear, is it possible to get something from a thrit shop? No-one has to know. There is nothing you can do for your nephew. He has to be an adult now and make some strong decisions and then follow through and do the right thing. He should have worried before the car was repossessed. He probably couldn't afford it in the first place. My heart goes out to you. I know you will get through this because you are loving and strong. Sending you hugs of comfort and love. xxx
@qiao522 (449)
• China
4 Apr 08
u know what,my grandpa is now in danger of cancer,and i am really deressed cause he loves so much and my family members.we are all in the very low mood,now. but we don't try to save him by any medical measures cause he is too old to get such modern surgery. and all we can do is juest spend as much as we can on accompanying with him and making him feel warm and happy.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
4 Apr 08
Jesus is the way - He will help you stay strong.
Bless your heart! I'm so sorry to hear about your loving grandfather. Please know that my heart and prayers are with you and your family. Warm hugs....
@Deea48 (1166)
• United States
4 Apr 08
Wow, you certainly have a lot of very stressful things going on. I have had times like that in my life, I just always remember that "This to Shall Pass" Hang in there, I shall say a prayer for your family. Take good care.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
4 Apr 08
Thank you so much Dee for your prayers! Bless you too for caring!! I agree, this too shall pass. I hope sooner than later because this stress is really hard to bear. I know the Good Lord doesn't give us any more than we can handle but like mother Theresa said, I wish He didn't trust me so much.