Am I Gallant or just a Jerk

In my younger years I refused to go through a door if it was held open by a man. What? Am I not able to hold a door open myself? I really didn't understand. I am young, healthy and active. Yet I have had men who are (to be frank) barely able to stand on their own and encumbered with shopping holding doors for me. Why? What possible good can that do? I've grown out of that; I understand people are old fashioned. But why should someone offer to help a person because of some arbitrary factor that has nothing to do with their own abilities? I can only apologise for being rational... I wouldn't say being a 'gentleman' equates to being a jerk or a creep (surely that's the opposite of gentlemanly), but I do find it strange. Especially if a person will not offer to help out a man in the same situation.

It appears gallant, polite and all that jazz... But, now since they have fought for equal rights and equal status, equal pay etc... it might seem a bit creepy when someone does this... Personally, I would go for option one...but our grandchildren would either find it funny or confusing.

pike I may be old fashioned, but I raised my boys with theses southern manners.It has nothing to do really with equality, but with respect and manners. I bet if women even feminists were honest, what you will find is that ladies still want to be treated like ladies. It speaks volumes to me when one of my sons friends come in and show these type of gentlemanly behaviors. Not to mention what it says about their parents.

On an Easter Day about 8 years ago, I got a flat. The visually impaired roommate & I had to change it. On the side of a busy highway. It sure would've been nice if someone had stopped and helped.

To me that is polite and gallant and I don't want to see us lose any of that. When a man opens the door for me or stops to help me or is polite I find it attractive and it puts me in a good mood and I have repect for him. In my opinion more men need to be like that.

What you're speaking of is conscientiousness, as I see it, p1ke and I love it. I do it myself, too. I love tending to as much as I love being tended to.

I do not find it offensive if a guy opens doors for me or give up his seat for a woman in the bus or on the train. I rarely see this kind of genture anymore but once in a while, some gentleman do open doors for me and I always thank him for doing that. I also make it a point to return the favor whenever I can. :)

Heh, I'm quite an old fashion little fella. If someone drops an item, I'll be the only one in the room to bother picking it up for them. Funny how many people don't keep some of the traditional respectful values. It's not really meant to be patronizing.

I am a man and I do that (open doors and hold them for others, help damsels in distress, etc) to women and others as well. I think even in this day and age, many people still hold on to and cherish some old fashioned values that border on politeness and consideration for others. Chivalry still exists, and it is certainly alright to be chivalrous and gallant. I've noticed that these actions are still appreciated by people everywhere. Such values are good to uphold, and we should learn to keep them faithfully and apply them to others. In turn, we also appreciate it when others are chivalrous towards us.

I think it is nice when men (or women for that matter) hold the door open for me but it is not required. I will never forget this day for as long as I live. I was going into the mall one weekend and a man and his wife were entering at the same time. She walked a few steps ahead of him. When she got to the door she just stood there until he opened it for her. Then with her arms down at her sides she walked through and waited at the inner door. I had to laugh at that. In my relationship and life in general, whoever gets to the door first opens it and holds it open for the other person. Unless of course one of us has their hands full. If I am holding the baby or have my hands full my husband will rush ahead of me to get the door. I will do the same for him.

I think he is being gallant and polite and that is something I hope we can keep in this fast changing world. Those gallant gestures should never be put aside for equality of the sexes or anything else.

Even in this day of equality of the sexes,I still love it when a man treats me like a lady. It's a rare thing to meet a gentleman, it seems as though they're a dying breed. I say dont close the door on old fashioned values. Lets teach our sons to be gentlemen...Then it wont seem creepy just normal.

My husband does that all the time, for me and for others. He is very polite. I do the same thing, I frequently hold the door for others, men and women alike. It's just a simple way to show a little kindess to someone. If you smile and say hello as they walk though, you'll be surprised at how many smiles and hellos that you get back.

I for one welcome those gestures!! If someone holds the door for you ..it makes life feel good!!!...though I have done a certain little survey on this subject!!!....ok ..heres the results... When I have taken extra care with the way i look..the response is postive...the doors get held open and the `Good mornings` flow.. But if i just pop out quickly in my `natural state` lolol...the response is qute different...thus giving strength to the question...Does how you look count??? But for me chivalry is a good character strength I had a boss at work ..she was somewhat intimidating to say the least..!!!!but rumour had it that certain circumstances had made her bitter towards life...another colleague held the office door open for her ...her spiteeful retort to a well respected colleague was...NO man needs to hold a door open for me!!!!...he was more than taken aback..plus i felt so sorry for him...in addition i felt a considerable amount of anger towards the `boss`... Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself!!!!!...for me a good motto to follow!!

Yes I know I'm contrary. I like it when a man holds the door open for me and when they offer to help carry things that are heavy. Mr Croc holds my coat for me to put on when we are out. These small things make the day pleasant. It s chivalrous for men to do these things. What really annoys me is when people don't say thank you to them.

I don't feel any less equal to a man if he offers to hold the door for me or lifts his hat (not that I know any with hats to lift, although I think I'd get a kick out of it if I did) if he meets me. I don't think common courtesy should be seen as an insult. And, if a woman can change her own tire, then all she has to do is say "no, thanks, I've got it" and she can still appreciate the sentiment offered without assuming it means the man thinks she's inferior.

I am so use to doing everything for myself that I sometimes get a little taken aback when someone holds a door open for me or pulls out my chair in a restaurant. depending on my mood I either smiley slightly and say thank you (but think to myself that the gentleman is old fashioned and it makes me smile more) or if I am in a particularly bad mood and want to fight with the world I will stop and take the door from them and say, "thanks but I can handle it, I'm a big tough girl, I tie my own sandals and everything". That line has gotten me some of the strangest looks. But no one has ever stuck around to argue.

My personal opinion, it is wonderful you do that. I am always shocked when a man opens the door for me. I wish more men were like you. Perhaps you should give the new generation the lessons. Oh yes by the way, the gentleman that I had mentioned in a discussion before does all that too. Ainge

Well, I can't speak for other women but I think that that's so sweet, to see a man do this for women. I find it to be gallant and romantic. Call me a sap but I think it shows how thoughtful and respectful a man is when he does this for his lady. My husband is like this and I love him even more for it!

I wish more men would do that, infact more people in general. I love how polite and gentalmanly my partner is maybe im just old fashioned atheart though!