Parents??

United States
April 8, 2008 12:57pm CST
Do any of you have older parents that you are caring for? I know there must be some of you out there?? I just wanted to say , How do you do it? I am at my wits end caring for older parents and working and kids , the car, health issues etc. Please any insight on this would greatly help at this time. I am so very overwhelmed. I have been at the Doctors office everyday for 2 weeks, and no end in site. I am frantic to get some help, but with them making too much money to be helped there is little I can accomplish. This is the absoulte dreages. I see no end in sight. Please lend an ear and let me know how ya all cope. I am coping horribly. Help??
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
8 Apr 08
Dear Leeannmarie: First of all, I'd like to say that it's admirable that you are caring for your older parents. I am fortunate that my mom and step dad are still able to hold on to their independence, but I know that one day I will need to give them a lot more attention than I do now. Nevertheless, I will put in my 2 cents. I suppose that you don't have siblings who can help out, and I'm assuming the funds are not there to hire someone at least part time, and that it's too late to buy a long-term care policy. I guess the key is in the fact that you are probably not able to take any time at all to take care of yourself. A question: are there any community centers where you can take your parents and let them stay there a few hours a week so that you can use that time to get a manicure, pedicure, massage, yoga class, a nap, etc.? Many towns have them, and older folks thrive on that change of scenery. Is there any chance you can pay someone $50 every couple of weeks or so to clean your house or babysit the family? When you are feeling overwhelmed, do you notice that maybe you're not breathing deeply? That can make you feel even worse, so remember to breathe. Remember to take care of your own health. Remember to share with your friends. Remember to give yourself a pat on the back for helping others. I wish you the best.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Apr 08
Thank you so much one and all. This has really lifted my spirits today. I really was at the end of my rope today. This is a wonderful community for airing out problems, and fustrations. Thank you coryronald for the BREATH comment. That is something I was not doing and now I have taken a few deep breaths, I feel better. Suprising to me. We have such limited resourses here in the rural side of the country. I have no senior services, we do have meals on wheels, but they prefer my cooking. Even when they do get the meals, sometimes they won`t eat them. I just must remember how much I do love them and try to do the best I can , day by day. Really ,I guess that is all anyone can do. Thank you again.
• United States
8 Apr 08
Thank you, Leeannmarie, for writing back. Again, I salute you for taking care of your parents. You are definitely earning your wings! God bless you!!!!
@jesbellaine (4155)
• Philippines
9 Apr 08
My parents are not old but our grandfather is. It is true that it is frustrating and stressing for my parents to take care of us, their work and our grandfather but thank goodness, he is still healthy. The only problem is that when he gets such a nuisance and when he is not in the mood. He would walk around the house and will notice everything... hehehe but other than, he is good. !
• United States
8 Apr 08
I look after my mom who is 76 yrs old i hope that she never have to be placed in a nursing home,i'm a little old fashion and believe that family should take care of family.
@enola1692 (3325)
• United States
8 Apr 08
do grandma's count I took care of my hubby's grandma for over 6 years with little help an I had no help at all just his family telling how to take care of her wich pissed me off cause they wouldnt even come an see her oh yea they lived not even a block away anyway what worked for me was having someone to vent to so if you need to vent just add me to friends list an talk I can tell you some real horror story but i will also give you moral suport
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
8 Apr 08
I did it. I work 2nd shift so my mom scheduled all her many appts. so that I could run her. IN between appts. she would call me constantly becuz she "missed me". Then she reached a point where her mind was going and she was pretty much bedridden. She was adamant about not going to a nursing home. My brother and I ended up taking care of her full time. Hard and time consuming? oh you bet. I thought the doctors appts. took up my time. Now I had next to no time at all. I also have a 14 yr. old still at home. Hospice was involved which was helpful but she did not trust any of them. When I began this job, they did not think she would live a month. She lived for 8 months. We'd never been close. Before her mind went we had some good talks and we actually did get quite close. For that reason, I am glad I stuck it out. During those 8 months, I had to rearrange my entire life and set prioritys. My house was never completely clean. IN most communitys they do have shuttle service for the elderly. before she was housebound I did have her take the shuttle sometimes. It was great for her as she made some friends and after the first few times, didn't mind it at all.