What do you think about "open" relationships?

@trusko (198)
April 11, 2008 3:36pm CST
Im sure everybody have heard about open relationship before. Well I have. However I have never met anybody who would "practice" one. Can something like this work? Not that I am interested. Im just being curious. To me being in a relationship means you want the commitment etc. I don't see much point of being in a relationship, if you want to "play" the field. Can you really both see other people, come home and be happy together and still be intimate without one of you wondering....?And how people actually agree to it?This is just my point of view. Im not here to judge. As I said Im being curious and I would like to hear people's opinions.;-) Thanks
3 people like this
11 responses
• United States
12 Apr 08
i think they are a scam made up by men so they can cheat with no consequences. i would hate to get ready to be intimate with someone and have to wonder "and how many people did you sleep with today" it is completely ridiculous.
@trusko (198)
13 Apr 08
That is interesting explanation ;-) I like it ;-)
@NCgirl (488)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
Yeah it's really weird, but some couples or individuals who are in a relationship practice that.For me, if that person who have that open relationship with someone, and in a marriage at the same time, I think he/she's not really seriously in love with his/her partner. If he/she do, he/she wouldn't do such a thing that would compromist the relationship and something that his/her partner will be mad of. If we're in love, don't we feel like a little obssessed with our partner that we get jealous if someone's around them or someone's talking or flirting with them? I mean I wouldn't let that happen in my relationship, I am so protective of my marriage and of my husband, yeah I get jealous a lot. It's weird, he likes me being jealous sometimes. I never heard on anyone of that kind of relationship as well, but a lot of times some people are have an affair outside the relationship, that happens a lot.
@eden32 (3975)
• United States
12 Apr 08
Yes affairs happen frequently and I think in part that's what partners who have alternative relationships hope to avoid. I've been in my relationship for almost 7 years now. My partner & I are committed to each other in every way imaginable. Our intimate life is of course very important to me, but it's not hardly the only very important thing in our lives. If he (or I) started to feel like we needed to spice things up, experience something new together- why not be open to the idea of exploring together? There's no question in my mind, I would rather that we make a choice like that together than he (or I) invest time & feelings in an affair. Lying to the other about what we're doing, sneaking around, etc. That can all be really exciting to someone who's been in a relationship for years; but that's what will destroy a relationship not together deciding to try an open relationship.
@kezabelle (2980)
11 Apr 08
No if you love someone you should give them everything you have physically mentally emotionally the works towards making your relationship a good one, I fail to see how you can do that when you have your mind elsewhere on antoehr man.woman it cant happen. Love should be between two people exclusivley and they should work together to make it the best it can be you go adding a couple more people into that equation and things will get messy.
@trusko (198)
11 Apr 08
Hi, thanks for your response. I completely agree with you. That is how I feel it in my heart. But as I mentioned obviously people have different opinions and live their lives their way. ;-)
@littleone3 (2065)
12 Apr 08
I could never have an open relationship just the thought of sharing my partner with someone else is horrible. I once had a boyfriend who decided that we were having an open relationship but he forgot to tell me this. As soon as i found out he got dumped as its just not my thing. If other people want to do that i don't have a problem with that. Everybody to thier own.
@ocean3 (17)
• Russian Federation
12 Apr 08
An open relationship is a clean relationship where regardless of what is happening both sides are honest and it is very possible of course when the people involved are truly open with each other..
@joshdale08 (2324)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
call me conservative or a prude or opinionated, i don't care. i'm still not or open relationships! you're right! why get committed to one and then play the field, too? what's the point? and what will this teach your children? ultimately, the most important thing only is to teach your kids by example. if and when my hubby starts seeing other women, i'd immediately think of leaving. i will not subject myself and my kids to all the trouble and pain caused bu infidelity.
@eden32 (3975)
• United States
12 Apr 08
Different things work for different couples/families. Open can mean different things in different relationships. I have a few friends who are "poly". It happens those I know are 2 wives with 1 husband, although it could be any combination of genders. They no longer date outside of their triad, but they did at one time. I've also known swingers, which is totally different- those couples are in committed relationships on most levels but who want to explore their sexuality with others- maybe occasionally or maybe frequently. The common thread in working 'alternative' relationships is communication. If partners are honest with each other about what they enjoy, what they want and where their boundaries are then their relationship will be good, & strong. It's when you are dishonest (whether you are open or not) that problems arise. My partner & I do not have an 'open' relationship in the way you asked. Neither of us date others or intend to at this time, but we do have an open relationship in that we've talked about it (& everything else under the sun) before. We're open to the idea that either of us could decide at some point that perhaps we'd like to explore something different. We're open to hearing what the other says, and then deciding together if that works for us.
@jesbellaine (4140)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
I have a good friend who is engaged with an "Open relationship" scenario. According to her, she and her new boyfriend decided to have an open relationship becuase they are not "really" ready yet to commit with one another. At first it is cool but in the long run, they parted. So based on what i have seen, it will not really work out. For me when you enter into a relationship, it means that you are both ready for a "serious commitment". I want to have someone who I can call my own and I don't like to "play with the fire" so I guess the answer is "NO, it will not work out".
@chiyosan (30213)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
i dont and wont gofor such a relationship. maybe it works for other people, but i wont take such a risk. of course if i love someone i wouldn't want him going out with other people too and is trying his luck on getting to know other girls. that is absurd! i cannot wait around all day praying he's not found a better one and replace me.. its gonna be a torturing thought.
• United States
12 Apr 08
I agree with you trusko. Like you said, what is the point being in a relationship if you are going to be with someone else? I wouldn't agree to an open relationship, it would be pointless.
11 Apr 08
I agree with you i cant understand how a couple would want to sleep with another person then come home to their partner and share all the information with them, it's just too wierd and my theory also is surely if your partner were sleeping with another person you would be jelouse and if you werent jelouse then how can you be in love with them? I think its an odd style of realtionship and like you cannot see the point of the couple being together in the first place