Do you feel that your kids are spoiled? Were you spoiled as a child?

My dad is fond of saying, "If a child is not spoiled he is neglected, and I don't plan to neglect my children." That has been my philosophy or the past forty years.

I heard it said, that parents should never spoil their children ... ... that is the role of the grandparents.

I don't have kids yet but I have little nephew and niece who are spoiled. My nephew is my brother's first kid and first grandson on my sister-in-law's side of family. So everybody gives almost what he wants. Very spoiled. Now, my niece is not first though but the youngest of my other brother's family. So everybody's loving her including her two big siblings now. Both these two play together because they're about the same age but once they play together, it would surely going to be a disaster.

It’s so hard not to spoil a child. We have 3 kids. 2 aren't with us full time - we are the weekend parents. At there full time house they are spoiled rotten. They have every toy and EXPECT them. At our house they are different because they know we are NOT going to buy them every toy in the world. We set limitations in our house. Video games for an hour a day, homework is to be done as soon as they get home from school, bath time is at 8pm. They know not to argue with us because this is the way it is. At home they tell there mother what they are doing, when they are doing it and that’s that. Now our daughter she is only 16 months and although I do buy her a lot of things, she will never EXPECT me to buy her what ever she wants. I'm thinking when she gets to the age where she is asking for things we will limit what she gets. Because right now it’s more about what I want her to have then what she wants to have. I think that if your child has every toy in the world it doesn't mean that they are spoiled. Spoiled to me is when they throw a fit because you say no and then you get it anyway. As quoted from this site http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoiled_brat Spoiled by definition is - A spoiled brat is a child who believes that they are superior to others around them, usually as a result of their parents and/or other educators systematically failing to teach socially acceptable behavior and discipline. The term also carries the connotation of the child's being privileged, as well seldom being subjected to consequences of their actions. However, a child could be perfectly behaved and still be called a brat in a derogatory manner. That being said I don't think that my daughter is spoiled but my other 2 are. Now you asked if it has a positive or negative effect on them. My 2 older kids don't say thank you, please, excuse me, WHY? Because they were not taught to. In our house they are expected to say thank you when some thing is given to them if they don't say thank you they don't get it. I think spoiling has a negative effect on kids. Kids that are spoiled expect the world to be easy and its NOT. You and I both know that. We have to work for what we have, kids need to be taught to work for things too. Not hard labor outside digging ditches but if they keep there room clean all week they can get some thing at the end of the week. 1 item a week turns into 52 items a year plus birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and what ever other reason you buy them some thing. THATS A LOT of stuff! My older kids even thought they aren't at our house full time have chores and responsibilities. They are responsible for cleaning there own room and picking up toys left outside of there play room. They have the chores of feeding the dog, and taking out the garbage, for that they get an allowance. It’s funny to see how they treat there mom because they know they can, then come to our house and are pretty good kids. My youngest as I said is too young, but she will be expected to do the same things they are. Wow long response and a little off the subject sorry about that just thought it was the only way to get my WHOLE point across. ~E

I guess according to the general consensus my kids are spoiled. My older three have two sets of parents and they want for nothing. They are good kids though and they are good students too. My youngest is spoiled too. She is going to be 2 next month and daddy gives in to pretty much everything. She is a pretty good little girl. She doesn't throw a fit if we put a toy back on the shelf at the store. She also says "thank you" and "welcome" (you're welcome) already and has for awhile now. She has inherited my utter lack of patience unfortunately. As for the rest of your question; yes I was pretty spoiled myself as a kid. My mom grew up with nothing and she wanted us to have what she didn't. We all turned out well I think.

know a days children are getting spoiled due to many reasons.many are being affected by this.this is due to their parents.they give the too much freedom to their children& they are responsible for thier wrong this.because of tv&movies many children are being affected.movies are spoiling the children alot.they watch everything in movies & practice that outside.so parents should see what their children are doing.

Well my child is not spoilt but very rude nonetheless. He is our only child and like you, we would not have any more but since childhood, I was very careful not to indulge him. He was OK till some years back, appreciated whatever we gave him but then he started understanding his surroundings and what his friends have and what he doesn’t, and he started pestering us for more. As always, I refused and I still do but he is no longer accepting it gracefully. He is creating quite serious tantrums and more often than not, we have to give in. but as a child I was never spoilt and though at that time I did not like it at that time, I understand how useful it was for me.

I don't think there is nothing wrong in getting your child something as long as you don't go over board with it. A toy here and there is fine, but not everytime you go anywhere with them. Spoiling a child can be positive and negative. Positive as along it's not all the time. Negative if it is and the child isn't taught to say thank you and expect something every time you go to a store even a grocery store. I was like you, with my oldest. I thought she was going to be the only one. Heck, I didn't want any more kids. Well, life had other plans, I had another baby girl 6 yrs after my oldest was born. Then things changed. It didn't stop what we were doing, we just had to split it in two. I can have a yard sale from toys alone. I could give a stuff animals to 2-3 classes at my kids school and have animals left over.

My son has tons of toys, but I love buying them for him. I guess he's spoiled, but I think every generation complains "kids these days are so spoiled".

I was an only child and I was not spoilt, I had to wait for christmas or a birthday for things that I really wanted and I had to do jobs to earn my pocket money. I have 4 children and so there is not the money to really spoil them, but at first when they were a lot younger we would go a bit mad on buying them the toys they wanted but because they were getting mountains of toys, they stopped appreciating them and would just break them. Since then we have just stopped going mad and also we now get them doing jobs around the house to earn their own money, I have seen a big difference in them since we started doing this.

It depends I dont see buying them what you can afford as spoiling, to me spoiling a child is, always letting them have their own way, buying them something cos they shouted for it even if you dont have the money for it, and just generally letting them get away with any bad behaviour. My two have plenty of toys but theres a limit often one has asked for something and ive said no because we cant afford it, if we can then I might say ok but you wait until birthday or show me that you deserve something new. Letting children have nice things doesnt spoil them as long as they know the other side of it in that you have to earn nice things as they wont just get handed out when you are an adult. Spoiling a child in letting them have everything for no effort is negative and wont help them in the long run when they are adults and have to earn things themselves, I guess its all about balance I treat my children when I can but sometimes No is the only answer and so far they accept this as ive tried hard to show them why im saying no.