big brother rejects his little sister who has ASD

@ch88ss (2271)
United States
April 4, 2008 11:50pm CST
being a mother is harder than being a child. I thought I was horrible as a teenager. I realized it is harder when you are the mother. I realized then that I was not too out of line compared to what my son has done, over and over. It is becoming a very ill moment for me everytime I see him yell at his little sister. What can I do? He tells everyone that he is the forgotten child, yet I work hard to give him everyhthing he desire. He seems to feel that he is working too hard to help his sister, when in reality he sleeps over at friends house all the time that I don't even see him for a couple of nights. And when he is home, he is in the room, so when does he really helps his sister? I don't see it? It is more than I write in mylot but It is becoming very difficult to be a mother to a teen he rejects his sister who is autistic. I am so lost in this big world.
2 responses
• Bahamas
5 Apr 08
Maybe he's angry.Not just because his sister has autism, but because he loves her and is powerless to change it.Sometimes it's hard for our kids to relay their true feelings so they act out. It could be that he's trying to escape the reality of the situation by being gone so much. Whatever the reason he has some resentment going on, but seeing that i'm not a professional i can not be sure.And yes being a mother can be hard at times...I hope things get better for you.
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Dear Dragonfly242 Thank you for sharing this thought. I never looked at this way, you could be right. Men and women react different to situation that stresses them out. My son after all is probably doing the same thing, he is hurt because he does not have someone normal to play with. With this in mind, I think I need to give him his space and let him be until he is ready to come around and talk about it. I hope and hope for the best. I hurts me to see that my son is hurting because his sister is hurting. I am hurting.
• United States
5 Apr 08
I think it might be a combination of him being jealous of the attention she gets along with not understanding why she is so different from him... It might be hard for him to understand the differences in how she acts but he's still a kid and kids will sometimes feel like they are being neglected... I don't know this is a very touchy subject... I think maybe you should explain her autism to him and tell him why things are the way they are...
@ch88ss (2271)
• United States
15 Apr 08
Thanks. I agree this is touchy and hard subject. I tried to open up discussion with him about Autism and he just ignores it and at times he is embarrased about how his sister acts in school. They attend the same school and all his friends know his sister. So he hates it when he has to pick up his sister from class because he does not want other kids seeing him with her. I don't know what to do anymore. I am considering signing up for volunteer work which also include children with needs (especially autism) and ask him to join so he can see how many other kids are different and how they are still loved and need help the same way his sister does.